Category: Life

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Protecting the Guilty

What about the victims rights?

So when I went public with my case, there was a couple of things I wanted to achieve. I wanted to make parents aware of what really goes on in the industry, I wanted people to take better care of their kids, and I wanted to change some laws. That was over two years ago. I’m not supposed to be blogging or talking about the case. I’m supposed to be silent while the police are investigating. At first, it was frustrating. I had been asked to go public, I did. It turned into a media circus that I wasn’t prepared for. However, I found my strength, and made it through a couple of the hardest weeks of my life, and I found the courage to stand up and scream. Unfortunately, right as I found that courage, I was asked to shut up and go hide under a rock. At first I was pissed off. Why ask me to go through that, get me fighting, and then ask me to hide again? It was very frustrating. Occasionally I would break my silence, only to get angry calls from Australia, reminding me to be quiet. Eventually I simmered down. I’ve changed a lot over the last 2 years. I have found a quiet strength in myself I didn’t know I had. I’ve also learnt patience. I now figure I waited 17 years to go public, what’s a couple more years for the police to do a thorough job? Thankfully Australia doesn’t have a Statute of Limitations on rape or child assault cases, unlike the US.  The Jerry Sandusky case took investigators 2 years, and that guy is never gonna see light again, so I’m ok with the wait. At least I got to scream his name out load. I got to tell everyone. I got to warn others of what he’s like. I also empowered many more girls to come forward and speak of their own abuse. I’ll never be able to express how awesome it is to receive emails from other girls who tell you that you gave them to strength to tell their own stories. Other women and men tell me that because I spoke up, they found the strength within themselves to tell their families of their own abuse. Many have been to the police and laid charges against their attackers. Some of them have even already been to court. Knowing you started a chain reaction makes you feel that you had a purpose in life. I still hope to change laws in Australia. I want to make the entertainment industry a safer place for kids. I want to make the world a safer place for kids. I would like Australia to set up a sex offender registry like we have in Texas. I want offenders to have their faces, names and addresses on a website where people can go and see if there’s any bad people living around them. I don’t believe any of the bullshit about vigilantes. We used the site when we had our exchange student so we could make sure she was safe on her way to school. We saw there was an offender on her route. We advised her to avoid going near that house. We showed her the photo of the guy so she would recognize him in case he tried to approach her. It wasn’t to scare her. It was just a self defense system. I use it when I’m on the road to make sure I don’t have some rapist next door to me, who seems nice asking for a cup of sugar…

I also don’t believe the crap about naming the offender will let people know who the child is. Considering that most pedophiles molest about 60 kids before they’re even caught, how could naming the one offender lead to his victim being known? The registry just has a general offense, such  as lewd act with a minor, or aggravated sexual assault of a child. It doesn’t name the child. It doesn’t say whether it was a relative or stranger. All it does is warn others that the person is a threat and to keep their kids away from them.

I hope one day to also get rid of the stigma attached to being a victim. I hate the world victim. I am no longer a victim. As a small child, a very sick individual did bad things to me. That is in no way my fault. I tried to do something about it. I told other people. Unfortunately, some equally worthless adults, much like Joe Paterno were involved. The culture of the stigma surrounding child abuse led to the silence, and therefor allowed more abuse to occur. We need to teach kids it’s not their fault. We need to empower them to speak up. We need to stop treating people like victims and like they’re contagious. We need to help them find their strength again. We need to teach them that shit happens, and we’re going to help them get over. I have no doubt that what happened to me made me who I am today. I’m also sure that speaking up 2 years ago has changed me tremendously. I found my strength. I found my voice. I became a warrior.

So while I spend my days being a literal warrior wearing my uniform, and channel my energy into my job in a Law Enforcement Intelligence Center, which is great because I get such a buzz every time we send out a BOLO and we actually capture some predator, occasionally I read some article which makes me want to come out screaming again. It’s hard to be patient when I read shit like this:

US girl faces jail for naming attackers

A KENTUCKY teenager is facing contempt of court charges for tweeting the names of the two teens who pled guilty to sexually assaulting her, in a case that inspires questions about the uses of social media in the legal system.

Seventeen-year-old Savanna Dietrich tweeted the names of the boys in response to the frustration she felt over her attackers plea bargain.Now, Dietrich could face an $US500 ($481) fine and up to 180 days in jail for the act if she is found guilty of being in contempt of the court. Her contempt hearing is scheduled for July 30. According to Dietrich, the sexual assault occurred when she passed out at a party last year.

Her attackers then molested her, and they also allegedly videotaped the incident and shared it with their friends online.

After Dietrich visited police with her parents, the juvenile defendants were charged with first-degree sexual abuse and misdemeanor voyeurism, reports the Louisville Courier Journal. But Dietrich says she was extremely unhappy with the “slap on the wrist” plea bargain her attackers were given.

Enraged, she took to her Twitter account determined to publicly expose the boys for their act. “They said I can’t talk about it or I’ll be locked up,” one of her tweets read. “So I’m waiting for them to read this and lock me up. ____ justice.

“Protect rapist is more important than getting justice for the victim in Louisville.”

She reiterated in a Courier Journal interview that she was fully prepared to pay the price for her actions. “I’m at the point, that if I have to go to jail for my rights, I will do it,” Dietrich told the Louisville paper. “If they really feel it’s necessary to throw me in jail for talking about what happened to me … as opposed to throwing these boys in jail for what they did to me, then I don’t understand justice.”

Here’s a girl was was attacked, the guys taped it and posted it online. So not only did they violate her originally, but then she was humiliated again by having it shown to others. She went to the police, and the guys were given a slap on the wrist. So she goes public, and names her attackers, who one would assume would already be known, given they themselves used public domain to share their video of the attack, and she’s the one facing jail?

What the fuck is wrong with society? If these douchebags are using the internet to share their attack, she should be able to use the same internet to shame them. Their names and faces are already out there. Give her the chance to reclaim her power, her voice. Let her vent. I don’t care if her attackers were also teens and should be protected. They’re not going to turn 18 and suddenly become model citizens. They’re going to go off to college and prey on girls at frat parties.

We need to stand up as a society and change the laws. We need to start protecting the innocent. We need to teach kids to protect themselves. We need to give those that have been victims their self worth back. We need to take it away from those that do wrong.

I’ve received emails from actors here in the US letting me know they’re following my case in Australia. Unfortunately the US has a Statute on childhood abuse. However, I’m pretty sure if my case goes well, you’re going to hear a lot more people stand up and start talking about their own abuse. Hopefully then the younger ones will feel empowered to stand up for themselves too. It sucks to be a test case, with the fear of letting people down, but it’s also wonderful knowing I’ve had a positive impact on so many people, and could change some futures.

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Preparing yourself for the worst case scenario

Training and knowledge is key

Most of us would prefer to go through life thinking that all is peaceful and we’ll never be in a mass casualty situation. Unfortunately, disaster can strike at any time, any place. Whether it’s a hurricane, earthquake, tsunami or a made man incident like the Aurora, CO shooting, we need to be prepared for the worst.

Our unit motto in the Medical Rangers in “Prepare for the Worst, Hope for the Best”.  As a State Guard unit, we are not trained to be aggressors. We don’t carry guns, we aren’t trained for combat. We focus on disaster relief. Some units do shelter management, some train for communications, Medical trains to help out in case of injuries, as well as to help the sick and injured in shelters.

Part of our training is for mass casualty exercises, such as Medical Response to Terrorist bombings. It’s not pretty to train for these scenarios, but it’s much better to be prepared and never have to use it than to have a situation like the Batman movie shooting and have untrained or unprepared people.

In my full time job with the guard, working in a law enforcement intelligence center, we get all sorts of crazy situations. We get lots of bomb threats. Thankfully, none of them has eventuated. We get lots of other bad situations, which we have to respond to. 99% of these never make the paper. People complain that law enforcement and big brother government are too over the top in their efforts to protect us. They think that just because there aren’t things on the news everyday that the government is making up perceived threats as an excuse to keep tabs on us. I can tell you, there are things going on everyday, it’s just not released to the news. Law enforcement is doing a great job at protecting people. That’s why we don’t have more mass casualties.Sometimes though, some whack job gets through the cracks and goes on a major killing spree. We still don’t know this guys motive, it’s too early yet. However, it’s coming out that he wasn’t right. Even his mother said as soon as she saw the news, she knew it was her son…

But, just as a timely reminder, in case you want to educate yourself, here’s a lesson in Active Shooters. You should probably keep a copy of it at work, just in case you ever are unlucky enough to have someone go postal. Read it over. It’s pretty simple, but it’s a timely reminder.

Do a basic first aid course. Keep some basic first aid supplies. I have a kit in the car, at home and at work. Keep your eyes open, and always trust your instincts.

Be safe out there.

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Stop blaming society

It’s time people took some personal responsibility for their actions.

So in the midst of watching the shooting in Aurora and watching my twitter feed fill up with Aussie’s screaming about gun control, which I’m not going to discuss, because I’ll just piss a lot of people off, I was reading some other articles on news.com.au and there was one about fat people not being to blame for being fat. It claims junk food companies and lack of playgrounds are to blame.

Dr Samantha Thomas, who spoke at the annual Castan Centre for Human Rights Law Conference in Melbourne, said the war on obesity was failing because society put too much emphasis on personal responsibility.

“Obesity rates are still increasing because we put all the responsibility on the individual, but are completely reluctant to tackle the corporations that are part of the cause – the junk food companies, the soft drink companies, even the town planners who design new suburbs with no backyards or playgrounds,” Dr Thomas said.

This is the dumbest thing I’ve read in a long time. “Too much emphasis on personal responsibility?” What kind of nanny state has Australia turned into when people can get away with saying that there’s too much emphasis on personal responsibility?  As a people, have we really gotten to the point where we just expect everyone else to take care of us? To feed us, to clothe us? To tell us what we should be eating and drinking and supplying us with everything we need to be a non productive member of society?

Now, I’m not a skinny person anymore. When I moved to the US, I was 98lbs. I looked great, but according to the folks doing my life insurance medical, I was underweight and penalized for it. I have now ballooned up to 114lbs. I’m considered to be in the healthy weight range, although the mirror tells me I could do some sit ups. My weight goes up and down, but I’ve never gotten above a size 6 pants. You know why? Because when I get to the point that my size 4 pants are getting tight, I realize if I don’t do something about it I’m going to have to put on the size 6 pants. (I only own one pair) So, I make sure that I take care of myself and start eating better. I get out the old exercise DVD’s and do a workout. I’m not going to ignore it and get into the 6’s, then keep going till I need the 8, then the 10, etc. It’s much easier to take care of it before it gets out of control. No-one else is telling me I need to lose weight. Matt would love me even if I was a size 10. (He may love me, but I don’t think he would luuurve me) I’m not an actress anymore, so there’s no pressure to stay skinny for the camera. I live in a state where even with a few extra pounds I’m still considered thin. I choose to take care of myself because I don’t want to die of a heart attack. I choose to go to the gym at work, or go do pilates or yoga at the studio. Or go walk my dog so I don’t become a roly poly. I try to choose healthy foods, although I do allow myself to occasionally eat crappy stuff. I said occasionally. I don’t drink soda everyday. To me it’s a treat. Like a once a week treat. Even then, I try to only drink stuff with real sugar in it, like Mexican coke or Ginger Beer. I avoid crap with high fructose corn syrup. Cause I don’t care what the corn society wants you to believe, it’s NOT the same as sugar.

When the zombie apocalypse comes, what are all these socialists who depend on others going to do? While I’m fit and healthy, and flee to my well stocked ranch, will all these people who think it’s some else’s responsibility to take care of them just allow themselves to be eaten, or will they turn around and think all the people who have prepared themselves should also protect them? Or, will they finally realize that it’s every man for himself and they’d better man up and take care of themselves?

I know this is a stupid analogy, but I also think that blaming society and companies that produce crap food is a chicken shit way out. They’re not forcing you to eat it. They’re not telling you it’s your only option. It’s actually very easy to walk into the supermarket and only hit the outside edges. That’s where all the real food is. Milk in the back, meat on the side, veggies in front. Don’t go down the centre isles. That’s where the junk is. Prepare your own lunch and dinner. Not only will it save you money, but it will no doubt be a lot healthier. Drink more water, less soda. Get off the couch. Or at least do something while you’re watching TV.

Most of all, stop blaming everyone else. I’ve learned that you can’t depend on anyone else. The only person who is really going to take care of you, is you. When it comes down to it, it’s always going to be every man for himself. The sooner you accept this fact, the better. So put the cookie down, take some personal responsibility, and harden the fuck up.

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Australian Government to establish National Children’s Commissioner

Australia’s Youth to have a say in their own rights.

While reading the Aussie news online, I veered over to The Punch as I often do, and I saw an interesting article by Chris Varney called Kids, Don’t pipe down.

Chris talks about how he met with some kids, and talks about his own battles with Aspergers. Go read the article, but refrain from going to the comments. There’s a lot of special people who comment on The Punch…

What I got out of the article was that Australia was not doing so well with the UN, (of course, that’s nothing new. Does the UN ever have nice things to say about Australia?) and that now Australia was going to be getting a National Children’s Commissioner. How does Australia not already have such a position? Here’s a link to the announcement by the govt. They’re only announcing that they’re creating the position. It says they will later ask for submissions for the position. Maybe they already started the application process and I’ve just missed it. But still, this is 2012. How does Australia not already have someone who is dedicated to protecting kids? I mean, third world countries have people dedicated to protecting kids. Do people just expect that because Australia is a first world country that our kids are all just fine and dandy? That Australian kids don’t need help?

I can tell you first hand that kids don’t have it perfect in Australia. I also know that plenty of kids have great ideas on how to make it better. Matt and I have been involved with Venturing for years. It’s a co-ed part of Boy Scouts – teens 14 to 21. It’s great because it’s high adventure and everything is left up to the kids. The adults are simply there to supervise and provide an ear. All the decisions are left up to the kids. It teaches them to be involved, to make decisions, to stand up and be heard. If they want to go camping, it’s up to them to plan it, implement it, make sure that everything is smooth. The adults are just there to supervise and answer any questions the kids might have. Oh, and they’re also there to do the driving. 😉 Venturing reminds adults that kids are great at doing things for themselves. They’re great at problem solving and thinking out of the box. They’re great at self regulating, and they’re also many times a lot more fair than what adults would be. Given the opportunity to be listened to like adults, most kids will act like one.

I love that the Children’s Commissioner will be working alongside kids. “Crucially, the Commissioner will consult directly with children and young people to ensure their voices are heard and their needs pursued.” I hope they find a person who will actually listen to the kids, and not just hear them. I hope they find someone who values younger people’s opinions, not someone who just thinks it’s cute a kid has an idea, but then just dismisses it.

This is a huge opportunity for the Australian Govt to step up and really help Australia’s youth. It’s also a great opportunity for someone who’s interested in helping Australia’s kids to stand up and be heard. If I was in Australia, this would be the kid of thing I would love to do. Actually, this is the kid of thing I would return to Australia for.

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Trying to get back in shape….

Getting healthy v’s getting skinny

Why does everyone have an opinion of everyone else diet choices?

I love my new job. I work with a great team. We’re a small group, only six of us. We joking call ourselves JOIC Team Six, since we’re a military unit, deployed to the border. Unfortunately, we’re all desk jockeys. We don’t get to see any real action. We sit behind a desk all day, working intel, making powerpoint presentations and watching cameras.

When I first got here, they said we participated in mandatory PT, mainly because they also ate breakfast tacos everyday and had lots of BBQ’s. Nobody has ever actually enforced the PT rule, and apparently everyone here has gained at least 15 lbs in the first 3 months. I’ve not been here for 7 months, and I haven’t gained 15 lbs, but before I came down here I thought I’d be using my spare time to work out everyday, and had planned to go home looking smoking hot like Jessica Biel. This hasn’t happened either…..

My weight fluctuates about 5 lbs on a weekly basis. Matt says he can tell when I’ve been eating well and actually doing some exercise. My biggest downfall is I’ll eat really healthy and then I go home to San Antonio for a weekend or my 4 day, and I eat crap and don’t exercise at all. So then I spent time looking for an eating plan I could live on while I was here that wouldn’t be too hard to make Matt eat when I went home. Even worse than the weight fluctuation was I was getting headaches from the food changes. We did some research, and we’ve worked out it was because I was going between high sugar and carb intake to low sugar. I also worked out that I really don’t like the feelings I get from sugars and carbs. So after some research, Matt showed me a ketonic diet and how people would get headaches going on and off. It’s also what people get when on Atkins Induction, or whats referred to as Induction Flu. After looking at various eating plans, like low calorie, which leaves me constantly hungry and wanting to snack on crap, or low sugar, or eating how I used to eat, which was pretty much pescatarian, I decided to try something new. Matt loves his meat. I couldn’t go home on weekends and make him be a vegetarian. I didn’t want to be constantly hungry or having headaches. So I decided to kick start some fat loss with a ketonic diet, and I found the Atkins Induction plan to be fairly easy to do. The website actually had a full 2 week eating plan, with recipes and everything. Best of all, when I go home, I can stick to the plan, and Matt will eat it. I did go nuts last weekend home though. It was the Italian Society’s Spaghetti Dinner, and all money raised goes to the kids of slain police officers, so I happily lapped up some carby goodness.

I chose to do Atkins because it was the easiest. They have a free website, they have recipes that are super easy and require minimal fuss. They have snacks and shakes for when I just want something small or don’t feel like cooking. Even better, since starting on it, I feel great. I don’t get headaches, I don’t get that carb coma of needing a nap after lunch. When I bring more food to work the boys love it because it’s steak and salad. I never feel super hungry anymore, except for when I cheat and eat sugar or pastry. But anytime I mention I’m eating low carb or trying Atkins, people just freak the fuck out. Never mind I feel great. Never mind I’ve already had people telling me that I look great and I’m losing weight. As soon as you say low car, low sugar, whether it’s Atkins, Paleo, Caveman or any other low carb diet, people start going on about how you can’t just cut out an entire food group. Well, actually, I can. It’s not so much about cutting out sugar and bread. It’s about cutting out the crap that has been loaded into pre-processed foods. I’ve always been fanatical about reading labels on food. Have you read an ingredient list on simple things like bread? In the US, it’s has a list 50 ingredients long, with crap like high fructose corn syrup, and a bunch of things that I can’t pronounce. My philosophy is that if you can’t pronounce it, you shouldn’t eat it. I’ve also stopped drinking soda. Well, I take that back. If I can get a Bundaberg Ginger Beer, I indulge. I’ve had a Mexican Coke, cause it’s got real sugar in it. But they’re very occasional things. I do like bubbly drinks, so I’ve starting keeping a supply of Perrier or San Pellegrino around. I get the fizz, and still feel good 20 minutes later.  I’ve started cooking again. I used to love to cook. I used to be an actual cook in a restaurant. Somewhere, I forgot how much I enjoyed cooking. Now I cook everymeal from scratch again. No buying frozen meals or eating at fast food. I make clean healthy food, and it’s delicious. In fact, it’s so good, one of the other guys at work pays me to bring him food every day.

I don’t know why people think Atkins in unlimited steak, bacon and eggs. I eat green leafy salads, lots of veggies, and have a small portion of lean meat, like filet mignon or pan seared fish. I’ll make avocado and shrimp salad or roast chicken. I’m not really a bacon fan, but I’ll make it in small portions. I do enjoy eggs for breakfast, and they’re way more filling than cereal. I cook them in coconut oil, and they’re so light and fluffy. Actually, I cook just about everything in coconut oil. It doesn’t burn like Olive oil.

So far it’s working pretty well for me. I cheat a lot, like today I made Beef Wellington with green peas. It was delicious. I’m thinking of giving up on the restrictive Induction phase and moving to the next one. I really don’t have that much to lose, only about 10 lbs, but it’s all in my belly. The rest of me looks just fine. It actually doesn’t even bother me that much, except I don’t look super cute in a bikini, but since I’m not an actress getting papped at the beach, I really don’t care. The only real reason I’m trying to get rid of it is because it’s the most unhealthy place to have fat.

I turned 35 this year. Next year I’ll be 36, the same age my dad was when he died of a heart attack. I have naturally high cholesterol, which the doc and I worked out I could manage without taking prescription drugs. But now I figure I should get off my lazy ass and try to actually get healthy again. Not for looks, but for my life. I don’t need to be 100 lbs again. I don’t need to fit into a size 0 jeans. I just need to get rid of the belly fat (and hopefully I won’t lose my boobs or butt). I no longer feel the need to look like a Hollywood actress, but I also don’t want to look like a fat Texan. I think that’s attainable. I think it’s a realistic goal.

I just wish people would stop telling me that what I’ve chosen to do, which is actually working for me, was wrong.

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Why people don’t like Refugees

Boat people, asylum seekers, people smugglers and immigrants.

My view on the current boat people tragedy off the Australian coast is admittedly skewed. I haven’t lived in Australia for over 10 years. I spent a year of high school in Tegucigalpa, Honduras, a 3rd world country which this year made the list as the most violent city in the world, and I’m currently deployed as an analyst in an intelligence center that deals with border crime. I’ve also gone through the immigration process myself as a Naturalized US Citizen. I’d like to have a Utopian view of the world and think that all fortunate people of the world should just take the less fortunate into their homes, but I know in practical application, it just doesn’t work.

Contrary to the headline, I don’t think that anyone out there dislikes genuine refugees. We feel bad for those who have been through so much. We are saddened when we see what poverty or war stricken countries they are fleeing from. It’s hard to see pictures of children being shot in the streets. The problem with refugees, is that the word is often misused or over used. People see them as illegal. I do find it odd that people are irritated by “boat people” but don’t seem as concerned by the huge number of people who come to Australia on tourist visas and who then never leave. Maybe because people figure if they can stay they’re not a burden to the system. They’re either working under the table or are independently wealthy. Maybe because the majority of illegal immigrants in Australia are from the UK, the USA and Malaysia. I don’t want to hear it’s because they’re white. Most of the Americans I personally know of in Australia who have overstayed are African American. I think it’s because those people entered the country with documentation, and we know who they are.

The actual definition of a refugee: Any person who owing to a well founded fear of being persecuted for reasons of race, religion, nationality, membership of a particular social group or political opinion, is outside the country of his/her nationality and is unable, or owing to such fear, is unwilling to avail himself/herself of the protection of that country.

Now, there are more amendments than that, and there are restrictions also. People who have committed war crimes, have violated laws, etc will not be considered refugees. Of course, it’s still pretty open to interpretation. I mean, people like Matt Newton or Kyle Sandilands could both claim to be members of a particular social group, (Celebrities) and they are so persecuted by the media and public in Australia they should be allowed to live elsewhere. Stupid argument, I know, but it’s all in the interpretation of it, isn’t it? It’s also why people need to be assessed as genuine refugees.

People get refugees confused with economic migrants, environmental migrants and people who are just looking for a better life. The best example for me is Hurricane Katrina. For years afterwards, people in the street would ask me for money, declaring they were Katrina refugees from New Orleans. Yes, Katrina was a disaster, yes people were displaced and many people lost everything, but these people were not “Refugees”.  Alabama and Mississippi suffered just as bad as Louisiana, but they picked up the pieces and got back along with life, without making a huge fuss. They weren’t being persecuted, (unless caught looting), they weren’t outside their country and their own government was helping them. By definition, not refugees. But people got so used to hearing the term in reference to Katrina, the word lost a lot of its meaning.

Then there’s the issue of “illegals”. These are people who have no valid reason to claim refugee status, but choose to enter a country illegally, or enter with a visa, but let it expire. In Texas alone, Border Patrol agents apprehend over 3000 illegals a WEEK. Contrary to popular belief, they’re not all Mexican. In fact, only about half are Mexican. Honduras, El Salvador and Guatemala are big ones, but there’s normally a list of 20 or so nations on there. We even get an Aussie or Kiwi every couple of months. There’s also terrorists coming through the border. At his sentencing hearing in San Antonio, one al qaeda terrorist on trial stated he didn’t care he was being put in prison. He had brought hundreds of other terrorists across the border over the years and they were now all over the US, and he would never tell where they were. The big problem is the Coyotes, the people smugglers. It amazes me what people will pay to cross the border. Instead of going to the embassy and applying for a work visa, which I’ve been told by many  Mexican friends is actually a very easy task, (they’ve actually done it) people will pay someone hundreds to get them to the border. They then pay another coyote $1200 to cross the river. They’ll then pay another $3000 to get to a third city. I just don’t get it. If you can save up that kind of money for a coyote, why not just go pay for a visa? Of course, it seems in every load we catch, there’s someone in there who couldn’t get a visa. People who have been deported multiple times for DWI, Rape, Murder, etc. There are people who pay their way across by transporting drugs. People who get caught up in the violence and end up in the sex trade or who are told their families will be murdered if they don’t bring drugs across. There are poor migrants from south of Mexico who are murdered by the hundreds in Mexico because they won’t be drug smugglers, or can’t afford the coyotes. People die crossing to the US. In summer, these people are ill prepared. They don’t have enough water. They die of dehydration or heat stroke. The coyote doesn’t care. Just like the people with the shitty unseaworthy boats bringing people to Australia. They don’t care if the conditions are bad, or if their passengers die. They just want their money. The Mexican cartels are in a bloody war, not just over drug routes, but over people smuggling routes. Almost 60,000 people have been murdered since Presidente Calderon took office. The DTO’s are ruthless and don’t care who or what gets in their way, they just want the cash. So many Mexicans could be classed as genuine refugees. Border Patrol Agents ask them leading questions, trying to get them to just ask for it. Do you feel scared to return? Do you fear for your life? Many are allowed to stay on humanitarian grounds. Many of them however are simply seeking to come to the US, steal someone else’s identity, work for a while, send the money home and then move back there. They’re not here to contribute to society. They are what are classed as Illegal. People who have bothered to go through the immigration process legally, and those whose identities are stolen by illegals really don’t like them. People may confuse genuine refugees with illegals, and that’s sad for the refugees.

What about the people of Haiti? Are they considered refugees? Before the earthquake, they were the poorest nation in the western world. They had a huge crime rate. Life pretty much sucked. Unlike Cubans however, when they took a raft to the US, they weren’t granted asylum. They were put into detention centers. Then they had that devastating earthquake. They still weren’t refugees though. They had an environmental disaster and they certainly needed help. They still need help. But taking people out of Haiti isn’t going to help. They need people to go there and teach them how to rebuild, physically and emotionally.

Some Cubans are refugees. Although they’re not just welcomed en masse either. They have to actually make dry land and then ask for political asylum. If they are caught out at sea, they will be turned back. If a USCG or USBP Agent grabs them before they make it onto dry land, they’re out.

I don’t know how to fix the boat problem in Australia. How do you take in genuine refugees that need your help while discouraging scummy people smugglers who are willing to let people die just so they can make money? You can’t just let people loose in the community without finding out who they are first. Australia’s first responsibility is to its citizens. They need to make sure they’re safe. Immigration camps are not all bad. My mothers best friend came  to Australia from Scotland. She had to spend time in Villawood Detention Center. The govt. wanted to make sure people were free of disease. We still need to do this. The countries refugees come from are not ideal. They have many diseases that have been eradicated in Australia. If people don’t have documents, how can we be certain that they are who they say they are? How do we know they’re genuine refugees, and not really a cousin of Saddam Hussein trying to blend in with everyone else on a boat? How do we know they’re not fleeing their country because they’re wanted for war crimes?

We need to treat genuine refugees with respect. We need to take care of them. We need to do what is on the treaty we signed with the UN. But we still need to protect those that are contributing towards the cost of those refugees. People need to be vetted, and sometimes this takes time. People live in refugee camps in disgusting living conditions in Africa or the Middle East for years at a time. Some people have been in camps for over 15 years, without running water or access to proper meals. When you compare those camps to the ones in Australia, or even the ones off shore, ours are like Club Med. Australians might not think they’re flash, but they’re a shit tonne better than whatever hell hole they just came from. People are fed good meals everyday, they’re given clean water, decent shelter and their children are given access to education. Some of their conditions are better than the soldiers deployed fighting for those people. Yes it sucks people had to flee their homelands, and it’s not ideal being in a camp, but if all you do is bitch about the conditions, this flags to me you’re not a genuine refugee. A genuine refugee is just grateful to be away from the situation they were in. If they demand to be sent to a particular country, this tells me they are in fact an economic migrant, not a refugee. When the Chileans who were being persecuted by Pinochet asked for refugee status from America and were denied, then also told no by Canada, but given visas to Australia, they didn’t complain they should be allowed to go to the US. They were grateful someone, anyone, gave them a refugee visa and they had an out. They were grateful to be taken in. They didn’t complain about conditions, or make demands of the government. I can imagine if my life was in danger and I had the money to pay my way out, I would try, as would many others, but when people who have paid $15,000 to a rickety boat smuggler start demanding they have the right to be free in a certain country, this tells me they didn’t really have it that bad. Oversimplified yes, but simply my opinion. There’s also a question of why those boats are filled up with mainly men.  It’s much easier for Women and Children to be perceived as refugees. They seem more at risk. But as someone who wears a uniform and is willing to risk my life for others, I wonder what makes some men run and what makes others choose to stay and fight. Why should the US and Australia and other countries send their sons off to war to die for your country if you won’t stay and defend it yourself? Men who are accompanying their families are understandable. But I think people have less sympathy for those single men who are simply getting out so they don’t have to fight. It seems cowardly.

I understand something needs to be done to help refugees. I don’t know how to fix the problem, but I don’t think people should be using this loss of life as an excuse to bitch about whoever is currently in parliament. Julia Gillard didn’t ask these people to risk their lives by getting on an unsafe boat and attempting to cross the sea. It’s not Australia’s fault that the dozens of other countries in the region choose not to be part of the UN Refugee program. It’s not the Australian governments fault that other countries are at war. All it can do is try to work out how to settle people with the least loss of life. Pushing the government to make hasty decisions while everyone is in crisis mode isn’t going to help that.  There has to be a way to help refugees while discouraging people smugglers from profiteering off the desperation of others. Maybe the UN needs to go into the camps and divide people up and each country has a navy ship waiting to transport people. Maybe while people are in camps the UN could do a better job of vetting people so they could be moved quicker. Maybe Australia could hire more immigration officers so vetting done on Australian soil is quicker. Maybe we do need to turn back boat people who have managed to go through Indonesia and make them take some responsibility. I don’t know what the solution is, but I do know we need to discourage people smugglers. They’re not out there moving people from crappy countries out of the goodness of their hearts. They’re people who are taking advantage of others in a time of desperate need. They’re willing to risk people’s lives for a big pay day. They’re no different than drug smugglers. Do the math, you fill up a rickety boat you bought for $1000, put 200 people on there at $10,000 each. That’s a sweet payday. Being a refugee isn’t illegal, but being a people smuggler is. How do we help one while stopping the other?

I think it’s great Australia implemented a program for people to sponsor refugees in their homes. It’s like an exchange student program. People can learn so much about each others cultures, and this will help the refugees adapt to Aussie life much quicker. I applaud the government for coming up with a program that will benefit the community both economically and socially. I think anyone who has the means to do so, but doesn’t and prefers to just sit back and whine about the country not doing enough should just shut up, or come up with another solution, and then actually implement it. Instead of complaining, use that energy to work out how to help people. Write a blog post with your ideas, submit them to others to review. Give a smile to a refugee. Invite one over for dinner. Buy a nice yacht and bring people over for free. Use your airline miles to sponsor someone.  Go do the ESL Teacher course at TAFE that lets you become a free English language trainer for migrants. Do something, anything. Just don’t turn it into finger pointing or a political debate. That’s not going to help anyone.

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Why people secretly like Reality TV

Or at least why I enjoy reality TV

Today while reading news.com.au I came across an article by Chris Paine, a journo with a column on the Punch. He had written a post about Trashy Reality TV becoming his life. It was interesting to see a man’s perspective on reality TV, especially someone who was into macho football and drinking with the boys at the pub.

I used to enjoy watching the news. I loved it. I also loved NCIS, CSI, Law and Order, Lie to Me and House. I loved shows that make you think. When I had a day of dealing with idiots while working at a restaurant or in retail, I craved some intelligent viewing. I wanted to see what was going on in the real world. After going public I lost interest in Law & Order. Seeing Benson and Stabler nicely wrap up a case in an hour was irritating. The cast changed so many times on CSI, I didn’t like it anymore. House got to the point where we knew if it was 8:45, he was about to have his epiphany. Lie to Me got cancelled.

Now I have a job where we literally have a wall of television screens that are tuned in to every news channel and I’m constantly bombarded with the news, which is recycled every few minutes on each network, I like to watch something else. My job involves reading intelligence reports all day, scouring news sites and writing weekly reports. I work in a Law Enforcement Intelligence Center. I wear a military uniform. So now when I watch anything military or LE related, I am irritated with all the Hollywood bullshit that has no realism. Guys who don’t wear their uniform correctly, or leave their cover on inside. Cops who do stupid shit. Make believe scenarios like on NCIS LA where they have totally unbelievable technology that helps them catch the bad guy in 10 minutes.I also see a lot of dead people in my reports. Not gentle dead people. Violently killed dead people. Or usually, bits of dead people….It’s not pretty and I see it so much at work I no longer want to see it on TV. When I first got here and went to see a movie with one of the FBI analysts, I didn’t get the no-violence in movies preference. Now I totally get it. You can only watch so many execution videos before a movie like SAW or Hostel just isn’t appealing anymore. I can understand why lawyers hate law shows, and why medical people hate doctor shows.

So these days, when I need to switch off, I like to turn on E! Suddenly, Keeping Up With The Kardashians seems like fun. I love Tosh.O and Chelsea Lately. Fashion Police and who was wearing what to which awards ceremony is fun. At night at work, we turn on stupid TV. One of the guys has so many movies on his laptop and we plug it in and watch it. Today, before heading to work I was watching Mean Girls. I got to work and turned it on. None of the boys cared. They all watched it. Sometimes, you just need to watch something that has nothing to do with anything. It’s a way to switch off. Being deployed and away from my in-laws, and being an expat and being so far from my own family, watching the Kardashians makes me see that some people actually like their family. Mostly I think they like each other too much and could use some other people in their lives, but I get that they probably do have other friends, they just don’t want to be part of the show. But for half an hour I get to witness family time. I get to see people interacting. I get to hear family tell each other they love them. It’s something I don’t get down here.

Before you judge someone because they watch crappy reality shows, understand that not everything has to be super intellectual all the time. Life has to have some fun in it. If you have a fun job and crave high brow TV when you get home, great. If you have a super stressful job and silly TV gives your mind a break, then power to you. That’s why there’s so many different styles of show on TV. That way we all have something to entertain us and take our mind off life. Don’t tell people they’re stupid because they choose to watch Lara Bingle or Celebrity Apprentice. For people with stressful jobs, it’s much cheaper than talking to a shrink and better for you than unwinding with a 6 pack.

If you don’t like reality or silly TV, don’t watch it. Change the channel. But don’t demand it be taken off TV or spend all day on websites bitching about it. While you’re watching 4 Corners, I’ll be watching Fashion Police. I won’t judge you and I hope you won’t judge me in return.

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Being Lara Bingle

Why So Much Hate Australia?

Since Channel 10 likes to geoblock, and nobody has posted it onto YouTube yet, I haven’t actually been able to watch Being Lara Bingle yet. However, since I do use Twitter and read the Aussie papers, even while being deployed with the Guard, I know that Lara Bingle has a reality show and that it started to air this week. I also know that there are plenty of haters out there.

I guess after all I went through in the last couple of years I shouldn’t be shocked by all the armchair heroes with internet access spouting hate towards anyone and everyone, but sadly, I guess I just still expect better from people and am saddened when I read so much bitterness and hate directed towards someone who is simply trying to live her life and be successful at it. When I read Australian papers and all the comments from the Aussie public, it actually makes me glad that I moved away. The Tall Poppy Syndrome in Australia was always ridiculous, but now it’s just sad. I’ve learnt to love America. It’s a place where people are encouraged to dream big and go for it. If you want to be an actor, a reality star, a business person or athlete, people will support you and encourage you and be happy for you if you make it. In Australia, everyone loves “the little Aussie battler” but the moment that person makes it, the minute they achieve their dreams, they become a pariah. They’re an arsehole. They’re a jerk. They’ve become too big for their boots. Are we still that angry over our convict past that we hate anybody who might be a step above us? (Even if it’s only a perceived step)

If you really don’t like reality TV, then don’t watch it. Go watch your high brow ABC or SBS series. Sometimes people want to just switch their brains off and enjoy something silly. Hence, why there are so many reality TV shows these days. Don’t kid yourself, MasterChef is a form of reality show. Most travel shows are a form of reality. Then there are actual reality shows, like the Kardashians, (who Aussie’s seem to love) there’s Jersey Shore, and now, there’s even Mrs Eastwood and Company. That’s right folks, Clint Eastwood, Actor and Director Clint Eastwood is on a reality show. I think when Clint Eastwood starts doing reality TV, we need to accept that it’s just a part of accepted mainstream television.

I also don’t like the famous for being famous cliche. Reality TV is just as much work as making a scripted TV show. Probably more. If you’re on a soap or drama, you go to work, film, then go home. You get to leave the cameras behind. Reality TV on the other hand means having a cameraman with you about 12-18hrs a day. There is no going home and unwinding. You’re always working. Even when Kim Kardashian goes on vacation, she’s working. Personally, I think being that famous would suck. What’s the point of having enough money to go anywhere you want if once you get there you can’t leave your hotel room because you’ll be mobbed?Plus, none of these people are actually famous for simply being famous. There was a reason they got a reality show in the first place. They didn’t just go out and pick some random off the street and decide to give them a reality show.

Anyway, back to Lara. Unlike Kim, who became famous for being friends with Paris Hilton, her dad representing OJ Simpson and then making a sex tape, Lara was a model who was the international face of Australia. Sure, she’s had some questionable relationships, and some other incidents. But if we’re honest, which one of us hasn’t fucked up at one time or another? The only difference is that most people don’t have their mistakes shown on national TV or the cover of the newspaper.Most people probably couldn’t handle that kind of scrutiny either. I was amazed at her control when interviewed on The Project or B105. I wouldn’t have been that polite….

Power to Lara. If she can make money at being herself, then why not? If you don’t like it, don’t watch it. Just don’t be a douchebag and act like you’re so intellectually superior that you think there’s no need for Being Lara Bingle and that it’s the downfall of society. Not everything has to be mentally stimulating. Sometimes, we just need a good laugh.

So Lara, good luck with the show. Milk it while you can. I hope they sell it to the US so I can watch it over here.

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The New Idea Article

New Idea Article

Here’s the New Idea article for those that missed it. The guys in the photo are not in my unit, they’re all Public Affair Officers. We were at a conference with the National Guard that weekend.

My home unit now has 3 Aussie in it! One day I’ll post pics of us all together on here.

NI1512_MONAHAN

^ Click on the link above to see the PDF version. It’s much easier to read.

I’ve really enjoyed the Guard. I’ve even got 2 ribbons already! Now I just need to get a dress uniform so I can wear them.

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The Power of Social Media

Make friends in Minutes.

When I was a kid, I had penpals. The kind you had to actually use a pen to write to. Then, you’d send the letter off, and a few weeks later, you’d get a letter back. Sometimes I miss the days of real letters.

I’m also very grateful for new technology. If it wasn’t for Facebook and feeling like I’m still a part of the lives of my friends back in Australia, I think I’d be a lot more homesick. I love that I can read the Australian newspaper everyday and I love that there’s an app for the 2DayFM radio station so I can listen to Aussie accents here. I enjoy watching the Aussie news over the internet, even if it is in small 3 minute blocks.

When I’m having a bad day, I can email someone and get a response back and feel better in minutes. When Corey Feldman did his interview, it brought back a lot of memories and some heavy emotions. Then I got an email from another child actress. She had famously gone public in the US and pissed a lot of people off. She had been following my case in the media, and another friend on FB put us in touch with each other.  She wrote me a couple emails and put everything very matter of factly. In the first email she talked about the balance of power in assault cases. She called it “sexual abuse vs fame public reaction mathematical algorithm” The public’s belief in and support of a victim of rape/sexual abuse is directly proportional to the fame and “likeability” of the victim, and inversely proportional to the fame and “likability” of the perpetrator. In other words, when a victim goes public with her story the response she receives will have nothing to do with the severity of the rape, number of occurrences or age at when the crime occurred. It will be based solely on her fame/power vs the fame/power of her perpetrator. She had several examples, and it was kind of a downer, because I’m not the famous/rich one in this case….

Her second email however was like a revelation and has helped me tremendously. Also: Something to remember – that I had to learn – is that the apprehension, conviction and incarceration of your perpetrator is NOT actually YOUR responsibility. It is the responsibility of law enforcement.

But remember, when people attack you for speaking out: any trouble the bastard is in, is entirely HIS doing. You didn’t “get him in trouble” – HE DID when he started assaulting children.

By the same token, when those on your side harass you to do more, you are not on call to “put him in jail”.  You called the cops, it’s THEIR job to put him in jail.

This was the most empowering thing anyone has ever told me. It lifted the weight off me. She was right. I had done my duty and told the police. I gave them my statement. I invited them into my home in Texas and continued the investigation here. When they email me or call, I answer them the best I can. A lot of people may not agree with the way the investigation started, but it was MY journey, not theirs.

I have been laying low in Texas since the investigation started, because I was told I should. It was “duty” to go crawl back under a rock till it was over. I had to make sure there was a conviction. If I didn’t stay quiet, it was my fault if the case for the other girls didn’t pan out.

I’m sorry, but it’s NOT my responsibility. I will do my best to help the police in any way I can, but I’m not going to stop posting on my blog, or be social on twitter, or talk to people on FB, or have conversations with people in real life just because there’s an investigation underway. I don’t know how long it could take. Nobody does, and people can’t realistically expect me to withdraw for years if it drags out that long. As long as I’m not talking about the investigation, there’s no reason I can’t also be an active member of social media.

Meanwhile, in the twitterverse, I think we’ve all been following what’s happening with Andy. His blog is now down off the internet, and he’s currently hiding hoping things will blow over. I’ve been amused that people have been so upset that I was quoted in the Sun as having laughed when I saw Andy in there. With the way Andy dishes on others, he has to expect that people give it back. And apparently he does. I got this PM from him this morning after someone called me a “nasty piece of work” on Twitter.

I’ve had some really interesting conversations with people over the last few days thanks to Social Media. It’s nice to be able to communicate instantly with people all over the world, instead of waiting till it’s already old news. That being said, I would still caution people to be careful what they say on the Internet. It’s easy to take things out of context. Sarcasm doesn’t convey well in 140 characters. You can still be taken out of context. Private doesn’t really mean private. Andy used to love grabbing screenshots on my PM’s to him, as I have done above. But, it also lets you communicate instantly and be able to check in on someone and make sure they’re OK.

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