Basic Math

What do actors really get paid?

So with all the backlash against Angus T Jones and his wanting off Two and a Half Men, what I’ve noticed most if how many people think he should be donating all his “filthy” money to charity.

This is crap, for 2 reasons.

1- Everyone is going on and on about how much money he makes, believed to be $300,000 per episode. Which, on the surface, sounds like a shit tonne of money. (Especially to me since I earned less than $1000 an episode) but just because the studio pays $300,000 doesn’t mean that’s what he actually earns. Here’s a basic accounting breakdown of an actors pay.

Gross pay is $300,000. Being in such a high pay packet, also puts you into a super high tax bracket. Around 40%. So there’s $120,000 gone right off the bat.

Then, most actors have an agent who takes about 20% of the gross. So there goes another $60,000. If you’ve also got a manager, add another 15%, which is another $45,000. So assuming you’ve got a skeleton crew of leeches handlers, your $300,000 turns into $75,000 before you even see it. If you’ve got a publicist, or stylist, or anything else most Hollywood types have, like a lawyer on retainer, take off several thousand more.

Actors don’t work all year. So while someone may earn huge bucks while working, if you only work 13 weeks a year, as most shows do, you’ve got to now spread that $75k a week for 13 weeks ($975,000) over 52 weeks. So that’s now down to $18, 750 a week. Yes, that still seems like a lot of money, but there’s CEO’s and other people who earn just as much. There’s plastic surgeons and IT people who earn that kind of money. There’s actually a lot of people who earn over $1 million a year. I’m not one of them 🙁

We all have expenses, but celebs have additional expenses. They’re expected to spend bukoo cash on outfits for Red Carpet events, they’re giving money to charity, they’re expected to maintain a “lifestyle”. It’s expensive. Houses in California aren’t cheap. Actors have rent and mortgages and car payments just like the rest of us.

Now to number 2. Why does everyone think actors should always donate their money to charity. The boy is working for that cash. If you hate your job, and lets face it, we’ve all had a job we hated, and probably bitched about, would you be expected to donate the money you’re earning to charity? Fuck no. You’d think you’ve earned it, and the only thing that keeps you turning up each day is that paycheck. Whether you’re a Doctor doing a residency with shitty hours, or working at some crappy restaurant, if you hate it, and tell people you hate it, will everyone start laying into you telling you to work for free, or give back every cent you’ve ever earned? I worked at a shitty chain restaurant, and I tell everyone not to eat there. Does that mean I should give back all the money I earned? (All $2.06 an hour plus tips) When a celeb sues a paper for false stories, people expect them to donate the money. Um, while it’s great that some celebs do, it wasn’t the charity that was damaged. It was the celeb. Ever see a celeb, even a has been, do a show where they get to win money for themselves? No. They’re always expected to do everything for charity. Which, can be awesome. I have fond memories as a kid of doing the Children’s Hospital Telethon. We also did Celebrity Family Feud. We had to fly to Brisbane for the day. We all got a gift, like a pen or telephone. I think we also got a couple hundred bucks, which was then split out as above… But we spent money on incidentals. We didn’t have stylists, so everyone probably bought an outfit. While most celebs love being able to help a charity, and shows like Celebrity Apprentice let celebs make a bunch of money for charity, it does take time and money to do it. Also, why can’t a has been whose now working a civilian job go on a show for themselves. We’ve got bills too! Think someone who used to be on TV can go on the regular Apprentice, or regular Big Brother? Um, no. Good luck with that.

One more thing, how do people know what he does with his money? For all anyone knows, he may already donate a large percentage of his cheque to charity. Just because some celebrities make a big deal about every time they make a donation, doesn’t mean all of them do. Some people make quiet donations to their chosen charity. Just because they don’t see that as a publicity opportunity, doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. Elvis never claimed his donations as tax deductions, because he said then it wasn’t really a donation. If you announce every time you slip the Red Cross a $100, aren’t you just paying $100 for some publicity? Others may not give lots of cash, but give their time. Some are Big Brothers and Big Sisters, some do Boy Scouts, others help raise awareness. Some join the Guard. It all counts.

Celebrities don’t judge what you do with your money. Let’s not question them so much on what they do with theirs.

November 20, 2012

Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving!

Its Thanksgiving on Thursday.

I love Thanksgiving. It’s an awesome American holiday that I really enjoy. It’s not a religious day, so everyone in the country celebrates. While everyone gets together to feast, it’s not a gift giving holiday, so it doesn’t feel commercial. It’s just about everyone getting together with their family & friends and giving thanks for all the great things we have in our life.

Matt and I are headed to the in-laws for the feast. I’m super excited because our dearest friends, Eric & Melissa will be joining us. I’ve known them since I moved to the US, and Eric and I were in scouts together, and he’s the First Sergeant of my Guard unit. He also works for immigration and he made me a US citizen. He’s married to Melissa, who makes the best food ever. I love them both.

After the relatives, it’s off to a second feast with our friends. Thanksgiving is all about eating!

This year it’s also extra special because Thursday will be Matt and I’s 10th wedding anniversary. He is what I am most grateful for in this life, so it’s pretty fitting it falls on Thanksgiving.

Added bonus, news on the extradition….

There’s a lot to be Thankful for this year. I hope everyone in the US has a great Turkey Day. Everyone in Australia, I know you’ll miss out on the feast, but you can still have a turkey dinner and have happy thoughts on all your blessings.

November 6, 2012November 6, 2012

Ice Loves Coco

My new fav reality show – Ice Loves Coco

Ok, I’ve never hidden the fact that I love trashy reality TV. After a long day of serious work, sometimes it’s nice to just come home and switch off. At first I watched the Kardashians cause I was trying to work out why they were worthy of having their own reality show. I haven’t gotten into any of the MTV shows, like Jersey Shore or the ones about teenage mothers. I’m into switching off, not going into a coma….

I’ve watched Married to Jonas, and it’s interesting to see a girl who obviously loves her man, but really isn’t prepared for living the life of a musician’s wife. It’s obvious she’s not a gold digger, but I do think she’d like the nice life without him having to ever leave the house. It’ll be interesting to see whether they work out. I hope they do. It’s so nice to see a girl who loves her man for him, not what he does, but if she doesn’t toughen up, it’s just not going to work.

Then there’s Ice Loves Coco. Here’s a couple that are going to work. Her body may be fake, but her personality isn’t. She’s open and out there and looks like she’s totally comfortable with who she is. She’s also totally supportive of Ice. In return, he’s totally and utterly whipped by her. He’s what every woman wants in her man. He loves her. He loves her curves. He loves her personality. He loves her quirks. He is always right there beside her, building her up. He admits she makes his life easy and takes total care off him and he’s lost without her. They’re total best friends. They’re the ideal couple.

I think I love Ice Loves Coco for two reasons.

I love that there’s a reality show that’s positive. Yes, they’re quirky and they do some weird stuff. However, there’s no drama. There’s no cattiness. They don’t look like they’re making shit up just for ratings. They don’t fake fight to make it interesting. It’s so refreshing to see a show that just lets people like each other. Every other show, whether it’s set in a pawn shop or catching fish creates so much drama. I have enough of that in my life without watching grown ups yell at each other over petty shit. Ice Loves Coco shows that people can just be nice to each other and still be interesting. We could all use a bit of niceness in our life.

The second reason I love them is because they remind me of Matt and I. This month, on Thanksgiving Day we’ll have been married for 10 years. I will truly have a lot to be thankful for. Matt is my best friend. He’s the best friend I’ve ever had. He’s always there for me. He loves me, flaws and all. He never cared about who I used to be, what my weight is, or anything else others obsess over. He helped me grow as a person and become comfortable in my skin. He empowers me to be what ever I want to be. He’s everything a girl wants in a boy.

While spending so much time away from home for work, Ice Loves Coco lets me enjoy a little bit of the perfect relationship I have with my own man.

Do you have a favourite guilty please reality show? Is it something like the Kardashians cause you have a big family, or no family and wish you did, or do you love those singing or cooking shows cause you secretly wish you could also sing or cook? What’s your guilty pleasure?

October 29, 2012

Mr. Snuffleupagus

Snuffy, or the big hairy elephant in the room…

Remember Sesame Street? It’s all over the news now again thanks to the Presidential Elections. I was at Starbucks the other day, and the lady in front of me in line was making a reference to Sesame Street and Big Bird. Then she said something about Snuffy being invisible. I pointed out that they made him visible to the adults in the end. She said really, Why? I said it was something to do with the producers of the show wanting him to be visible because they were worried about pedophilia and kids not being believed. She said that sounded silly, and that pedophilia wasn’t that big a deal. Certainly not big enough to make a whole change on the show. I wanted to point out that it was probably a big deal to the 1 in 5 kids that’s a victim of child abuse, but instead I just grabbed my latte and thought about how little people care about issues that affect so many people. How swept under the carpet that child abuse is. How so many people just think because it didn’t hapen to them, that it’s not a big deal. About how basic human rights are like oxygen, it’s not a big deal until you’re not getting any.

As a kid, all the campaigns were focused on “Stranger Danger”. Kids were taught not to accept lollies from creepy men in cars. We shouldn’t talk to men in trenchcoats in the park. We shouldn’t believe someone who says Mum or Dad came to pick us up. They never taught kids what to do when someone in the own family was the creepy man hurting them… Nobody wants to face the fact that someone in their own family may be an abuser. People will just say, Oh don’t worry anout Uncle Fred. He’s just affectionate. Uncle Tom is just a bit handsy. Uncle Peter just likes to play tickle games. Kids aren’t told that when they go to family functions they have the option of NOT hugging their Uncle, or their cousin, or that family friend they don’t like for some reason. They’re told to sit on their lap for a family photo. When a child protests, they’re passed off as being grunpy or silly. The adults don’t want to listen. Which teaches the kids that the adults are allowed to do whatever they want to them. Because the adults don’t want to believe, and even if they do, it’s not polite to say anything. Which just makes the abuser bolder, while making the kids weaker.

TWO out of three child abuse survivors who contacted a helpline were harmed by a member of their immediate family, with just 2 per cent hurt by a stranger, research shows. A further one in four victims was harmed by a member of their extended family, one in eight by a family friend and one in 10 by a member of a religious group. Teachers were responsible for 5 per cent of child abuse, the research found. It is estimated between four and five million Australian adults are survivors of childhood trauma. Here’s the link to the News.com.au article.

It’s time that the Stranger Danger campaigns were swapped for a more realistic one. We also need to be teaching adults and not just kids. We need to teach adults that if a child is trying to tell them that they aren’t comfortable around an adult, that maybe there’s a reason for that. Maybe they just get a quirky feeling from them, just like we as adults get a bad vibe from people. However, if a kid doesn’t want to hug that person, or sit on their lap, it’s important that we don’t force them to. Tell them it’s OK. Teach them that their body is theirs, and nobody has the right to be in their personal space. If you don’t like that creepy uncle who refuses to shake your hand and insists on hugging you, even when you’ve made it clear you don’t like it, why is it then OK to allow a kid to have their personal space invaded in the same way? If your kids suddenly start hating going to Grandpa’s, or they decide they don’t like going to Boy Scouts, ask them why. Listen. Use your insticts. Don’t just ignore the issue because “it’s not polite” to say no to a hug. Don’t just ignore that someone is being innapropriate with your kids because you just don’t want to face reality. Too many adults just ignore the whole issue because “it’s messy”. Too many kids who were abused grow up and just let it happen to the next generation because they survived it, so it must just be a part of life, and their kids will survive it too. Or worse, they’ve just put themselves in such a state of denial, that just like Snuffy, who Big Bird insisted was there for 17 seasons, was not seen, because the adults just chose not to see him. They saw the effects of Snuffy, and kept blaming it on other things, or using the Snuffy excuse as a scapegoat. Finally though, Big Bird worked out how to get the adults to see that Snuffy was real. Finally the adults believed in Snuffy. Believe in Snuffy. He’s real, and so is child absue.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mr._Snuffleupagus

September 13, 2012

Middle Class Outrage

Middle Class Outrage & First World Problems

As I read through twitter, and I’m amused by pictures of peoples cats, read through news links and see people’s sandwiches, I’m also struck by the amount of outrage over petty stuff. At least most of those people know they’re being wankers by putting the little hashtag #FirstWorldProblems Then there are the people who are genuinely upset over things. Normally things that irritate me. Maybe that’s why their tweets stick out. So it’s my turn to be outraged on the internet. Oh, the irony,

I’ve learnt a few things in life. Some because of situations I’ve been in, others because of my work. Others because they should just be common sense.

Two things that strike me the most, besides the amount of absolutely worthless people on Twitter who obviously have nothing better to do all day that to cyber bully people, is the amount of whining that people do about stuff they could probably just go out and fix. Or at least do something other than sit on the computer all day and complain.

I understand not everyone is given access to all the information they need to make an informed decision all the time. However, usually a little Googling will give you some knowledge. I for example, work in Border Security. I don’t get to carry a gun and sit on the line like others in my facility do. Instead, I’m a desk jockey, writing reports, working with intel and watching the cameras. I get to call the guy on the line and give him a heads up about what’s coming. I understand I get access to information that gives me a completely different opinion than most on what goes on on a border. It’s not all refugees seeking a better life. It’s not all poor Mexicans coming to pick lettuce. For the most part, it’s not even Mexicans. It’s drug and currency runners, and other people who are running the border because they can’t get a visa because they’ve been deported 3 times for rape or murder charges. So when I read tweets about those poor, poor people who are just looking for a better life, I’m a lot more skeptical than most. I know why people don’t apply for visas. I know why people pay people smugglers. I know why people “loose” their documents. What pisses me off more though than middle class folks who want to complain about the big bad government protecting their rights by wanting immigrants to go through proper channels is how people complain about their government. Your government is protecting you. They’re trying to make sure the person who was already busted on 5 felonies who then escaped isn’t coming back to kill your kids. They’re making sure they’re not terrorists trying to pass themselves off as refugees. Also, if you’re so damn upset about the rights of said refugees, you could do something about it. Instead of complaining on twitter, or writing some snarky blog about how awful things are, get off your arse and go do something about it. I wonder how many of the complainers have bothered to go sign up and do some volunteering? When I lived in Australia, I went and did a course at TAFE that certified you to teach ESL to new migrants. It was free and only took a couple of days a week. Here, I joined a medical unit in the guard. Every year, they do a big trip to the border where they provide free medical care to people who can’t afford it. It’s right before school goes back. They give free shots to kids and adults. They do health screenings for the adults. They provide translators for those who can’t speak English. It’s all free. The people in the Guard don’t get paid. They sign up because they want to give back to their community. When there’s a fire or hurricane, the guard goes out and sets up shelters. They provide food, shelter and medical care. Instead of complaining on twitter, go join some organization that actually does something to help people.

Then there are people that complain the other way. If someone says something, like they were bummed they couldn’t afford the new iPad, some other internet hero will lambast them with how other people are starving in 3rd world countries and they shouldn’t be complaining about a lack of an iPad. I wonder if these people have ever lived in a 3rd world country. Not just visited some tourist town, but actually lived. I spent a year in Honduras. It’s the 2nd poorest country in the Western World (behind Haiti) and has the highest murder rate in the world. People there might not have had solid walls, but they all had cable TV…. People who wanted to work found work. Even if it was pushing an ice-cream cart. Others just wanted to sit at home and watch novelas all day and send their kids out to beg for money. Yes, Honduras sucked. However, if you choose not to get a job, I choose not to give your kids money on the street. I don’t need some middle class suburbanite telling me I’m an awful because I choose to have a job and choose not to hand over my hard earned money to someone who watches TV all day. If I want nice things, and I work hard to buy nice things, I shouldn’t have to feel guilty for it.It’s not much different on the south side of San Antonio. People come to the mall with their kids. They’ve got tattoos all over. They’re wearing a bunch of gold. They’re paying cash for perfume. Their kids have black teeth. Those people will complain the can’t afford to take their kids to the dentist. They can, it’s just not on their priority list.

Lastly, I want to touch on Needs, Wants and Rights.

People just can’t seem to grasp the difference between a need and a want. Just because you want something, doesn’t mean you need it. When I worked promos, the amount of people who told me they needed another sample, or shirt, or free trinket amazed me. They’d say, I need another one. I need it for my sister, and I need another one for my Aunt, and one for my cousin. If I run out, they’d say, well give me your shirt. Seriously, I had people who literally wanted the shirt off my back. I’m giving you something for free, which you’re either going to throw away, or go around the corner and sell. It’s free shit. It’s not stuff you need. Same thing applies for that cute designer handbag, shoes or any other luxury item. Needs are basic stuff, like shelter, food, water. Then there are rights. A lot of people need to read up on what their rights really are. Or what other peoples rights are in other countries before they start complaining.

For example, the US is not a signatory on the UN refugee program. They don’t have to take anyone as a refugee. Australians are not guaranteed the right to free speech. People seem to think because something applies in one country, it’s true for ALL English speaking countries. No country has to give you a tourist visa. It’s up to that country to decide if they want to let you in or not. Just because you want to visit a country, doesn’t mean you have a right to.

Lastly, there’s Need to Know. People seem to think they have a right and a need to know everything. Just look at the Wikileaks fanatics. Actually, people don’t have a right or a need to know everything. Especially when it’s sensitive information that could put other people’s lives in jeopardy. Just because you’re interested in knowing the details of something, doesn’t mean you have the right to hack somebody’s computer and find out. (Or hacking their voicemail) Your interest in a subject is not more important than making sure justice is done. It’s not more important that keeping other people safe. When the time is right, and it’s safe for everyone, information will be released. It’s not like Joe Public reads that stuff anyway. Shit, even most journalists don’t actually do any research on their own these days. For the most part, it’s the bad guys who are reading over the classified stuff. Yes, there’s plenty of stuff we get at work marked classified that I don’t think should be, I think it would be in the public interest for people to know. But where do you draw the line? It’s not my decision to decide what gets released and what doesn’t. I accept that there’s a reason it’s not being released. Just like my case. There are some details that have been released, and some stuff people will just have to wait till we go to court to hear about. Just because you’re interested in the details, doesn’t mean we’re going to spill the beans on everything before justice is done. Some things need to stay confidential till it’s over. I know that goes against my first point of educating yourself before ranting, but sometimes people just talk about stuff they have no business getting involved in. There’s also the hypocritical factor. Why is it not OK for News of the World to hack celebrities phones but it is OK to steal State secrets? Are the private messages of Hugh Grant really more important and need protecting than where a platoon of troops is? If you’re going to advocate for one, you have to accept the other.

Well, now that’s I’ve been that crazy person I’ve been bitching about, and I’ve vented and feel better, I’m going out. Tomorrow when I wake up and read twitter I’ll just tell myself everyone is being sarcastic when they tweet about shit, or they’re also just having a vent. If that doesn’t work, I’ll keep telling myself that ignorance is bliss and there’s lots of happy people out there.

September 9, 2012September 9, 2012

Re-using Food…

Getting the most out of my groceries.

Last year sometime I bought Matt an espresso machine and I got myself a juicer. For quite a few months, I juiced everyday. I even did a couple of juice fasts. I composted my pulp into the garden and I felt pretty good. Then I tapered off and pretty much stopped juicing for a while.

When I took this job, I packed up my juicer into my Airstream, and every couple of days I juiced. Mainly when I was trying to use up the veggies in the fridge. It was a good way to get rid of stuff quickly, without making some kind of soup or stir fry. Then, a few months ago I took it off my preciously small counter space and put it under the sink. There’s like a square foot of counter in this travel trailer, and if it wasn’t getting used full time, it was taking up too much space. Of course, then it was out of sight, out of mind. It didn’t get used for several months at all.

Then right before we went to the beach, I started thinking about my juicer again. I thought about pulling it back out when I got back from my 4 day. We got down to the beach, and I got to visit my friend Vicki. She’s another Aussie Expat that used to live in San Antonio, but she moved to the beach. Sitting out on the deck, she starts talking about that movie Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead. It’s the documentary about the Australian guy who travels across the US with his juicer. I had a great weekend, then headed back to the Border, and my first night at work, the guys in the office next to us ask me if I’ve seen this movie with the Aussie guy and the juicer…. Well, I figured the universe was trying to tell me something. So that night after work, I headed to get some veggies and pulled out the juicer. I drank my first juice while watching the movie, which I had actually never seen before.

I’m not fasting like they did, but I am glad to be getting some fresh juice again. We had been on a health kick at work for a while, but this week we’ve had pizza, hamburgers then KFC… So getting some veggies in at least I’m getting some kind of nutrients….

I normally do veggies, but I’ve started making fruit juice in the morning. I tried to put the pulp in my tiny little garden down here, but then yesterday morning I looked at my pulp, which was all fruit, and thought there had to be something else I could so with it. In the past I had tried to use the veggie pulp as a soup base, but it wasn’t very good. But I thought maybe the fruit pulp would be different. So I cut up an apple, threw it in a pot and stewed it till it was softish, then added the fruit pulp. I had defrosted some puff pastry I had in the freezer, and I made 4 little fruit pies. I took them to work, along with a soup made with a tonne of veggies and some prawns/shrimp. The pastries turned out pretty good, so I tried it again today. I think they look pretty good. I had used lots of blueberries, so they’re pretty purple. But it’s got a whole mash of fruit, so even though there’s pastry, it’s still a pretty good treat. Yesterday I used some cinnamon sugar butter I had in the fridge, but I didn’t have any left today, but I think they still look pretty good.

Not sure what I’m going to make for lunch today, but at least I’ve got dessert sorted. I think this is a much better use of my pulp than just chucking it in the garden, or worse, in the trash.

Do you have any weird ways you stretch your groceries? Do you do it to save money or the environment, or just hate making trips to the grocery store?

I love these cause they’re so simple. I was already making something and it’s like it almost made itself. No set recipe, just whatever is on hand. Not store bought, so I know exactly what’s in it. No chemicals or preservatives or mounds of added sugar.

Food should be simple! (and delicious)

August 1, 2012March 25, 2013

Gay Marriage

Why does it matter if gays get married?

I’m sure I’m going to upset a lot of people with this post. Gay marriage rights are such a divisive issue. But, it’s something I feel pretty strongly about, so I’m going to just put it out there…. Why start holding back now, eh?

I’m pretty amazed that in the year 2012, we are even having a discussion about gay marriage rights. I wonder if this is how people felt back in the 1950’s in the American south while they were trying to create equal rights for black people. Today it seems crazy that colored people had a separate bathroom, or had to ride at the back of the bus.

In South Africa, where Nelson Mandela is now a revered figure, it’s crazy that there used to be apartheid. Way back before my time, women weren’t allowed to vote. People couldn’t migrate to Australia if they weren’t white. People used to be burned at the stake for being a witch. My point is, there’s a lot of things in the past that people were pretty passionate about that just seem ridiculous now.

In 20 years, kids will be incredulous that gays had to fight for the right to be married. I mean, what is marriage anyway? I’d like to be all romantic and think it’s the binding together of two hearts, but really, marriage is nothing more than a legal business contract. It always has been. It’s the tying together of two people financially. Back in the day, and still today in many third world or middle eastern nations, it is a way for a man to essentially purchase a woman. The man was now responsible for his bride. He had to provide for her. Even in England a hundred years ago, women did nothing more than look for a good husband who could provide her status and money. (Pride and Prejudice anyone?) Shit, women still do that today. That’s why marriages now have pre-nups. If marriage was only about love, people wouldn’t have to sign financial contracts before they said I Do. There wouldn’t be dowries. There wouldn’t be arranged marriages.

Marriage also provides other financial benefits, like health insurance, life insurance and being recognized in a will, should one party die. It also means if one party goes to hospital, the other one is recognized as the next of kin and gets to make life altering decisions for the other one. I couldn’t imagine if I was taken to hospital and I was told that Matt couldn’t make decisions for me, that they were going to defer those to my mother. I haven’t spoken to her in over 2 years. What would she know about my wishes? When Matt was in hospital and on life support, there was a misunderstanding over whether he could have a transfusion or not. Matt and I had often talked about worst case scenarios, and I knew what he wanted. His parents had different ideas. The hospital stepped in and said as his wife I had the legal and ultimate decision over what happened to him. When he woke up, he was grateful I had been there to make the call, and stand up for what he wanted. I’m sure there’s many other people in the same position.

I love Matt more than life itself, and couldn’t imagine being without him. However, getting a Greencard so we could stay together was a pretty big push for us to get married. If we didn’t, I’d have had to keep flying back and forth. I can’t imagine being a gay or lesbian who is told that because I can’t get married, I can’t be in the same country as the one I love.

I don’t believe in the Church’s view of one man and one woman. For starters, I don’t believe in the church. I think it’s nothing more than a corrupt institution that was used back in the day to control the masses with it’s oligarchy. These days most churches are still corrupt and self serving. Look at the Catholic church. It’s all about real estate and covering up child abuse. Evangelicals and TV churches will pray for you for money. Sects of the Mormons think it’s ok to have 5 wives, but no gay marriages? Others will kill each other because they don’t believe in the same God. Religions are always picking and choosing which bits are relevant and which bits they’re not going to listen to anymore, so it’s all pretty pointless and self serving anyway.

If you need an invisible friend to talk to and that’s your thing, then power to you. I however belong to the Church of Me. I believe in myself and that’s all I need. I don’t need someone preaching to me about something that may or may not have actually occurred over 2000 years ago. I don’t need to tithe to some institution who uses it to pay off lawyers, or buy the preacher a nice house and car, while they never give anything back to their community. I don’t need to kill people in the name of my God, or think less of someone because they believe in a different God. I know right from wrong, and don’t need the promise of heaven or hell to make me stay on course with my moral compass.

Gay marriages aren’t going to erode the sanctity of marriage. People like Kim Kardashian and Ana Nicole Smith have both done that. Elizabeth Taylor couldn’t keep it with one man. JFK wasn’t loyal to Jackie O. Jackie O married Onassis for love? Yeah, right. Plenty of hetero couples make a joke of the “sanctity of marriage”. It’s up to the couple to make a marriage, it’s not up to others to judge it and approve of it.

Most of my favourite people in this world are gay. My dad was a fashion designer, and we were exposed pretty early as kids to gays and lesbians. I grew up loving “Uncle Pierro”, who was with Harold until Harold died. I was so excited when Pierro was at my brothers wedding. At channel 7, a huge number of the crew was gay. It was almost a requirement to work in the props dept. I don’t know what I would have done without Gordon. He was always there with a packet of Tim Tams and a hug. He was also the one who finally stood up to the director when she thought it was OK to hit me with a cane on set. He was the one who told her if she hit me again he was going to report her to child protective services. The cane disappeared. My best friend growing up, Kate, had a mum who was a lesbian. She lived with her partner. My favourite in-laws are Uncle Pete and Aunt Steve. I don’t know how I would have made it through some of the family get togethers without those two. My publicist Stephen lives with his gorgeous partner, Ben. Those two have done so much for me. (Although on bad days I curse Stephen for making me go public) These are all people I love, and I don’t see anything wrong or different about them. They just happen to love someone who has an inny or an outtie that matches their own. That doesn’t mean they don’t deserve to be in an equal relationship with the one they love. If Steve gets sick, Pete should be allowed to make decisions for him. If a partner dies, the one left behind should be treated as a spouse, and not have to jump through hoops with what’s left behind.

I think gays and lesbians should be allowed to have kids on their own or adopt them. Kate lived with her dad, but her mum and her partner were always there for her. What’s the difference between a couple having a kid, then one of them realizing they’re gay, and a gay couple already together having a kid? Either way the kid ends up with a blended family. I had a mother and father. Then my father died. Lots of women are single mothers. Their kids don’t have a father and mother. Saying kids need one of each is such bull-shit rhetoric. Are we going to round up all the pregnant women whose husbands died on the battlefield and tell them they can’t keep those kids because they don’t have a dad? What about women who don’t know who their baby daddy is? It’s not like a couple is an island. Kids are exposed to people of both sexes. Other adults step up. Kids seek out what they need. As long as both parents love that child, raise it properly, teach it manners and respect, who cares if they have two mummies or two daddies? So many kids these days already have 2 mums and 2 dads, or 3 or more, because their hetero parents keep getting divorced and re-married. Matt and I have chosen not to have kids. Ever. Does that mean we shouldn’t be allowed to be married? According to some religious folk, the only reason to get married is to have kids. Should infertile couples have their marriages annulled?

I don’t think it’s right, or constitutional, that town Mayors told Chick-Fil-A that they can’t open new restaurants in their cities, but you can bet your arse I won’t be eating at a Chick-Fil-A ever again. I don’t tell them they should be open on Sunday instead of going to church. Companies should make products, not spout religious views. I’m an Athiest, but I don’t try to deny people rights based on my non-belief of a deity. I don’t begrudge religious people their right to their beliefs either. I just think people should keep their religious beliefs out of politics and legal issues. Go ahead and pray before dinner, or at the rodeo, or the football game. I won’t begrudge you that right to pray in public. Just don’t expect me to say the words with you, or believe any of it. But religious people shouldn’t begrudge others their rights either. I will take those people that I love, and who have always been there for me, and who treat me with love and respect over some imaginary person and whatever crap people spouted thousands of years ago any day. I hope that Australia and America both move past the Church v’s State issue, and realize that the love/financial contract between two people shouldn’t be a religious issue.

If Matt’s uncles, Kate’s mum, or Anderson Cooper want to get married to their partners, then they should be allowed. Maybe one day people will look back and think not allowing Pete and Steve to get married is as silly as not allowing a mixed race couple to marry. What a grown couple does in their own personal life has absolutely no effect on me whatsoever. If another couple gets married, gay or straight, it’s none of my business what they do in their bedroom. It doesn’t infringe on my right to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness.

People are people. We shouldn’t be defined by the colour of our skin, by our choice of invisible friend or by who we fall in love with.

July 20, 2012July 20, 2012

Stop blaming society

It’s time people took some personal responsibility for their actions.

So in the midst of watching the shooting in Aurora and watching my twitter feed fill up with Aussie’s screaming about gun control, which I’m not going to discuss, because I’ll just piss a lot of people off, I was reading some other articles on news.com.au and there was one about fat people not being to blame for being fat. It claims junk food companies and lack of playgrounds are to blame.

Dr Samantha Thomas, who spoke at the annual Castan Centre for Human Rights Law Conference in Melbourne, said the war on obesity was failing because society put too much emphasis on personal responsibility.

“Obesity rates are still increasing because we put all the responsibility on the individual, but are completely reluctant to tackle the corporations that are part of the cause – the junk food companies, the soft drink companies, even the town planners who design new suburbs with no backyards or playgrounds,” Dr Thomas said.

This is the dumbest thing I’ve read in a long time. “Too much emphasis on personal responsibility?” What kind of nanny state has Australia turned into when people can get away with saying that there’s too much emphasis on personal responsibility? As a people, have we really gotten to the point where we just expect everyone else to take care of us? To feed us, to clothe us? To tell us what we should be eating and drinking and supplying us with everything we need to be a non productive member of society?

Now, I’m not a skinny person anymore. When I moved to the US, I was 98lbs. I looked great, but according to the folks doing my life insurance medical, I was underweight and penalized for it. I have now ballooned up to 114lbs. I’m considered to be in the healthy weight range, although the mirror tells me I could do some sit ups. My weight goes up and down, but I’ve never gotten above a size 6 pants. You know why? Because when I get to the point that my size 4 pants are getting tight, I realize if I don’t do something about it I’m going to have to put on the size 6 pants. (I only own one pair) So, I make sure that I take care of myself and start eating better. I get out the old exercise DVD’s and do a workout. I’m not going to ignore it and get into the 6’s, then keep going till I need the 8, then the 10, etc. It’s much easier to take care of it before it gets out of control. No-one else is telling me I need to lose weight. Matt would love me even if I was a size 10. (He may love me, but I don’t think he would luuurve me) I’m not an actress anymore, so there’s no pressure to stay skinny for the camera. I live in a state where even with a few extra pounds I’m still considered thin. I choose to take care of myself because I don’t want to die of a heart attack. I choose to go to the gym at work, or go do pilates or yoga at the studio. Or go walk my dog so I don’t become a roly poly. I try to choose healthy foods, although I do allow myself to occasionally eat crappy stuff. I said occasionally. I don’t drink soda everyday. To me it’s a treat. Like a once a week treat. Even then, I try to only drink stuff with real sugar in it, like Mexican coke or Ginger Beer. I avoid crap with high fructose corn syrup. Cause I don’t care what the corn society wants you to believe, it’s NOT the same as sugar.

When the zombie apocalypse comes, what are all these socialists who depend on others going to do? While I’m fit and healthy, and flee to my well stocked ranch, will all these people who think it’s some else’s responsibility to take care of them just allow themselves to be eaten, or will they turn around and think all the people who have prepared themselves should also protect them? Or, will they finally realize that it’s every man for himself and they’d better man up and take care of themselves?

I know this is a stupid analogy, but I also think that blaming society and companies that produce crap food is a chicken shit way out. They’re not forcing you to eat it. They’re not telling you it’s your only option. It’s actually very easy to walk into the supermarket and only hit the outside edges. That’s where all the real food is. Milk in the back, meat on the side, veggies in front. Don’t go down the centre isles. That’s where the junk is. Prepare your own lunch and dinner. Not only will it save you money, but it will no doubt be a lot healthier. Drink more water, less soda. Get off the couch. Or at least do something while you’re watching TV.

Most of all, stop blaming everyone else. I’ve learned that you can’t depend on anyone else. The only person who is really going to take care of you, is you. When it comes down to it, it’s always going to be every man for himself. The sooner you accept this fact, the better. So put the cookie down, take some personal responsibility, and harden the fuck up.

July 15, 2012

Australian Government to establish National Children’s Commissioner

Australia’s Youth to have a say in their own rights.

While reading the Aussie news online, I veered over to The Punch as I often do, and I saw an interesting article by Chris Varney called Kids, Don’t pipe down.

Chris talks about how he met with some kids, and talks about his own battles with Aspergers. Go read the article, but refrain from going to the comments. There’s a lot of special people who comment on The Punch…

What I got out of the article was that Australia was not doing so well with the UN, (of course, that’s nothing new. Does the UN ever have nice things to say about Australia?) and that now Australia was going to be getting a National Children’s Commissioner. How does Australia not already have such a position? Here’s a link to the announcement by the govt. They’re only announcing that they’re creating the position. It says they will later ask for submissions for the position. Maybe they already started the application process and I’ve just missed it. But still, this is 2012. How does Australia not already have someone who is dedicated to protecting kids? I mean, third world countries have people dedicated to protecting kids. Do people just expect that because Australia is a first world country that our kids are all just fine and dandy? That Australian kids don’t need help?

I can tell you first hand that kids don’t have it perfect in Australia. I also know that plenty of kids have great ideas on how to make it better. Matt and I have been involved with Venturing for years. It’s a co-ed part of Boy Scouts – teens 14 to 21. It’s great because it’s high adventure and everything is left up to the kids. The adults are simply there to supervise and provide an ear. All the decisions are left up to the kids. It teaches them to be involved, to make decisions, to stand up and be heard. If they want to go camping, it’s up to them to plan it, implement it, make sure that everything is smooth. The adults are just there to supervise and answer any questions the kids might have. Oh, and they’re also there to do the driving. 😉 Venturing reminds adults that kids are great at doing things for themselves. They’re great at problem solving and thinking out of the box. They’re great at self regulating, and they’re also many times a lot more fair than what adults would be. Given the opportunity to be listened to like adults, most kids will act like one.

I love that the Children’s Commissioner will be working alongside kids. “Crucially, the Commissioner will consult directly with children and young people to ensure their voices are heard and their needs pursued.” I hope they find a person who will actually listen to the kids, and not just hear them. I hope they find someone who values younger people’s opinions, not someone who just thinks it’s cute a kid has an idea, but then just dismisses it.

This is a huge opportunity for the Australian Govt to step up and really help Australia’s youth. It’s also a great opportunity for someone who’s interested in helping Australia’s kids to stand up and be heard. If I was in Australia, this would be the kid of thing I would love to do. Actually, this is the kid of thing I would return to Australia for.