Heal for life

Mayumarri – a Magical Place

Back in March, I made a short trip home to Australia. It had been a while since I had been home, except for quick fly in fly out things that weren’t a lot of fun.

Australia didn’t feel like home anymore. It was a place where I had grown up, but I didn’t have the most normal childhood, or the most enjoyable one. When I moved to Texas, at first it felt foreign, but I started to feel at home. I started to let myself live my own life, where nobody knew my past. Nobody judged me as being some has been former child star. I was just Sarah.

Right as I was really starting to form a new life here, and I was slowly working on moving back to being comfortable with cameras, I had found a passion in making a new series, Going Down, I was contacted about coming back to Australia and talking about my old life.

At first I said no. I thought I was moving forward. I didn’t want to go back. A few months later, I was asked again. I said no, again.

Then I was teaching acting classes, and I had a mother ask me questions about the industry. There was an incident with her daughter. Hearing the story made me so mad. Matt said he had never seen me so angry. It was like every piece of anger and hurt that I had buried from my childhood came bubbling up, all at once.

I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know how to fix it. But this time when I was contacted about talking about my past, I thought even if I have to go back, even if it means letting down the facade of being “just Sarah” something had to be done. Somebody had to stand up and say something. Somebody had to be willing to stand up and tell people what the industry is really like.

Now, I really didn’t expect what happened next to happen. I had spent years in Australia being told I was a nobody now. Just another washed up has been former child star off some sucky sitcom from the 80’s. I honestly thought it would be a miracle if anybody read the story. I hoped a couple stage parents might see it and think twice about letting their kids in the industry. I purposely didn’t name who it was, because I didn’t want it to be about me and him. I wanted it to be a story about what can happen to ANY child in the industry.

Well, I miscalculated. Apparently people read the story. Then all hell broke loose. It became bigger than me, and I wasn’t in control of it. All of a sudden there was people at my house, then I was on a flight to Australia. It all happened so fast. I was being pushed and pulled. I was once again being told what to do. It seemed like everyone was talking about it. It was on the news, in magazines, the in flight newscast. Basically, it was insane.

It also made Australia seem like a scary place again. Everybody there was judging me. They all knew who I was again, and everybody had an opinion. Most people didn’t have a nice one either. Everyone seemed to think I had some kind of ulterior motive; That I only spoke out to revive my career, or make some money. I’ve since noticed that happens anytime someone speaks out. Nobody wants to think that maybe there really are Pedophiles out there, and it’s easier to knock the victim, than admit bad things happen.

After all the media hoopla, and my life was completely changed, and I didn’t know who I was anymore, I thought about the few people who had actually taken my side during the ordeal.

There was Hetty Johnston and Bravehearts. There was several people behind the scenes. Then there was Liz Mullinar. She had been the casting director for Hey Dad, and she had been on TV several times to talk about what she knew.

I hadn’t seen or communicated with Liz since I was a teenager. But I felt the need to write everyone a letter and thank them for standing by me over the last two years.

I wrote to Liz, and she wrote back. She asked me if I would accept her invitation to come to Heal For Life. She knew how hard this journey was, and wanted to make sure I was going to be OK. I had read about Heal For Life. It seemed like an awesome place, and I had wished I was in Australia to attend it. There was several programs to choose from. Liz invited me to the private retreat, or the regular healing week. Something told me this was something I really needed to do. You know how the little voice inside you just screams sometimes? So, I worked out when I could get leave. I knew I had enough frequent flyer miles to do the trip. I just had to work out when there was a healing week and flights….

So in March I finally made it back to Australia. Funnily enough, it was the one week of the year that Liz wasn’t at Heal For Life. She was on a cruise with her sister, but it was still amazing.

My brother drove me up a long winding road out into the Hunter Valley. There was trees, and birds, and a whole lot of quiet. It was far away from the city, and any potential of anybody seeing me. I didn’t have to worry about any rogue photographers, or ending up in the paper.

Heal For Life was the most amazing thing I have ever done for myself. I arrived on Sunday afternoon, not knowing what to expect, and I left the following Friday as a completely different person.

Every morning we were greeted by kangaroos and wild birds. We got up and made breakfast, before starting our day of healing. There was a group of ten of us at that week. We were all apprehensive, and then we opened up. We realized we all had own own issues, and nobody else was going to judge us. It wasn’t like a group therapy session, where everyone spent an hour talking, and then had to go back to their normal life. This wasn’t like talking to a shrink, who just sits there and writes in a book, and doesn’t understand what you’re really going through.

All of the carers at Heal For Life are survivors themselves. They’ve been through the journey. They don’t judge, or give you a simple pat on the back and say “there, there, it’ll all be ok”. Instead, this was completely the opposite. You were encouraged to scream, shout, cry, talk, punch things. Do whatever you needed to do to let the pain out. We learnt about triggers, and what happens when we are triggered, and how to de-trigger. We learnt how what we went through as kids can affect our decisions as an adult.

I knew I was working stuff out when I decided to go swimming in the pond. Even though I scuba, I’m actually quite terrified of water. I’m fine with the air tank, once I’m under water, but fresh water, and being on the surface freak me out. By Wednesday, I was swimming around in the pond….

I’m not a crier, or an emotional person. I’ve always just pushed it all deep down inside. I learnt to cry at Heal For Life. I learnt to let my emotions out, instead of just bottling it all up. Even my masseuse has noticed the difference. I no longer have giant knots in my back.

When my brother picked me up, we had a long hard talk. We talked about things I never would have talked about before. And I was fine. I had already worked out so many issues, I could handle our conversation.

Before Heal For Life, I wasn’t sure if I could handle coming back to Australia again. Now I miss it. It feels like home again, like it no longer only holds bad memories. It also made me realize I was strong enough to get through the next year, and going to court. I know there will be bad days, but now I know how to respond to those moments, and move past them.

Heal For Life made me a better person. It made me strong, it made me happy again. I wish everyone who had been through some kind of childhood trauma could go there.

I can never thank Liz Mullinar enough for creating Heal For Life, and for inviting me to come down and experience it. It has completely changed my life.

I encourage anyone who needs to heal to look into attending a healing week. It seems scary, but it really will be an amazing thing to do for yourself.

www.healforlife.com.au

July 30, 2013

Help Bravehearts Raise $59,000

Cosmetics for a Cause

The countdown is on to the final day of our fundraising initiative with Cosmetics for a Cause (Dollar Cosmetic Club) with all products to go under the virtual hammer in a mega online clearance sale. That means big brand cosmetics for just $1 at auction as part of the finale of the 1in5.org.au campaign. Then from 3pm-6pm, more than 30 products including top range items from Estee Lauder, Maybeline, Revlon, Covergirl and L’Oreal will go online in an extravagant hamper sale not be missed.

Thanks to Dollar Cosmetic Club for your support and everyone who has got behind the campaign and now has a stellar collection of brand name cosmetics. For those who haven’t – It’s not too late.

All money raised will go towards educating, empowering and protecting Aussie kids.

SHOP HERE

July 1, 2013

What is wrong with courts in Australia?

When rapists are let off, and journalists are jailed…

There was an awful story in the paper today about a girl who was raped for years by her father, she made it to court, and the piece of shit was let off by the judge on a good behavior bond. This man raped his own child for five years. He even raped her in the bed with the mother there. Yet somehow, the judge feels that he didn’t deserve jail time.

Even worse, this isn’t an isolated case. Time after time, Judges are not even giving the minimum sentence to rapists and child molesters. They are continually giving them a simple slap on the wrist, and then, once they’ve been to court, they are protected by the courts. The names and crimes are suppressed. The community doesn’t know who these sexual deviants are. They are allowed back into the community, where they are free to continue their predatory ways.

Meanwhile, people like Derryn Hinch, who dare to try to protect the community, by naming and shaming some of these people, gets sent to jail. He was arrested again last week, because he named a man who was on parole, and should have been back in jail. Instead, the man was out, and he raped and murdered another woman.

Can somebody please explain to me why somebody who rapes a child is allowed to go free, while someone who names a rapist is sent to prison? Where is the logic? Why do we keep protecting these people? Why are we so concerned about the rights of these people, who clearly aren’t concerned about the rights of their victims?

Something needs to be done. We can’t continue to allow sexual predators a free pass, while punishing those who try to make the world a safer place.

Side note: I wonder how a lawyer can feel so concerned for the rights of the victim in the above case, when the following day he’s representing somebody charged with rape? How can you honestly represent both sides of the debate? Can you really give your all to a victim of a rapist, and the next day argue that another rapist is innocent?

May 9, 2013May 9, 2013

Lower the age of consent?

When law people go crazy, or just get lazy.

A twitter friend today sent me an article from the paper, and as I read it, my jaw literally dropped, and I may have even let out an audible gasp. Go read the article, then come back here for my rant…

In the aftermath of the Jimmy Savile scandal, and with Operation Yewtree in full swing, Britain is finally standing up and going after a whole bunch of people who were previously untouchable. Which is awesome. Just because you’re famous doesn’t mean that you should be above the law.

However, one woman, British Barrister Barbara Hewson, thinks that it’s just a witch hunt, and the better thing to do would be to simply lower the age of consent to 13 and we should get rid of the anonymity for victims. There should also be a statute of limitations, and most of these pedobears should only be charged with a misdemeanor.

So I’m wondering if she is just lazy, or has no clue of the impact of sexual assault on it’s victims. I’m hoping she’s just lazy, and thinks that all these “old cases” are just taking up her valuable time, which she could be doing something more important to her.

A lot of people simply don’t understand the impact of sexual assault on victims. Some people are able to heal from the trauma. Others are just really good at hiding how hurt they are. Some people openly have problems, but most people don’t know why a person is that way.

Assault actually has physical changes on the brain. It can change the way people deal with life. It can affect all their future interactions with society.I wish more people would look into the physical and emotional effects of assault before they start spouting off bullshit like this barrister did.

Does she truly believe that serial offenders like Jimmy Savile should have been allowed to get away with it “because they’re old”? Just because someone has gotten away with a crime for 20 or 30 or even 50 years, doesn’t mean they should be pardoned. The victims have had to live with the effects of that abuse their whole life, while the pedo was out and about, enjoying life. I don’t care if a child rapist is 90 years old. If he committed a crime, he shouldn’t get to go to the grave a free man. He should face his crimes the same as if he’d been brought to prosecution a day after the event.

I’m also tired of people pardoning pedophiles simply because they’re in the entertainment industry. People like Roman Polanski are still happily working, and all these people keep jumping to his defense, because even though he drugged, raped and sodomized a 13 year old girl, he’s an artiste, so it’s ok. Even though he was charged, then fled the country to avoid jail time, and has managed to avoid extradition a number of times, people still want to work with him. I just don’t get it. You couldn’t get me in the same room as that man. I won’t watch any of his films. I certainly wouldn’t work with him. I remember an interview with Kate Winslet saying that when Roman Polaski asks you to be in his film, you don’t say no. I so wish I had been there so I could say, Why, because he wouldn’t listen if you said no anyway?

Old men of the entertainment industry, you have been put on notice. You are no longer safe. All of us are getting strong and taking back our souls. If you did bad things to kids, you’re probably going to get a knock on the door.

Right now, it’s Britain leading the way, and Australia is doing pretty damn good too. There’s a lot of former child stars, and current working ones in the US who are watching these cases very closely. It won’t be long before there’s a lot of arrests in Hollywood. Unfortunately, for the older people, there is a statute of limitations in the US. However, for the younger kids who are currently living it, they’ll know that the older actors and execs are no longer untouchable. They’ll find their voices, and they’ll start to speak out.

April 26, 2013

Could Kelly Osbourne be headed for AGT?

Kelly Osborne on her way to Australia

So Kelly is on her way to Australia, where she is going to be a columnist with Cleo magazine.

Australia’s Got Talent is also set to announce their 4th judge on Monday; the seat that was left vacant by Mel B. We all know AGT wanted Sharon Osbourne, so I wonder if they’re going with Kelly instead? Kelly is hugely popular in the US right now. She’s on Fashion Police on E! And is a regular at all the big events. Kelly would be a huge get for AGT. We know they wanted an international star, and the timing of her arrival is spot on the the announcement.

She is super sweet, so I guess she would balance out Kyle on the show. Guess we’ll have to wait till Monday and see….

April 25, 2013

Bravehearts Training Workshops

Bravehearts Inc.

Bravehearts launches new training workshops

Bravehearts has launched three new workshops to meet every level of demand in helping the community to understand and respond to Child Sexual Assault. The five tiers of workshops now available are listed below and will cover everyone from general members of the community to Child Care Workers, Primary Teachers, Support Workers and Psychologists.

Bravehearts now offer great incentives to organisations to implement specialist training into their staff induction and continuing staff professional development programs. Our workshops are delivered nationally.

Click here to download the latest workshop brochure or contact training@bravehearts.org.au for more information.

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April 23, 2013April 23, 2013

What would Ryan Lochte Do?

Ryan Lochte is not a winner.

Ryan may be an Olympic medalist, but he’s not a ratings winner. His show premiered on Sunday night in the US, right after the Ryan Seacrest interview of the Kardashians. It only rated 807,000 viewers, which is bad even by US standards. I watched it tonight, just to check it out.
Remember The Girls Next Door? Think how pretty they were, but they weren’t real smart. They were looking for love, but you had the feeling they just didn’t get they were looking in the wrong places. Kendra had that really distinctive laugh that was mildly amusing at first, but then got really irritating. Lochte has some really weirdly unintelligent things come out of his mouth, and he has this stupid catchphrase, “Jeah!” Which he is trying to get trademarked. I already hated the word from the commercials for the show. Hearing it over and over during the program made it very difficult not to just switch channels. Like the girls, he’s also trying to find love. He takes all the dates to the same restaurant and he looks like on of those college frat guys who has no idea how to talk to a chic. Just like a hot chic thinks her boobs are all she needs, Lochte thinks his medals will get him by. No intelligent conversation needed.
I can’t tell if Ryan is just trying to be funny and acting daft for the cameras, or if all the chlorine from the pool has seeped into his brain.
I know E! isn’t known for hiring people because of their smarts, but this one is a real dunce.

April 23, 2013

Splash

Dive in to Splash

So anyone who reads my blog knows I’m a bit of a reality TV tragic. I figure the format isn’t going to go away, so you may as well embrace it. Besides, some of it is interesting. A lot of scripted TV shows just don’t hold my attention anymore, or they become so predictable it’s boring.

So tonight, when presented with the choice of my old favourite NCIS, or reality selections including a Kardashian special, Hell’s Kitchen, The Voice or Splash, I started out on the Kardashians, well, mainly because I had been watching E! news and it just came on. That’s when I looked at the TV guide. 😉 Now since I’m not in the mood to actually pay attention to the TV, which NCIS requires, coupled with the fact that I can watch it again in repeats, preferably in a marathon on a lazy rainy day with my husband, I decided to give Splash another go.

Now, I know you’re all thinking I’m crazy. Yes, it’s a show about a bunch of kinda celebs diving into a pool. But I think Channel 7 may have been onto something when they picked this show up. I mean honestly, when the concept of Dancing With The Stars was first announced, how many of us were like, WTF? Really, a show about dancing celebs? Ballroom, Tango? Why do we care? But look how successful that show is. Well, Splash is kinda like DWTS, and here in the US, Splash is on at 7pm, and DWTS follows on the same channel at 8pm.

Now just like Dancing, you’ve got some TV types who are learning a new skill. One that’s way out of their element. What I didn’t expect was what a train wreck this show was going to be. You don’t really think of diving as a dangerous sport. However, there’s already been several people on the US version who’ve had serious injuries. Chuy, the little nugget from Chelsea Lately broke his foot in training. Last episode one of the guys overturned and smacked the back of his head and was really disorientated.. Tonight, someone flopped on their face and got a black eye. Seriously, a black eye. There’s lots of bellyflops and ouch moments. Let’s face it, we all like watching people hurt themselves. That’s why we love Jackass or those sports clips with all the car wrecks.

It’s also nice to see people who we think have everything show a human side. Kendra was terrified on the high board. She did the show to overcome her fear of heights, but it was too much for her. Some people made fun of her for not jumping, but I think a lot of people would back away on the 10m board. Just because you’re on TV doesn’t make you super human.

Just like DWTS, it’s about the competition, but it follows the same format of showing the rehearsals, and a peek into the personalities of the contestants.

If it’s got nothing else going for it, it’s on at dinner time and you don’t actually have to pay attention to it. You can have it on, and look up occasionally and know what’s going on. Let’s face it, sometimes we don’t want to have to actually watch, we just want some background noise on. After a long day at work, I don’t want to have to actually think when I get home and watch TV….

So make fun all you like of Seven’s upcoming Celebrity Splash, but I bet it rates well for the first couple weeks at least. If nothing else, people will watch the first episode to see how good, or bad, people look in their swimwear.

April 23, 2013

Shouldn’t talent shows be about the Talent?

Who is more important, the contestants or the judges?

I get that on some of these talent shows, the judges are super important. Especially shows like The X Factor or The Voice where the judges are also coaches. You really want high quality stars who can help mold and shape a contestants career. On shows like Dancing with the Stars, or even Celebrity Splash, you want judges who are technical, and who can actually judge the sport.

But then there’s some shows where I think you don’t necessarily need a big name judge, or even someone who is skilled in that area. For example, I don’t need to be able to cook an awesome apple pie to know a good one when I taste it. Maybe if you’re going to win a restaurant, you want a Chef as a judge, but a lot of chefs don’t actually run restaurants, they just cook there. Head chefs don’t even usually cook anymore. They just stand around yelling at people, or hide in their office. But do you need a model to judge models, or should you have a combination of judges? Photographer, agent, magazine editor, etc. It seems like on some of these shows they’ve got a variety of judges. Like Got Talent has a selection of people. Which is appropriate, because they have a selection of talents. It seems silly to only have singers as judges, if you’ve got dancers, jugglers, magicians and all kinds of other random acts. I get that the judges are also a big part of the show, and that’s why networks fight over celebrities and pay massive amounts of money for those sitting behind the desk. BUT, shouldn’t the talent be more important than the judges? They’re spending millions of dollars on judges, but the talent only gets paid if they win, and even then, it’s only a fraction of what the judges make. Yes, judges work every episode, and put their reputations on the line, but I think instead of fighting over Spice Girls and paying millions to steal them, get some lesser known judges, and maybe even unknowns, like actual talent agents, and put the focus back on the stage. When all these shows started, people like Ryan Seacrest weren’t famous. He had hosted several programs, but he wasn’t the megastar he is now. These shows made the judges and hosts famous, or at least revived the careers of several people. Wouldn’t it be awesome if these shows could also be a launching platform for the hosts as well? Rotate them out every few years so they can move on, and also to give the audiences something new.

People are whining about which judges are on what show, but I don’t think talent shows should really be about the judge. We already know they’re talented. If they weren’t, they wouldn’t be up there. We are all judging from home. Because I’m not getting a million bucks, does that mean I’m not allowed to have an opinion on if someone is good or not? Lets go back to focusing on why these shows exist; To showcase the new talent out there that hasn’t been discovered yet.

April 18, 2013April 18, 2013

Eeny Meeny Miney Mo

Will the next Spice Girl come on down?

Ok, so Mel B has been banned from joining Australia’s Got Talent. Now, the rumours are that Nine is in talks with Geri, aka Ginger Spice. Before Mel B was announced, everyone was trying to get Posh Spice to come to Australia.

Now, if you were Sporty or Baby Spice, would you feel a little put out that you’re name hadn’t been tossed around yet? Well, I guess Sporty is at least working with the Jesus Christ Superstar thing. Anyone know what Baby is doing? Maybe the next reality show that pops up will announce her. It seems like it’s de rigeur to have a Spice Girl at the moment.

All Power to the girls for being so popular. It seems like all the 90’s bands are having a resurgence. But can’t they work on the UK versions of these shows?

I don’t get why none of these shows want an Aussie judge. Of course, I look at Delta Goodrem on The Voice, and people are just downright mean to her. Aussie’s say they want an Aussie host or judge, but when they get one, they’re pretty disrespectful to them. Even Danni Minogue gets mixed reviews. It seems a little better for the men. Keith Urban, even though people in Australia aren’t big on country music, seemed to have a little more respect for him.

I can see why the foreign judges are all about doing it. You get to come to Australia for a few months, revive your career in a foreign market without your local people seeing it. That means that there’s no hate from your own local crowd. Back in your home country you can boast you were a judge on a major show, and hopefully then get a job for big money at home. Even the couple of Aussie’s, Keith and Danni are also working overseas. The UK versions of these reality shows have Danni, American Idol has Keith, so maybe it’s just a mixed bag of nationalities that play music chairs on all the versions of these shows.

So now we just have to wait and see who takes the last chair on X Factor and Australia’s Got Talent. Would you like to see another Spice Girl? Or would you like them to pick a total random? Do you care if it’s an Aussie, or you just want a big name star?