Rewarding bad behaviour

Teaching the wrong life lessons

This is going to sound like a stab at Lindsay, and it’s not meant to be, because I really still hope the girl can turn her life around. However, I just don’t see how that’s going to happen when people keep rewarding her for bad behaviour.

Fresh off her court appearance, and being sentenced to 90 days of “locked-in” rehab, there’s news she’s flying out to Brazil to earn 6 figures for a few appearances. There’s also speculation she’s going to Australia for a similar sum of cash. Now – power to the girl that she can still make money, and hopefully she’s actually using some of it to pay her bills. We keep hearing there’s a lot of them.

However, at the same time, I think we’re just teaching Lindsay that the more she fucks up, the more money she can make. They’re keeping her in the headlines, and keeping her front page news. She’s never going to start looking after herself if she can still make money, jail time and all.

It’s not just Lindsay either. The US has a bad habit of rewarding bad behaviour. Look at Paris Hilton or Kim Kardashian. Both made sex tapes and were rewarded with reality shows. People on shows like Celebrity Apprentice know that bad behaviour equals better ratings. There’s shows like Celebrity Rehab and The Surreal Life for stars that have gone bad.

Even worse though, is that if a celebrity tries to do good, they’re banished. Corey Feldman tried to speak out about the abuse he and Haim suffered, and he was immediately tossed into the oblivion bin. Turn to God and you’re put in the crazy basket. Decide to actually stop drinking, and you’re declared boring and you’ll die a slow “whatever happened to that person” death….

It’s OK to donate money to charity, or do a couple of events, as long as it’s all red carpet glamour. But if you actually decide to get serious and devote a good chunk of your life to a cause, prepare yourself to be thrown out of the working circle. There’s no faster kiss of death than being considered an activist.

I wish we would reward people for thinking about something other than themselves. Those who donate time and money, or who put their personal reputations on the line for a cause shouldn’t become Persona Non Grata. Instead, those who continually flout laws, hurt others, or who act as if no matter what they do, they’ll still have money to pay their bills, (but don’t) should stop being rewarded.

I’m worried about what we’re teaching the next generation.

Make yourself famous at any cost. Stay famous, no matter what it takes. Don’t worry about breaking laws – you’ll never actually do time, and you’ll still be raking in the big bucks.

Take a personal stand, try to do right by some other people, and be told you’ll never work in the industry again….

March 22, 2013March 22, 2013

Jerry Sandusky on NBC

What the Hell are NBC thinking giving a Pedophile airtime?

Jerry Sandusky, the Penn State coach who is currently serving a 30 – 60 year prison sentence for RAPING young boys, is getting an exclusive “In His Own Words” on NBC on Monday morning.

Who the hell thought it would be a good idea to give Jerry airtime? Why are we letting a convicted child molester go on air, to give “his side” of the story? Has NBC given any consideration to his victims, or the millions of other survivors of abuse and wondered what the impact of seeing this monster on air could do to them? I’m guessing he’s not going to go on air and admit he’s a dirty pedo and he’s deeply sorry for all the pain and suffering he’s caused.

People like him think they’ve done nothing wrong. All this interview is going to do is trigger a lot of people. It’s going to cause great distress. In the midst of the other rape cases going on now, especially the Steubenville case, where people are blaming the victim, this interview is just going to show people once again that as long as you’re some kind of sports hero, or famous person, or have the upper hand socially over your victims, you’ll still be loved and lauded, and the victims will remain in the shadows, taunted, scared and re victimized.

Why don’t some of the networks do some interviews showing the impacts of abuse. Show some documentaries of the effects of trauma. How it deeply impacts people for the rest of their lives. How it can effect all their life choices. Instead of giving a voice to this deeply perverted man who took the innocence of so many young men, why not help the cause. Help bring forth change. Stop contributing to the rape culture.

I’m ashamed of you NBC. I won’t be watching. I hope my friends will also tell NBC they won’t be watching.

March 21, 2013

People have no idea of the impact of abuse

People like John Laws set the whole movement back

I take back my comments about the print media making a big deal of the John Laws interview. After watching his interview on Today Tonight I’m just amazed at his arrogance. He doesn’t seem to think he was insensitive at all, and the only reason he apologizes is if he offended anyone, but doesn’t see why he would have. So, not a real apology. He just doesn’t get that saying “My God they were having a good time with you” was inappropriate, and he thinks the interviewer is asking a stupid question for asking him how he could say it. When asked about how he could ask if it was a child’s fault, he answers, “if she allowed it to happen”….. Seriously Lawsie? You think a six year old could “allow” it to happen?

I think my most amazed moment came in the original interview when the girl says that it finally stopped and Laws states that the dad must have gotten physically tired of her. Like he understood that a grown girl was no longer attractive to an abuser. That made my skin crawl.

I’m so glad Liz Mullinar and Derryn Hinch went on air to blast John Laws. While I was at Liz’s retreat, Heal For Life, they showed how abuse has actual physical effects on the brain. How it really can create a change in life patterns. How simply ignoring it doesn’t make it go away. Laws suggested to the woman she simply focus on work and husband, and don’t think about it. Sorry Laws, but that just doesn’t work. So many people are told to just move on, get over it. Do something else. You can’t move on till you’re allowed to grieve. You have to face it. Be allowed to talk about your feelings. Survivors of abuse don’t need dinosaurs like Laws dismissing their trauma. That doesn’t help a person to move on at all.

I hope the Royal Commission will bring about a change in Australia and let people know the true effect of childhood abuse on people. Maybe then people will be able to address the issue, get the help they need, without being dismissed, without feeling like they need stay quiet and hide in the shadows, or try to self medicate with dangerous substances.

In the meantime, I hope people let Laws know how big a dickhead he is by switching him off.

March 20, 2013March 20, 2013

The John Laws audio

Print media creating a storm over radio again

Here’s the audio from the John Laws interview http://m.soundcloud.com/sydneylive2gb/laws-raw

I should have listened to it before my last rant, but I saw the papers, and their selected quotes. It triggered a massive response from me. I acted before I thought.

I have listened to the first 5 minutes. I’ve only got my iPhone with me, and I couldn’t listen to the whole thing. However, while his questions could seem insensitive, especially when seen on paper, his question about “are you unattractive?” was in response to her saying her family told her to take her ugly pills. All his questions were actually designed to garner a self positive response from the woman, so she could answer, “No, it wasn’t my fault.” He was trying to let her take control of her past.

I think he could be interpreted as insensitive, at at times he kind of was, but sometimes it’s easier to answer when people ask straight questions.

I don’t get the print medias obsession with constantly trying to make radio personalities look like total douchbags. Don’t cherry pick quotes to make people appear evil. Put the whole transcript in there.

I’m glad this woman was able to escape her family and find a good husband. I’m happy she is able to talk about it. I hope she is able to heal. I hope she finds a place like Heal For Life who can show her than she can heal and move on.

Edit after listening to the whole thing: Lawsie could use some sensitivity training. The condesending tone at the end with the “Poor little thing, it must be hard to get over, I just don’t know” was off putting. The telling her to simply focus on other things wasn’t good either. However, the man is a radio host, not a psychotherapist, or even a counsellor. You can’t expect him to know how to handle every situation.

At least people are talking about it openly. That’s certainly a move in the right direction.

March 20, 2013

A Law Unto Himself

Are you fucking kidding me?

I’m sorry, but I’m really pissed off right now. At what point does someone think it’s OK to ask a person who was sexually molested if they were provocative as a six year old? When a caller rings you, crying, you don’t ask them a series of increasing demeaning questions. You don’t insinuate that it might be their fault. A SIX year old doesn’t flirt, they don’t bat their eyelids, they don’t invite people to touch them. They certainly don’t want men groping them, or getting their kicks from them. They don’t want a sick old man getting his jollies by touching them or molesting them.

If you, John Laws, think that a child somehow led men on so that they would molest her, then you need some serious help.

Please don’t compare this old man to Kyle Sandilands. I know everyone loves to keep bringing up the lie detector incident. However, and I’ve fought with many people over this, I don’t think Kyle was at fault in that incident at all. The mother of that child KNEW her daughter had been raped. She knew her daughter was in pain. But that bitch took her on air, and made her do the lie detector. I’ve listened to that tape. Kyle was in NZ at the time, and wasn’t in the studio. I think when the girl came out and said she had been raped, everyone was just stunned. Kyle just blurted out something. I don’t think he was being callous. I think he may have been genuinely wondering if it was just once, or if there was more incidents her mother should have known of, not asking if she had been sleeping around. I don’t think anyone in that situation would have reacted better. When his brain caught up to his mouth, he backed up, and quickly ended the segment, and offered the girl counseling. He didn’t ask more questions. He didn’t press on. He didn’t ask the girl if it was her fault, or try to insinuate that she brought it on herself. I know people love to hate Kyle, but this is one of those things I will not budge on. Kyle didn’t do wrong. That blame for that incident rests squarely on the girls mother. She knew. She hadn’t helped the girl before that, she didn’t help her through it. We can only hope she got help afterwards because Kyle and Jackie arranged it.

But John Laws just disgusts me. I hope every victim of abuse lets John know that IT’S NOT THEIR FAULT. Fuck you John Laws. Fuck You.

March 20, 2013

Thank you QANTAS!

Why I love flying the Roo.

If you follow me on Twitter or FaceBook, you’ll know I was back in Australia last week. I’ll write a different post about that later, but for now, I wanted to send a shout out to the crew of QF7, the flight from Sydney to Dallas on Monday, March 18.

I had used my American points to book my trip to Oz. It doesn’t let you book Premium Economy, which sucks, cause I really wanted to try that out. However, I saw a business class flight on the way to Oz, so I snagged it. I booked in economy on the way home, cause that’s all there was. I was happy to be able to try out QF8 and QF7, because the direct flight from Texas saved me about 16 hrs in layovers in cities like LAX.

So, Business class on the way over was amazing. There’s no First Class on this plane, and I got to sit in row 3. That’s the last seat inside the pointy bit. I had a headache getting on the flight because I had worked crazy hours, driven back to San Antonio, and was just exhausted. I got onto the flight, and they greeted us with drinks. Then came the prettiest little amenity kits with good stuff in it, including moisturizer and lip balm. Then, they brought everyone pajamas. They were super soft and comfy, and everyone seemed to change into them. They had little mattresses for the seats, and proper blankets, and a BIG pillow. They chair had it’s own pod, and a massaging seat. So after about an hour, instead of exploding into a full blown migraine, I was able to lay back, relax, and feel much better. I got off the flight in Brisbane, changed planes to Sydney, and was feeling awesome. I felt like all those supermodels and rockstars look when they get off a long haul flight.

So I had an awesome trip. But the last day, I started to not feel quite so awesome. It was just a little queasy thing after I ate, but it seemed to pass. So I get on my flight home. It was packed, and I had a middle seat. We got served dinner, and then it hit. I still don’t know if I had gastro, or food poisoning or what, but it was bad. Really, really bad. So after asking the cute French guy sitting next to me to move for the third time so I could go be sick, I hid in the back corner near the lav’s for a while. Unable to crouch anymore, I asked the flight attendants, who were finally eating their own dinner if, even though we’re not supposed to, if I could use their jump seat for a bit till the vomiting subsided. They jumped up, said no, it’s against FAA rules, but we’ll find you a seat. They found one in the bulk head right behind the toilet, where I could access it quickly if I needed. (and I did. A lot) They brought me blankets, some electrolyte solutions, a ginger ale, which I spilled all over myself and it looked like I had peed myself, so they got me some pajamas to change into. I had a wicked fever, and they kept checking on me and bringing me water and supplies. They were super caring and really took care of me. The staff really lived up to the new slogan, You’re The Reason We Fly.

Being that sick is bad enough on the ground, but being sick in the air is just miserable. I’m pretty good at gauging how long I had between each bout, and could time it to get up and in line and not make a mess in the aisle…. Thankfully at some point my stomach was pretty empty, and I could sip water and it didn’t come back up again, and they had me eat some fruit for breakfast, even when I said just OJ. After we landed, the boys saw me in baggage collection and checked on me again, commenting I finally had some colour back in my face.

I wish I had been well enough to write down their names to call Qantas and thank them, but here’s hoping they get this Thank You. You guys really did help me get through a really rough 15 hours.

Now, can I just borrow one of them to take care of me now while my stomach is still growling?

March 4, 2013

Crazy kids….

Beliebers and Directioners, what’s wrong with them?

Male singers and boy bands have always had legions of screaming fans. New Kids on the Block, Westlife, Boys to Men, even way back in the age of The Beatles and Elvis, girls were crying hysterically and fainting at the sight of their chosen singing Idol. Girls packed airports, hoping to catch a glimpse of their crush as they landed for a tour. They saved for weeks to buy tickets to see them in concert. Groupies devised ways to get a little closer to their chosen tasty treat. There’s all kinds of movies depicting what went on behind the scenes of bands that catered to the 18-30 crowd.

But I wonder if women were always this psycho and bitchy about bands, or if we’re only just now seeing it because of social media. Did our mothers threaten to kill another girl because Elvis smiled at her. Did we tell a girl to kill herself because Marky Mark said hi to her at a party?

It seems like every week there’s an article about Beliebers or Directions mass hounding someone because they went on a date, said hi to, or unbelievably, because they were retweeted… Yes, Beliebers are threatening death because a girl got retweeted and she wasn’t a previous fan.

Seriously girls, get a grip. I hate to break it to you, but no matter how much you think you’re in love with a singer, he’s probably never, ever going to go out with you. Even if you were to meet, the first time they see you flip out and go all cavewoman on another chick he’s talking to, he’s not going to just ditch you, there’s going to be some serious restraining orders against you.

Now, in some cases, singers do go out with regular girls. The Hanson brothers all married groupies, I mean, girls they met at concerts. Maybe boys these days are better, but it wasn’t long ago that singers would be married, but still be tapping everything they could on the road. Do you really want to be with a guy who isn’t faithful? I don’t care how famous someone is, if they’re not keeping it in their pants, it ain’t worth it. There’s way too many gross things out there that don’t wash off…

Then there’s the question of how are these kids on social media and issuing death threats without getting a serious whipping from their parents? Shouldn’t parents be monitoring their social media use? How are girls on Facebook and Twitter and just going all kinds of crazy? Parents need to be monitoring their children’s social media use. They need to explain to their daughters that it’s not OK to tell another girl to kill herself, or threaten to kill her because she was seen with a singer.

Parents should also be monitoring their kids social media for other reasons. There are just as many psycho cyber stalkers targeting these young girls as there are young girls targeting other young girls. While the girls are going crazy, there are devious men out there who will use social media to try to groom girls online. There are people who will hound a celebrity, hoping to get a message back, then make it look like they know a celebrity. The young girls will be naive enough to talk to the pervert, thinking there’s some connection there. In some cases, girls are kidnapped because they believe the creep and will agree to meet somewhere, thinking it will lead to meeting the celebrity.

Girls, if you have been contacted online by some perv pretending to be friends with a celebrity, it’s not real. Tell your parents. Tell the police. Remember you’re not the only one being targeted. The pedo is going to be trying to contact lots of girls, hoping one will fall for his bullshit. I hear of girls who don’t want to tell their parents when they’ve been contacted by someone online who turns out to be scamming them, because they’re worried about losing rights to social media. But I need you to tell people if this happens to you. You need to know you’re not the only one targeted, and someone else may not be as smart as you and find out before they get hurt. I know you’re fighting over trying to get to the boy, but you will feel terrible if another girl really is raped and killed because she believed a boy online could get her to a celebrity. Never believe someone who contacts you online pretending to be able to hook you up. If someone online engages in inappropriate conversation with you, take a screenshot of it, and show it to your parents. Parents, observe your kids online behaviour and make sure they’re not being targeted by internet predators.

Be nice to each other, and be safe online.

February 26, 2013February 26, 2013

Can bad celebs be good again?

Can Lindsay ever be A list again?

Remember when Lindsay Lohan was the IT girl? Everyone thought she was the next big thing? She would have a long career, win awards and just have an all around awesome life?

Then, like most former child stars, she had a meltdown, and everyone turned on her. It’s not just Lindsay. Britney Spears, Corey Feldman, Corey Haim, Christina Aguilera, Drew Barrymore, Danny Bonaduce, Brad Renfro, Macauley Culkin, anyone from Diff’rent Strokes…. They all got built up, and then went through what all teenagers go through. They get rebellious. They experiment. They break the rules. But unlike normal teenagers, they’ve got a pack of paparazzi following them, documenting all of it. Which really, would only serve to make them even crazier.

Some of the lucky ones, like Drew Barrymore, made it out the other side. But that was before social media. People like Britney had her meltdown shown in real time, all over the world. No matter where someone goes now, there’s someone who can upload whatever they’re doing instantly, it can go viral within 24 hours, and even people in deepest darkest Africa can know what celeb just hit up a Starbucks on Hollywood Blvd.

With social media, blogging, FB, Twitter, the world has also gotten a lot more viscous. People are downright mean. A lot of people also seem like they’re hoping to see the stars fall. Everybody fucks up. If someone was following you around constantly, documenting everything you said or did, we’d see that even you fuck up occasionally. I’m not perfect. I’ve said stupid things. I’ve done dumb things. I’ve said mean things about other people. But, I’m trying really hard to be a better person and be more empathetic. I’m trying to put myself in another persons shoes before I judge them.

I can’t imagine being Lindsay. Or any Hollywood celebrity these days. How does one try to fix it when they’ve got a bunch of people just waiting for them to fall again? How do you seek help, when you’ve got a problem, but you don’t want it splashed everywhere? How do you improve yourself, without looking like a tool? If someone enters rehab to take some me time, get it together, they’re blasted by the media as having a problem. How do you go to a retreat, heal yourself, without worrying that someone else there isn’t going to blab to TMZ about what you were doing there.

Right now, Lindsay is in so much debt, she’s got so many legal problems, it’s hard for her to work. But she HAS to work to pay off that debt. So her idiot parents make money off her any way they can, even if it means making her look bad. She doesn’t want to do reality TV, because she wants to be a respected actress. Nobody respects her as an actress anymore, because she is so stressed out that when she does work, she’s not great.

How can she take time off and heal herself, without people forgetting about her altogether. Hollywood is a fickle place. Disappear for too long, and people forget about you. People want to hire those that are in the media. If being followed by the paparazzi keeps you in the media, then some celebs are willing to make sure they’re getting their pic taken. It’s such a double edged sword.

You’ve got the problem with most kid actors that acting is all they know. They’ve lived a life of privilege. They go out and people know who they are. They’re used to having money. People say they should just disappear for a while. But where are they supposed to go? What are they supposed to do? They’ve got bills to pay like the rest of us. They can’t just sit at home and watch TV all day. They can’t just go get a job somewhere. Can you imagine if Lindsay decided to get a real job? What would she do? Party planner? Real Estate agent? Flipping burgers? So, she takes jobs where she can. Like Charlie is going to give her an episode on Anger Management. Of course, that episode will time nicely with Scary Movie 5. So it’s good for both of them. She can go on trips to Australia, and get paid to make appearances. – I wish I could get that gig! She gets offers to do shows like Dancing with the Stars, but turns it down. I really wish she would accept one of these offers. Sure, turn down reality stuff like Celebrity Rehab. However, DWTS could be good for someone like Lindsay. She’d get work. She could pay her bills. We’d get to see a different side of her. We’d get to see her doing something that doesn’t involve a court appearance. We’d get to know a little bit more of Lindsay each week. She’d get back into shape and could do more of her magazine shoots, paying more bills. Celebreality doesn’t always mean you’re washed up. Lots of people have used it to re-ignite a career after taking a break. Celebrities need sabbaticals too. At least singers can get a gig as a judge on one of the multitude of singing shows. They get paid huge amounts of money, it re-ignites their careers, helps sell albums, plus, we get to know them a little more. Britney stint as a judge helped her tremendously. Unfortunately, actors don’t get the same kind of opportunities to play judge, or even host.

I’ll be super interested to see how Lilo’s Aussie trip goes. I wish I was there so I could meet her. I’d take her to lunch, sit her down, and tell her that it’s all going to be OK. Even with all the shit going on, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. There is a way for her to come out of this on top.

There’s a lot of child stars who went off the rails for a while, and made it out. Not all of them are famous anymore. Just because they’re not acting anymore doesn’t mean they’re losers either. Many have chosen to live regular lives, and are much happier for it. Then there’s Drew Barrymore. She went through hell, and now she’s a successful actress, producer, has a cosmetics line and is happily married with a kid.

I just hope that the public, and Hollywood is willing to help Lindsay become the next Barrymore.

And Lindsay, if you ever do need a break for a week or two from the craziness, I’ve got a ranch in Texas with a bunch of POSTED signs on it. You’re welcome to come anytime.

February 6, 2013

Pregnant and in the Public Eye

Who’d want to be famous and pregnant?

Remember when celebrities disappeared when they got pregnant? It was like they just dropped off the radar for a while. We didn’t see their kids until they were older either. Then, a few years ago there came some obsession with pregnant celebrities and now we have all of these stupid “baby bump watches” and we have paparazzi stalking people who have newborn infants trying to get the “first pic”. Can you imagine being a week old and and having dozens of flashes going off in your face? When did we get so invasive of people’s privacy that we now want to watch a celebrity give birth? We’ve got radio hosts calling hospitals to get news on Kate Middleton, who wasn’t even 12 weeks pregnant yet. People don’t like to announce a pregnancy before 12 weeks, just in case they have a miscarriage. However, we have every magazine declaring anyone who has eaten a burrito to be pregnant. What if a celeb is 8 weeks pregnant, and doesn’t want to announce it yet? It’s none of our business. Then what happens if she loses it. Or decides she isn’t going to keep it? How many actresses are forced into keeping a pregnancy because in this day and age they’d never be able to have it taken care of?

Today, Chrissie Swan went on radio and television to confess that she’s 5 months pregnant, and hasn’t been able to quit smoking. Now, I think that drinking or smoking while you’re pregnant is terrible. I don’t see why people can’t go without a drink for 9 months. In the grand scheme of things, it’s less than a year of your life to make sure that your kid gets off to a great start.

I hate smoking. I smoked when I was younger. I’m not going to hide it. I did it out of boredom, or to be cool, or something. I started in Honduras, where everyone did it. I gave it up for a while, then took it up again. I gave it up for good when I met Matt. He wouldn’t date someone who smoked, and I thought he was worth giving it up for. Turns out he was. 🙂 I hate places where people can still smoke cigarettes, and hate smokey bars. However, I have the occasional cigar, and I enjoy a glass of whiskey. We all have our vices….

I have had discussions with people who were pregnant, who continued to smoke, or drink. Going out to dinner with one of my best friends, she ordered a glass of wine when she was 8 months pregnant. Matt and I were asked her what the fuck she was doing. She said he doc told her it’s ok. We didn’t agree with her, and we told her we thought it was a bad idea. However, I would never, ever, tell her she was a bad mother and she didn’t deserve to have kids. When working at a restaurant back in Australia, I was a cook, and the only non-smoker. It would piss me off when everyone else left me working while they had their ciggie breaks. One of the waitresses got pregnant, and she kept smoking. I asked her why she wasn’t giving it up. She said she was terrified to. She had gone cold turkey the last time she had gotten pregnant, and had a miscarriage. She thought that the stress of quitting caused her to lose her baby. She wasn’t going to go through it again. I begged her to at least cut back. She was a heavy smoker.

But here’s what I’ve learnt over the past few years. I don’t know if it’s because I’m older and wiser, or if it’s having been thrust back into the spotlight again a few years ago. But, I think we should stop judging other people so much. I couldn’t stand to be pregnant in this day and age. Matt and I had already decided not to have kids years ago. But watching the absolute public speculation and vilification of expectant mothers these days is just sad.

Yes, people should put an investment into their future kids. Yes, they should give them the best start possible. But here’s the thing. Everyone has a different idea of what that is. Somehow, in this day and age, everybody has a fucking opinion of what is right and what’s wrong when it comes to the thing growing inside someone else’s uterus.

Reading over blogs, discussions and twitter, it’s interesting to see it’s the men who are being the total heartless judgmental ones over the Chrissy thing, while women, who don’t agree with it, and also think it’s abhorrent, are at least a little gentler on her, and saying things like I don’t agree with it, but I feel sorry for her. Interesting that men, who cannot bear a child, and who are free to continue to drink and smoke for the 9 months their partners are pregnant, are the most judgmental when it comes to pregnancy. Women, who actually get to experience pregnancy, are obviously a little more empathetic. I feel sorry for pregnant women these days. They are no longer considered a woman. They are simply a carrier for an embryo. Everybody is constantly passing judgement, during the pregnancy, and then afterwards. Whether you give birth naturally or get a c-section, whether you breast or bottle feed, or what type of diapers you use. Then there’s the judgement over whether you lose weight quick enough afterwards. Poor Jessica Simpson was picked on the whole time she was pregnant. People kept passing judgement on how much she was eating. She was getting too big. Her pregnancy was lasting too long. She didn’t lose the weight quick enough. Now, they’re complaining she got pregnant again too quickly.Any time Jennifer Aniston turns down sushi, a magazine declares she’s knocked up. Maybe she just didn’t feel like raw fish that day. But heaven forbid she gets a craving for it while she is. Hilary Duff got the mummy police all over her after she smoked a cigarette outside a nightclub after her son was born. Jackie O caused a furore after being snapped bottle feeding Kitty while walking down a street. C’mon people. Is it really going to endanger a kid to be fed while a parent is walking? Just because some people can’t walk and chew gum at the same time doesn’t mean other people can’t multitask. I don’t see why the whole world has to stop just cause the kid is hungry.

People will bitch if you bottle feed a kid. They complain if you breast feed in public. How would people know if you had pumped your own breast milk and was bottle feeding it the kid, unless you’re Kourtney Kardashian and can film it for your reality show?

Pregnant women have become nothing more than an incubator. Nobody cares about her wellbeing. They don’t give a shit how she feels. Her only job in life is to provide a nice quiet vitamin filled space for a possible person. No pregnancy is guaranteed, perfect incubator or not. Sometimes things just don’t work out. It’s very sad, but sometimes babies die. It doesn’t mean it was the mother’s fault. But she better watch out, because you can bet someone is there who is going to point out that she did something that caused it. Never mind that’s she probably grieving, completely heartbroken, is having all kind of extra emotions from all the hormones. People will lay a guilt trip on them anyway.

I think it’s time people started to look at themselves in the mirror. Look at your own faults. See if you’re perfect before you openly criticize someone else. Yes, we all love to gossip. We all are guilty of talking shit about someone else. But don’t say something behind someone back that you wouldn’t say to their face. Don’t get on the internet and start talking about someone like Chrissie being an awful mother who deserves a smack over the head, unless you’re willing to say that to her face. Then, try to remember she’s 5 months pregnant and is going through a shitstorm of emotions and doesn’t need your judgement. It’s hard enough for people to ask for help when they need it. When you’re famous, you’re not allowed to be vulnerable. You’re not allowed to appear weak. Asking for help would be admitting to both of those things. How does a celebrity reach out and ask for help. Who do they turn to? How can they get the help they need without it being something else for people to scrutinize and form another opinion on, or yet another paparazzi shot or magazine article?

If nothing else, I hope Chrissie is now able to quit smoking. I just hope the stress of being in the public eye and getting all this negativity thrown at her doesn’t do more harm to her kid than the one cigarette a day she was smoking.

January 28, 2013

Method Actors

Try Acting, Dear Boy

Supposedly, during the filming of Marathon Man, Dustin Hoffman, who is a “Method Actor” stayed up all night so he could really look the part. Lawrence Olivier told him, “Try acting, dear boy, it’s much easier.”

I’ve never really understood Method acting. I mean, I get doing training for a part if you have to have particular skills, or it’s very physical. But I don’t get the whole spending months researching and following someone around so you can really get into someone’s head. Are you an actor, or an analyst? Yes, there’s times I’ve seen actors in military movies, and I wish someone had shown them how to salute properly, but I don’t get when an actor spends 6 weeks at basic so they can really get into the role.

What made me think about it was an article today about Ashton Kutcher getting hospitalized because he’s playing Steve Jobs in a movie, and he got sick after following his fruitarian diet. Really, a diet? I get if you have to lose weight to look the part, but following the same diet? I just don’t get it. How does eating the same food as the person you’re playing make you a better actor?

Melissa George went to spy school for her role on Hunted. Maybe that teaches you some sharper skills or something. I wish when actors are playing baristas that someone would teach them to foam milk. But that takes about 10 minutes. Maybe like Argo, method acting is a good way to get spies to infiltrate places and say they’re “doing research for a part.” It’s crazy the access people will give you if you’re famous or have a camera.

How far are people willing to go as method actors? Since those playing soldiers go to boot camp, and people will eat the same food as their real life person, if they’re playing a murderer, are they going to kill people so they can really feel what it’s like to take a life?

Maybe method actors get it. Maybe it does make them better actors. But just know, Brad Pitt, when you don’t shower for days so you can really be the part, nobody else appreciates it. The smell doesn’t come across on TV. It’s television, not smellavision.

I guess the problem is so many people once they become famous don’t have real life experiences anymore. They’re stuck in their little Hollywood bubble and can’t go experience real life without paparazzi ruining it. Maybe they forget how to just act like real people. Which is a shame. If you can’t just read the lines and know how a normal person would react, maybe it’s time to take a break.

I’m not an actor anymore. I’m lucky that while these people have to do research on how to sit in an office and chase bad guys, I get to do it for real…. I guess it’s the opposite of the “I’m not a doctor, but I play one on TV.”