Real Housewives of Australia?

Putting the REAL back in reality TV

So they’ve just announced they’re going to make a Real Housewives of Australia. I’m not sure this is going to be a winner. Here’s why:

Australia is a large country geographically, but it’s very small population wise. People are worried about what their neighbours think. Here in the US, with a population of almost 300 million, people feel like they can go on Jerry Springer or Maury, look like total asshats, and its ok. They can just blend in to the huge population. With 300 channels, chances are unless Joel McHale sees it and makes fun of it on The Soup, nobody is going to see it anyway.

In the mornings, when I get ready for work, I like to put on VH1 and have the video clips running. When I get home and turn the TV on, there’s some shite show about Basketball Wives LA. It’s total crap. Most of the Real Housewives are too. It’s supposed to be reality, but it’s not. You can tell the producers are putting the women, who probably would never have met without the show, into totally unrealistic situations, and then purposely creating conflict, just for some drama. There’s always one person who the rest of the wives don’t consider rich enough, on the Atlanta version they’re all black except for the token white wife, who they all hate. Each series has one designated bad guy. I like to refer to them as the “Scott Disick” of each show . They may be perfectly nice, but they’re edited to look like total fuckwits.

Currently, on VH1’s Couples Therapy, which is a reality show about, funnily enough, Couples Therapy, they have one of the wives from Real Housewives from New York. She’s married to an Australian guy. They used to really like each other. Too much for the rest of the housewives… Now they’re in therapy trying to stay together. One of thee husbands on Real Housewives LA was painted to be such a dick, he killed himself. Now here’s where I see Australia is going to be different. Look at shows that are already in both countries, like Celebrity Apprentice.

The US version on Celebrity Apprentice is fiery. The celebs are loud and proud. They’re bold, and willing to fight. They’re all about making good TV while raising millions of dollars for their charities. Doing a show like Apprentice also gives their careers a boost. Whether they come across as nice, or total dicks, people get to know them. They get to be real for the camera. They might ham it up a little, but they’re not holding back. They’re comfortable with who they are. They know if they’re on Apprentice, they’re already famous and will keep getting work.

The Australian version was tame by comparison. Aussie celebs work in a much smaller industry. They’re very worried about their “brand”. I can’t remember how many times I heard that during the series. People who kept saying they were worried about their brand. That’s so boring. A person shouldn’t be a brand. A person should be a person. That’s why even though everyone hated Deni Hines, they loved her, cause she was real. She didn’t care about putting on a fake persona for the cameras. She just let it out. She would have been great on the US version. Vince on the other hand was totally boring. He didn’t make a single joke the whole time he was on there. Isn’t he a comedian? He wasn’t funny. He wasn’t anything. He was just blah. I loved Charlotte Dawson. She let loose. Julia Morris deserved to win the first season. She was everything a reality TV person should be. She didn’t ham it up for the cameras. She didn’t act like a bitch to create drama. She was just herself. She’s obviously a very nice person, and we got to see that. She won by being herself. It was great. Same with Dicko. He was the most real, and he won too.

When people watch shows with celebs, they want to get to see a different side of that person. They want to know who they really are. They want to see who that person is when they’re not playing a character, or doing a carefully presented interview. They want to get to know a person. Reality TV, when done right, is a great way for an audience to really get to know someone. If however, as a celebrity, you’re worried about your brand, or you feel the need to keep up an appearance on camera, then you shouldn’t do reality TV. It’s not real. More importantly, if you feel like you can’t show who you really are on TV because people may not like you, then you’ve got bigger problems. Maybe you need to go away for a bit and change yourself for real.

I got asked about doing the first season of Apprentice. My people didn’t think it was a good idea at the time, with the case still in the works. I swear like a sailor, I don’t censor myself, and I let them know I would be in it to win it. I didn’t care about “my brand”. I don’t have one. I’ve lived in America long enough, I wouldn’t be all sweet and fake on reality TV. I don’t care what people think about me. I’m comfortable with who I am as a person. I like me, my friends like me. That’s all that matters. What some random on the interwebs thinks about me doesn’t affect how I carry myself in interviews or while out in public. I wish more people who were asked to do reality TV would have the same attitude.

So, I hope while casting the Real Housewives of Australia, or any other reality shows in Oz, they try to find people who are willing to be themselves. People who aren’t going to become a character for the cameras. People who won’t self censor. People who are interesting because they just are, not because they try to be.

November 8, 2012

Witch Hunt or Fourth Estate?

Media Coverage of Child Abuse

This week I’ve noticed there’s a lot of coverage of child abuse cases. While the fact that so many kids are being abused makes me sad, I’m thrilled that it’s now making front page news. Over the last couple of years, it’s become more and more acceptable to talk about it, to cover it. To acknowledge that it happens.

We’ve come a long way in the last 2.5 years. When I went public with my story, people were furious. He wasn’t named, and I was told to name and shame or STFU. Then, he was named, and people were furious. Couldn’t win either way. At least he’s alive to defend himself…. (Looking forward to that!) The last few weeks, nobody seems to have any problem with Jimmy Savile being named, even though he’s dead and can’t refute the claims. I wonder if people are ok with it because we’ve come that far in the last couple years we now actually believe girls when they speak up, or if it’s because he’s just so obviously creepy there’s no doubt, or if it’s because he’s dead and doesn’t have to live with a possible tarnished rep.

No matter, I’m thrilled to see the media covering abuse. I’m so glad I was a part of that. I hope there’s lots more cases where people can use that medium to get justice, when they’re not being listened to in other avenues. I don’t think it needs to be just famous people either. Regular people should have the ability to be heard too. People might call it a media witch hunt, but if nobody will listen to you, or worse, it’s getting repeatedly swept under the carpet, the media can be an important tool. When you’ve been silenced for so long, seeing your words everywhere can be very powerful and healing.

Plus, I bet if a kid told their predator they were going to tell not only their parents, but the newspaper, it’d stop pretty quick….

October 30, 2012October 30, 2012

Creating our own monsters

What happens when you make someone untouchable?

Tomorrow is Halloween in the US. Its a time when all the networks show scary movies. People dress up as ghouls and goblins and other frightening fare. The last couple years outfits like Priests with altar boys attached have started surfacing….

Hollywood makes lots of scary characters. Untouchable demons. Hideous creatures that terrify children. I was most afraid of Stephen Kings It. I couldn’t walk over a storm drain for years and had a fear of clowns. Years later, I watched It again. It was cheesy and no longer terrifying, but I could see what scared me. The undercurrent of predation on small children.

stephen-king-it-tim-curry — It talking to kids from the storm drain

FreddyKrueger2010 — Freddy Krueger. Wes Craven thought a child molester was scarier than a child killer...

A couple years ago, they remade the Freddy Krueger movies. We went to see it at the cinema right after I went public. I didn’t know that Wes Craven had changed Freddy from being a child molester to a pedophile. It was very weird watching it while going through all the hoopla. It was very emotional. Wes said when he originally wrote the films, Freddy was meant to be a pedophile, but the studio didn’t like it, as there was a series of high profile cases of molestation at the time. When they re-did it, he made it the way he wanted it, saying that a child molester was the worst thing he could think of.

But what happens when studios create real life monsters? Or when society lets people develop into an untouchable persona?

People wonder how it can be that people like Jerry Sandusky or Jimmy Savile could have molested so many kids and gotten away with it for so long. The problem is, as a society, we’ve created these monsters. We’ve allowed them to operate untouched. We’ve given them access to our kids and let them know it was OK for them to do it.

r-JERRY-SANDUSKY-large570 — Jerry Sandusky. People knew he was raping young boys, but he was still untouchable.

Look at Sandusky. He was in football. He was built up to be this greater than life human. When someone stepped up to say maybe he wasn’t so great, they were hushed. They were told not to rock the legacy. Which just made him even more powerful. It gave him a power trip to know he could get away with it.

Jimmy Savile was some creepy looking dude with bad teeth. The studios built him up to be an icon. Along the way, as he was molesting girls, anyone who dared speak up was shut down. They were told he’s Jimmy Savile. That’s just part of his persona. Which just made him even more untouchable.

Roman Polaski raped a young girl. Violently. He was

supposed to do time, but then fled the country. However, all these useless Hollyweird types keep insisting he should be forgiven because he’s an artiste.

There’s another guy called Victor Salva. He was sent to prison because he’d been busted filming himself during acts of oral sex and rape with a 12 year old boy, but he was allowed to work with kids again, making movies like Powder, for Disney. Yes, the same Disney that’s aimed at kids and has a whole spate of pedophile rumors swirling around them.

Outside of Hollywood, society does the same thing. Instead of cutting someone down while the allegations are fresh and before a person becomes untouchable, we build people up to become nightmares. People won’t dare question a priest who spends extra time with kids. Boy Scout leaders are just doing their best for their troops. Soccer coaches are just paying extra attention to the gifted kids. If the pedo is also into charity, like Sandusky or Savile, they’re built into Sainthood. You can’t speak out because you’ll be responsible for that charity not getting any money. Which the pedo works out is another great tool to blackmail his victims into not talking.

We need to stop canonizing Pedophiles. We need to stop thinking it’s ok for someone to be touching kids because they do good things for other kids. They’re not helping kids. They’re using them as a cover to get to kids.

People were so scared of Jimmy Savile that the full story didn’t come out till after he was dead. Meanwhile, he’d become such a larger than life figure that he’s gotten a medal from the Queen. People knew he was raping young girls and they kept it quiet because they didn’t want to ruin his image.

Jerry Sandusky was raping children in the showers and in his basement. But he was helping kids become footballers.

gary_glitter — Gary Glitter. Once a pop star to being arrested on child porn and molestation charges.

What the fuck is wrong with people? How about we start outing people before they get to that point where people are scared shitless to say anything against them. How about we not empower these predators?

Why don’t we stop watching films made by filthy scum like Roman Polanski? I don’t give a shit if he directs films. Give me a loud speaker and a crew and I’ll direct a film. I promise I won’t rape anyone while I do it.

What scares me the most in all these cases that are coming out is just how many people knew what was going on. So many people were aware of allegations, or had witnessed the abuse firsthand. So many people who were in positions where they could have said something. They could have put a stop to it. All these people were intimidated, and only contributed to making the pedophile and even bigger monster. They turned them into real life Freddy Kruegers.

September 15, 2012September 15, 2012

Is there no Aussie Talent?

Is there no Aussie Talent, or does Tall Poppy Syndrome mean Aussie’s need a foreigner to validate them?

Keith Urban has announced he is leaving The Voice Australia and it looks like he will be heading to American Idol. Who can blame the guy? He’ll probably earn about 20 times more on a US show than he would in Australia. He’s also at home in the US, since until The Voice, he was probably much more famous in the US than he was in Australia. He’s had a home in Nashville for many, many years. He was a household name, he’s well liked and respected. Until The Voice, the poor guy was better known as Mrs Nicole Kidman by people in his home country. The Voice gave Australia a great opportunity to get to know Keith. To know his music, to know him as a person. Keith finally got to feel some love from Australians. He finally had a hit in Australia.

Wouldn’t it be awesome if Australian producers gave that same opportunity to another Australian artist?

The Australian psyche is complex. They like the “Little Aussie Battler”. They like the underdog. They like people who are almost famous. But as soon as that person becomes successful, they’re suddenly too big for their boots. They’re ostracized. They’re no longer loved. Then, feeling like they’re no longer welcome by Australia, that person will move overseas and climb the ladder again. While they’re doing it, that person is a “sell out”. Then, when they make it big overseas, all of a sudden, they’re once again LOVED by Australians. All of a sudden, they’re one of ours. They’re making Australia proud. They’re representing! Remember Kylie Minogue in the early 1990’s when she won 4 Logies? It was like overnight, people hated her. There was such a backlash. Then, she went overseas and made it huge in England. She made an impression in the US too. Then, she was a huge hit with Aussie’s and everyone wanted to claim her as their own.

I am also amused by the people who aren’t born in Australia but grew up there, who then move overseas. Think Russell Crowe. When he fucks up, he’s a damn Kiwi. When he’s winning an Oscar, he’s an Awesome Aussie. Actually, Keith Urban was also born in New Zealand…

australias-got-talent Then, we’ve also got an obsession with needing to be validated by Stars from overseas. Can you think of a Logies that didn’t have some international guest? Even for the races like the Melbourne Cup, or something as mundane as a Nightclub opening, they’re flying in some special guest from overseas. Even Excess Baggage had Kevin Federline. Seriously people, how bad is it when you’re importing Kevin Federline? Even if they do fly in an Aussie, they treat them differently. Fly in an American, well, they get a first class ticket. Flying in an Aussie, they get coach… Why the need to roll out the red carpet for foreigners, but not for your own?

The X-Factor has Mel B and Ronan Keating. The Voice has Seal and Joel Madden. Australia’s Got Talent has Brian McFadden. Even that Everybody Dance Now had Jason Derulo & Kelly Rowland. Maybe that one would have lasted longer if they had at least one Aussie on there….

Ok, it’s a global world now and people move around and work in other countries. But it seems like each show is only half Australian talent and half guest worker. Now that Keith is leaving, the names they’re throwing out there are ALL foreigners. Is there seriously no-one in Australia that could take his place? Is there no Aussie singer who wouldn’t be fabulous as a judge/coach? Is there not an Aussie who could step up? Even if you did like they did with Keith Urban, and brought an Aussie back from overseas to work on the show. Let Australia get re-acquainted with an old friend. Let someone who had moved overseas to be successful come home and feel the love.

Australians need to let go of the Tall Poppy Syndrome, and start showing some love for one of their own. Australians are talented. They have personality. They’re quite capable of being a judge or a host on an Australian show. I hope they pick another Aussie host for The Voice. I hope as people leave these shows, they start filling their places with other Aussie’s too.

September 13, 2012

Middle Class Outrage

Middle Class Outrage & First World Problems

As I read through twitter, and I’m amused by pictures of peoples cats, read through news links and see people’s sandwiches, I’m also struck by the amount of outrage over petty stuff. At least most of those people know they’re being wankers by putting the little hashtag #FirstWorldProblems Then there are the people who are genuinely upset over things. Normally things that irritate me. Maybe that’s why their tweets stick out. So it’s my turn to be outraged on the internet. Oh, the irony,

I’ve learnt a few things in life. Some because of situations I’ve been in, others because of my work. Others because they should just be common sense.

Two things that strike me the most, besides the amount of absolutely worthless people on Twitter who obviously have nothing better to do all day that to cyber bully people, is the amount of whining that people do about stuff they could probably just go out and fix. Or at least do something other than sit on the computer all day and complain.

I understand not everyone is given access to all the information they need to make an informed decision all the time. However, usually a little Googling will give you some knowledge. I for example, work in Border Security. I don’t get to carry a gun and sit on the line like others in my facility do. Instead, I’m a desk jockey, writing reports, working with intel and watching the cameras. I get to call the guy on the line and give him a heads up about what’s coming. I understand I get access to information that gives me a completely different opinion than most on what goes on on a border. It’s not all refugees seeking a better life. It’s not all poor Mexicans coming to pick lettuce. For the most part, it’s not even Mexicans. It’s drug and currency runners, and other people who are running the border because they can’t get a visa because they’ve been deported 3 times for rape or murder charges. So when I read tweets about those poor, poor people who are just looking for a better life, I’m a lot more skeptical than most. I know why people don’t apply for visas. I know why people pay people smugglers. I know why people “loose” their documents. What pisses me off more though than middle class folks who want to complain about the big bad government protecting their rights by wanting immigrants to go through proper channels is how people complain about their government. Your government is protecting you. They’re trying to make sure the person who was already busted on 5 felonies who then escaped isn’t coming back to kill your kids. They’re making sure they’re not terrorists trying to pass themselves off as refugees. Also, if you’re so damn upset about the rights of said refugees, you could do something about it. Instead of complaining on twitter, or writing some snarky blog about how awful things are, get off your arse and go do something about it. I wonder how many of the complainers have bothered to go sign up and do some volunteering? When I lived in Australia, I went and did a course at TAFE that certified you to teach ESL to new migrants. It was free and only took a couple of days a week. Here, I joined a medical unit in the guard. Every year, they do a big trip to the border where they provide free medical care to people who can’t afford it. It’s right before school goes back. They give free shots to kids and adults. They do health screenings for the adults. They provide translators for those who can’t speak English. It’s all free. The people in the Guard don’t get paid. They sign up because they want to give back to their community. When there’s a fire or hurricane, the guard goes out and sets up shelters. They provide food, shelter and medical care. Instead of complaining on twitter, go join some organization that actually does something to help people.

Then there are people that complain the other way. If someone says something, like they were bummed they couldn’t afford the new iPad, some other internet hero will lambast them with how other people are starving in 3rd world countries and they shouldn’t be complaining about a lack of an iPad. I wonder if these people have ever lived in a 3rd world country. Not just visited some tourist town, but actually lived. I spent a year in Honduras. It’s the 2nd poorest country in the Western World (behind Haiti) and has the highest murder rate in the world. People there might not have had solid walls, but they all had cable TV…. People who wanted to work found work. Even if it was pushing an ice-cream cart. Others just wanted to sit at home and watch novelas all day and send their kids out to beg for money. Yes, Honduras sucked. However, if you choose not to get a job, I choose not to give your kids money on the street. I don’t need some middle class suburbanite telling me I’m an awful because I choose to have a job and choose not to hand over my hard earned money to someone who watches TV all day. If I want nice things, and I work hard to buy nice things, I shouldn’t have to feel guilty for it.It’s not much different on the south side of San Antonio. People come to the mall with their kids. They’ve got tattoos all over. They’re wearing a bunch of gold. They’re paying cash for perfume. Their kids have black teeth. Those people will complain the can’t afford to take their kids to the dentist. They can, it’s just not on their priority list.

Lastly, I want to touch on Needs, Wants and Rights.

People just can’t seem to grasp the difference between a need and a want. Just because you want something, doesn’t mean you need it. When I worked promos, the amount of people who told me they needed another sample, or shirt, or free trinket amazed me. They’d say, I need another one. I need it for my sister, and I need another one for my Aunt, and one for my cousin. If I run out, they’d say, well give me your shirt. Seriously, I had people who literally wanted the shirt off my back. I’m giving you something for free, which you’re either going to throw away, or go around the corner and sell. It’s free shit. It’s not stuff you need. Same thing applies for that cute designer handbag, shoes or any other luxury item. Needs are basic stuff, like shelter, food, water. Then there are rights. A lot of people need to read up on what their rights really are. Or what other peoples rights are in other countries before they start complaining.

For example, the US is not a signatory on the UN refugee program. They don’t have to take anyone as a refugee. Australians are not guaranteed the right to free speech. People seem to think because something applies in one country, it’s true for ALL English speaking countries. No country has to give you a tourist visa. It’s up to that country to decide if they want to let you in or not. Just because you want to visit a country, doesn’t mean you have a right to.

Lastly, there’s Need to Know. People seem to think they have a right and a need to know everything. Just look at the Wikileaks fanatics. Actually, people don’t have a right or a need to know everything. Especially when it’s sensitive information that could put other people’s lives in jeopardy. Just because you’re interested in knowing the details of something, doesn’t mean you have the right to hack somebody’s computer and find out. (Or hacking their voicemail) Your interest in a subject is not more important than making sure justice is done. It’s not more important that keeping other people safe. When the time is right, and it’s safe for everyone, information will be released. It’s not like Joe Public reads that stuff anyway. Shit, even most journalists don’t actually do any research on their own these days. For the most part, it’s the bad guys who are reading over the classified stuff. Yes, there’s plenty of stuff we get at work marked classified that I don’t think should be, I think it would be in the public interest for people to know. But where do you draw the line? It’s not my decision to decide what gets released and what doesn’t. I accept that there’s a reason it’s not being released. Just like my case. There are some details that have been released, and some stuff people will just have to wait till we go to court to hear about. Just because you’re interested in the details, doesn’t mean we’re going to spill the beans on everything before justice is done. Some things need to stay confidential till it’s over. I know that goes against my first point of educating yourself before ranting, but sometimes people just talk about stuff they have no business getting involved in. There’s also the hypocritical factor. Why is it not OK for News of the World to hack celebrities phones but it is OK to steal State secrets? Are the private messages of Hugh Grant really more important and need protecting than where a platoon of troops is? If you’re going to advocate for one, you have to accept the other.

Well, now that’s I’ve been that crazy person I’ve been bitching about, and I’ve vented and feel better, I’m going out. Tomorrow when I wake up and read twitter I’ll just tell myself everyone is being sarcastic when they tweet about shit, or they’re also just having a vent. If that doesn’t work, I’ll keep telling myself that ignorance is bliss and there’s lots of happy people out there.

August 17, 2012

Election 2012

Douchebaggery in Political Elections

The 2012 Election campaign is in full swing in the US. While there are in fact FOURTEEN people currently running for President of the United States, the media would have you believe there was only TWO people running – Obama and Romney.

I run in all kinds of circles, but most of my friends are big Ron Paul supporters. He ran in the last election as a Libertarian. Everyone loved him, but they all considered a Libertarian vote a wasted vote, so they voted Republican. This time, Ron Paul is running as a Republican, but the media has done their best to ignore his existence. They still want the American public to believe there’s only two options, Obama and Romney. Of course, by focusing on those two exclusively, they’re assuring they’re the only two people who get any votes on election day. It’s a self fulfilling prophecy.

What’s even more troubling to me than the media bias and their clear intent on creating the next President, is the actual candidates themselves.

I consider being a politician to be a job, or for some people, a profession. Now, most people when they apply for a job, write up a resume, a nice cover letter, they may do a few rounds of interviews. The better the job, the more interviews you’ll probably have to do. Some jobs you’ll have to do background checks, maybe a credit check. They’ll talk to your past employers, ask for references, you know the drill. Throughout this whole process, the candidate is talking about themselves. They talk about why THEY should be hired. They’ll tell potential employers why they are right for the job, what skill they have, why they are the best candidate. At no time do they talk about other potential employees.

Why can’t political elections work the same way? The Presidential position is a job. Their employer is the people of the United States. They’re asking us to give them the job. So just once I’d like to hear a Presidential Candidate talk about why I should vote for them, and not why I shouldn’t vote for the other guy. It seems like candidates have no good points of their own. They never tell me good things about themselves. All they do is tell me bad points about the other people, and the reason I should vote for them is because they’re less of a douchebag than the other guy.

This appears to be pretty universal. Politicians everywhere seem to have descended into this schoolyard mudslinging match of making everyone else look like idiots and liars, while not really saying anything special about themselves, except, I’m better, cause he sucks.

The US President also has the additional responsibility of being the Commander in Chief of the US Military. I personally think if you’re going to be the highest ranking guy in charge of a military, you should have some kind of military experience. At the very least, you should at least respect the men and women who are willing to sacrifice their lives when you decide you’re not adult enough to work shit out diplomatically and decide to declare war.

Now that I’m a US Citizen and I’m allowed to vote, and I have already done so in the Primaries, you can bet I won’t be voting for Obama or Romney. I’m not going to give my vote to someone just because they’re not as bad as the other guy. I’ll be giving my vote to someone who actually talk about themselves, and how they can make America a better place for Americans.

I invite all Americans to actually do some research on the 14 candidates. Don’t base your vote on what CNN or FoxNews tells you. Find out for yourself what the politicians are running for. What their intentions are. Who they care about. Make an informed decision. If you like someone, go out and vote for them. You don’t have to stick to the two who are paying the news to show their faces. If everyone voted for who they liked, instead of thinking of it as a “wasted vote” we might surprise some people and shake up the establishment.

July 22, 2012

Protecting the Guilty

What about the victims rights?

So when I went public with my case, there was a couple of things I wanted to achieve. I wanted to make parents aware of what really goes on in the industry, I wanted people to take better care of their kids, and I wanted to change some laws. That was over two years ago. I’m not supposed to be blogging or talking about the case. I’m supposed to be silent while the police are investigating. At first, it was frustrating. I had been asked to go public, I did. It turned into a media circus that I wasn’t prepared for. However, I found my strength, and made it through a couple of the hardest weeks of my life, and I found the courage to stand up and scream. Unfortunately, right as I found that courage, I was asked to shut up and go hide under a rock. At first I was pissed off. Why ask me to go through that, get me fighting, and then ask me to hide again? It was very frustrating. Occasionally I would break my silence, only to get angry calls from Australia, reminding me to be quiet. Eventually I simmered down. I’ve changed a lot over the last 2 years. I have found a quiet strength in myself I didn’t know I had. I’ve also learnt patience. I now figure I waited 17 years to go public, what’s a couple more years for the police to do a thorough job? Thankfully Australia doesn’t have a Statute of Limitations on rape or child assault cases, unlike the US. The Jerry Sandusky case took investigators 2 years, and that guy is never gonna see light again, so I’m ok with the wait. At least I got to scream his name out load. I got to tell everyone. I got to warn others of what he’s like. I also empowered many more girls to come forward and speak of their own abuse. I’ll never be able to express how awesome it is to receive emails from other girls who tell you that you gave them to strength to tell their own stories. Other women and men tell me that because I spoke up, they found the strength within themselves to tell their families of their own abuse. Many have been to the police and laid charges against their attackers. Some of them have even already been to court. Knowing you started a chain reaction makes you feel that you had a purpose in life. I still hope to change laws in Australia. I want to make the entertainment industry a safer place for kids. I want to make the world a safer place for kids. I would like Australia to set up a sex offender registry like we have in Texas. I want offenders to have their faces, names and addresses on a website where people can go and see if there’s any bad people living around them. I don’t believe any of the bullshit about vigilantes. We used the site when we had our exchange student so we could make sure she was safe on her way to school. We saw there was an offender on her route. We advised her to avoid going near that house. We showed her the photo of the guy so she would recognize him in case he tried to approach her. It wasn’t to scare her. It was just a self defense system. I use it when I’m on the road to make sure I don’t have some rapist next door to me, who seems nice asking for a cup of sugar…

I also don’t believe the crap about naming the offender will let people know who the child is. Considering that most pedophiles molest about 60 kids before they’re even caught, how could naming the one offender lead to his victim being known? The registry just has a general offense, such as lewd act with a minor, or aggravated sexual assault of a child. It doesn’t name the child. It doesn’t say whether it was a relative or stranger. All it does is warn others that the person is a threat and to keep their kids away from them.

I hope one day to also get rid of the stigma attached to being a victim. I hate the world victim. I am no longer a victim. As a small child, a very sick individual did bad things to me. That is in no way my fault. I tried to do something about it. I told other people. Unfortunately, some equally worthless adults, much like Joe Paterno were involved. The culture of the stigma surrounding child abuse led to the silence, and therefor allowed more abuse to occur. We need to teach kids it’s not their fault. We need to empower them to speak up. We need to stop treating people like victims and like they’re contagious. We need to help them find their strength again. We need to teach them that shit happens, and we’re going to help them get over. I have no doubt that what happened to me made me who I am today. I’m also sure that speaking up 2 years ago has changed me tremendously. I found my strength. I found my voice. I became a warrior.

So while I spend my days being a literal warrior wearing my uniform, and channel my energy into my job in a Law Enforcement Intelligence Center, which is great because I get such a buzz every time we send out a BOLO and we actually capture some predator, occasionally I read some article which makes me want to come out screaming again. It’s hard to be patient when I read shit like this:

US girl faces jail for naming attackers

A KENTUCKY teenager is facing contempt of court charges for tweeting the names of the two teens who pled guilty to sexually assaulting her, in a case that inspires questions about the uses of social media in the legal system.

Seventeen-year-old Savanna Dietrich tweeted the names of the boys in response to the frustration she felt over her attackers plea bargain.Now, Dietrich could face an $US500 ($481) fine and up to 180 days in jail for the act if she is found guilty of being in contempt of the court. Her contempt hearing is scheduled for July 30. According to Dietrich, the sexual assault occurred when she passed out at a party last year.

Her attackers then molested her, and they also allegedly videotaped the incident and shared it with their friends online.

After Dietrich visited police with her parents, the juvenile defendants were charged with first-degree sexual abuse and misdemeanor voyeurism, reports the Louisville Courier Journal. But Dietrich says she was extremely unhappy with the “slap on the wrist” plea bargain her attackers were given.

Enraged, she took to her Twitter account determined to publicly expose the boys for their act. “They said I can’t talk about it or I’ll be locked up,” one of her tweets read. “So I’m waiting for them to read this and lock me up. ____ justice.

“Protect rapist is more important than getting justice for the victim in Louisville.”

She reiterated in a Courier Journal interview that she was fully prepared to pay the price for her actions. “I’m at the point, that if I have to go to jail for my rights, I will do it,” Dietrich told the Louisville paper. “If they really feel it’s necessary to throw me in jail for talking about what happened to me … as opposed to throwing these boys in jail for what they did to me, then I don’t understand justice.”

Here’s a girl was was attacked, the guys taped it and posted it online. So not only did they violate her originally, but then she was humiliated again by having it shown to others. She went to the police, and the guys were given a slap on the wrist. So she goes public, and names her attackers, who one would assume would already be known, given they themselves used public domain to share their video of the attack, and she’s the one facing jail?

What the fuck is wrong with society? If these douchebags are using the internet to share their attack, she should be able to use the same internet to shame them. Their names and faces are already out there. Give her the chance to reclaim her power, her voice. Let her vent. I don’t care if her attackers were also teens and should be protected. They’re not going to turn 18 and suddenly become model citizens. They’re going to go off to college and prey on girls at frat parties.

We need to stand up as a society and change the laws. We need to start protecting the innocent. We need to teach kids to protect themselves. We need to give those that have been victims their self worth back. We need to take it away from those that do wrong.

I’ve received emails from actors here in the US letting me know they’re following my case in Australia. Unfortunately the US has a Statute on childhood abuse. However, I’m pretty sure if my case goes well, you’re going to hear a lot more people stand up and start talking about their own abuse. Hopefully then the younger ones will feel empowered to stand up for themselves too. It sucks to be a test case, with the fear of letting people down, but it’s also wonderful knowing I’ve had a positive impact on so many people, and could change some futures.

June 23, 2012

Sundusky found GUILTY!

Jerry Sandusky GUILTY

Jerry Sandusky Guilty on 45 Counts

Jerry Sandusky, the former Penn State football coach has been found Guilty on 45 of 48 counts. We’ll have to wait a few months till he’s sentenced, but he’s probably never going to leave prison alive…

The Sandusky case while disturbing, was interesting to watch. I took a special interest in the case. It was such a public trial. He had been publicly accused, it was a small town, he was such a public figure. It would be interesting to see if all the publicity negatively impacted the case.

When jurors were selected, I was nervous. They all knew about the case. Over half of them were involved with Penn State in some way. Would they really be impartial?

I felt sad for the victims when it was announced they wouldn’t keep their identities a secret. The defense wanted to try to shame the victims and hoped they would back out of the trial if they were threatened with public exposure. Then, I was so proud of the News Media when they decided that they would choose not to name the victims. They were going to respect that they had been through enough and didn’t need the additional pressure of having their names and faces thrown out. While I have chosen to go public with my story, and am very glad it helped the other girls to come forward, I would feel awful if they were publicly named and they weren’t ready to deal with it in the open yet. I’m glad Australia chooses to protect the names of the victims, even if they are adults when they come forward.

At work we have a wall of televisions playing the news. The Sandusky trial has been huge. It’s been cross examined in the media, the motives of each of the accusers has been questioned, the integrity of those who witnessed it has been examined, psychologists even discussed whether his wife was in denial. It was interesting last night to see on HLN Jane Velez Mitchell talking about Sandusky’s son who admitted that he too had been molested and they questioned how he was able to discuss it on television and not in front of a jury. Well, this is one I can answer. Its one that so many people have asked about me too. I’m not afraid of a camera. It’s an inanimate object. It’s a machine. It’s a piece of equipment. While it may be filming, and you’re talking, you’re really only talking to a person, and then there’s this machine off to one side. You get to say what you want to say, and you’re done. It’s not like being on a stage, or in front of an audience. At most there’s 3 or 4 people in the room. The interviewer, a cameraman, maybe a producer. It’s their job to make sure you feel comfortable. I’ve had a camera around me since I can remember. It’s no big thing. On the other hand, going to court, speaking to a room full of people, questioning you, judging you, interrogating you? Now that’s scary. For me, giving my inital interview to Steve Jackson over the phone and then talking to Peter Stefanovic inside my home, easy. Flying to Australia by myself was scary. But when I went to talk to Tracy Grimshaw, who’s a lovely person, I had Stephen, my publicist, I had Simone, and then there was a skeleton crew. They tried to make me laugh, and I felt pretty safe. However, the thought of going to court, of having some lawyer question everything about me, make me feel like I’m the bad person, question my motives for coming forward, that I’m not looking forward to.

So even though people in Australia say that my case is all trial by media and how he’s going to get off because of a tainted jury pool, I’d like to submit the Jerry Sandusky case to prove otherwise. Here’s a guy who was most certainly all over the news. Not just for 2 weeks, but for the 2 years he was being examined by the cops (yep, the police investigated this case for over 2 years also). They’ve had so many people go on air talking about it, they’ve covered every piece of his life, his past, his dealings. They’ve accused the victims of coming forward for money, or simply to ruin the man. They had a jury who all knew about him and the case. They had all seen the news. Half of them had direct ties to the school. I honestly though he was going to somehow get away with it, having read all the negative things people had to say about my case.

Then, low and behold, the jury, even with all their knowledge of the case, even with being so close to it, they managed to listen to the facts that were presented to them, they listened to the victims, and they made their decision. They found the man Guilty.

My heart goes out to all the victims of this case. I’m so proud of the ones who took the stand and stood up for what’s right. I’m glad that even though the witnesses to the misdeeds who didn’t have the courage to speak against such a powerful man in the past had the balls to get on the stand and say what they needed to say now. I’m proud of the media who respected the victims and told their stories without having to name them.

This case has been a win for victims of abuse everywhere. It gives me hope that my case, and the case of many others going up against their attackers, will get a fair day in court, and come out the other side intact.

June 15, 2012

Why people secretly like Reality TV

Or at least why I enjoy reality TV

Today while reading news.com.au I came across an article by Chris Paine, a journo with a column on the Punch. He had written a post about Trashy Reality TV becoming his life. It was interesting to see a man’s perspective on reality TV, especially someone who was into macho football and drinking with the boys at the pub.

I used to enjoy watching the news. I loved it. I also loved NCIS, CSI, Law and Order, Lie to Me and House. I loved shows that make you think. When I had a day of dealing with idiots while working at a restaurant or in retail, I craved some intelligent viewing. I wanted to see what was going on in the real world. After going public I lost interest in Law & Order. Seeing Benson and Stabler nicely wrap up a case in an hour was irritating. The cast changed so many times on CSI, I didn’t like it anymore. House got to the point where we knew if it was 8:45, he was about to have his epiphany. Lie to Me got cancelled.

Now I have a job where we literally have a wall of television screens that are tuned in to every news channel and I’m constantly bombarded with the news, which is recycled every few minutes on each network, I like to watch something else. My job involves reading intelligence reports all day, scouring news sites and writing weekly reports. I work in a Law Enforcement Intelligence Center. I wear a military uniform. So now when I watch anything military or LE related, I am irritated with all the Hollywood bullshit that has no realism. Guys who don’t wear their uniform correctly, or leave their cover on inside. Cops who do stupid shit. Make believe scenarios like on NCIS LA where they have totally unbelievable technology that helps them catch the bad guy in 10 minutes.I also see a lot of dead people in my reports. Not gentle dead people. Violently killed dead people. Or usually, bits of dead people….It’s not pretty and I see it so much at work I no longer want to see it on TV. When I first got here and went to see a movie with one of the FBI analysts, I didn’t get the no-violence in movies preference. Now I totally get it. You can only watch so many execution videos before a movie like SAW or Hostel just isn’t appealing anymore. I can understand why lawyers hate law shows, and why medical people hate doctor shows.

So these days, when I need to switch off, I like to turn on E! Suddenly, Keeping Up With The Kardashians seems like fun. I love Tosh.O and Chelsea Lately. Fashion Police and who was wearing what to which awards ceremony is fun. At night at work, we turn on stupid TV. One of the guys has so many movies on his laptop and we plug it in and watch it. Today, before heading to work I was watching Mean Girls. I got to work and turned it on. None of the boys cared. They all watched it. Sometimes, you just need to watch something that has nothing to do with anything. It’s a way to switch off. Being deployed and away from my in-laws, and being an expat and being so far from my own family, watching the Kardashians makes me see that some people actually like their family. Mostly I think they like each other too much and could use some other people in their lives, but I get that they probably do have other friends, they just don’t want to be part of the show. But for half an hour I get to witness family time. I get to see people interacting. I get to hear family tell each other they love them. It’s something I don’t get down here.

Before you judge someone because they watch crappy reality shows, understand that not everything has to be super intellectual all the time. Life has to have some fun in it. If you have a fun job and crave high brow TV when you get home, great. If you have a super stressful job and silly TV gives your mind a break, then power to you. That’s why there’s so many different styles of show on TV. That way we all have something to entertain us and take our mind off life. Don’t tell people they’re stupid because they choose to watch Lara Bingle or Celebrity Apprentice. For people with stressful jobs, it’s much cheaper than talking to a shrink and better for you than unwinding with a 6 pack.

If you don’t like reality or silly TV, don’t watch it. Change the channel. But don’t demand it be taken off TV or spend all day on websites bitching about it. While you’re watching 4 Corners, I’ll be watching Fashion Police. I won’t judge you and I hope you won’t judge me in return.

June 12, 2012

Being Lara Bingle

Why So Much Hate Australia?

Since Channel 10 likes to geoblock, and nobody has posted it onto YouTube yet, I haven’t actually been able to watch Being Lara Bingle yet. However, since I do use Twitter and read the Aussie papers, even while being deployed with the Guard, I know that Lara Bingle has a reality show and that it started to air this week. I also know that there are plenty of haters out there.

I guess after all I went through in the last couple of years I shouldn’t be shocked by all the armchair heroes with internet access spouting hate towards anyone and everyone, but sadly, I guess I just still expect better from people and am saddened when I read so much bitterness and hate directed towards someone who is simply trying to live her life and be successful at it. When I read Australian papers and all the comments from the Aussie public, it actually makes me glad that I moved away. The Tall Poppy Syndrome in Australia was always ridiculous, but now it’s just sad. I’ve learnt to love America. It’s a place where people are encouraged to dream big and go for it. If you want to be an actor, a reality star, a business person or athlete, people will support you and encourage you and be happy for you if you make it. In Australia, everyone loves “the little Aussie battler” but the moment that person makes it, the minute they achieve their dreams, they become a pariah. They’re an arsehole. They’re a jerk. They’ve become too big for their boots. Are we still that angry over our convict past that we hate anybody who might be a step above us? (Even if it’s only a perceived step)

If you really don’t like reality TV, then don’t watch it. Go watch your high brow ABC or SBS series. Sometimes people want to just switch their brains off and enjoy something silly. Hence, why there are so many reality TV shows these days. Don’t kid yourself, MasterChef is a form of reality show. Most travel shows are a form of reality. Then there are actual reality shows, like the Kardashians, (who Aussie’s seem to love) there’s Jersey Shore, and now, there’s even Mrs Eastwood and Company. That’s right folks, Clint Eastwood, Actor and Director Clint Eastwood is on a reality show. I think when Clint Eastwood starts doing reality TV, we need to accept that it’s just a part of accepted mainstream television.

I also don’t like the famous for being famous cliche. Reality TV is just as much work as making a scripted TV show. Probably more. If you’re on a soap or drama, you go to work, film, then go home. You get to leave the cameras behind. Reality TV on the other hand means having a cameraman with you about 12-18hrs a day. There is no going home and unwinding. You’re always working. Even when Kim Kardashian goes on vacation, she’s working. Personally, I think being that famous would suck. What’s the point of having enough money to go anywhere you want if once you get there you can’t leave your hotel room because you’ll be mobbed?Plus, none of these people are actually famous for simply being famous. There was a reason they got a reality show in the first place. They didn’t just go out and pick some random off the street and decide to give them a reality show.

Anyway, back to Lara. Unlike Kim, who became famous for being friends with Paris Hilton, her dad representing OJ Simpson and then making a sex tape, Lara was a model who was the international face of Australia. Sure, she’s had some questionable relationships, and some other incidents. But if we’re honest, which one of us hasn’t fucked up at one time or another? The only difference is that most people don’t have their mistakes shown on national TV or the cover of the newspaper.Most people probably couldn’t handle that kind of scrutiny either. I was amazed at her control when interviewed on The Project or B105. I wouldn’t have been that polite….

Power to Lara. If she can make money at being herself, then why not? If you don’t like it, don’t watch it. Just don’t be a douchebag and act like you’re so intellectually superior that you think there’s no need for Being Lara Bingle and that it’s the downfall of society. Not everything has to be mentally stimulating. Sometimes, we just need a good laugh.

So Lara, good luck with the show. Milk it while you can. I hope they sell it to the US so I can watch it over here.