Two Truths are possible.

I’m not sure what I was dreaming about last night, but when I woke up, my mind was caught up in that last day of court. The one where things didn’t go so well, and I knew that all of the country would know it. I was so distraught that the detectives called me later that evening to make sure I was ok. They were right to call. I was staring at a packet of pills.

It’s not often that I think about that day anymore. Since we won the case, that day has faded. With writing my book, it eased a little more. I got a little anxious around the high court appeal, but since Robert was told he’d had to finish out his sentence, I’ve been pretty damn happy.

I enjoy doing work campaigning for other victim’s rights. I enjoy messaging with people and answering their questions about the process of going to court, and the barrage of emotions they can expect. I like that I can switch off when I need to take a rest day from it all. Basically, I’ve been pretty great the last couple of years.

Then this week, we’ve seen the whole Kavanaugh/Ford saga play out. Living in the US, it’s pretty hard NOT to see what’s going on. I actually watched the proceedings live, because I wanted to be able to watch it myself, and make my own opinion on the matter, and not just listen to all the political propaganda and the bickering back and forth between my friends on FaceBook.

Let’s face it. This has truly divided the nation. When I first moved to the US, Democrats and Republicans were on opposite sides of the fence, but they still met in the middle for a BBQ. These days, there’s no friendly fun. They’re too busy throwing grenades over those fences.

I’m a centrist. I think both parties have good and bad. I think both make good points and terrible points. I don’t vote party lines, and I don’t swallow what one side says as gospel. I enjoy sitting right in the middle and looking critically at BOTH sides, and making up my own mind on an issue. I even enjoy playing devils advocate on many posts, asking people questions about why they think things, or ask them to look at things from the other side.

I think even if you do lean towards one party, it’s critical to still look at an issue and actually think about it. Just blindly following something because your friends do, or because the media tells you that’s the way it is doesn’t seem smart to me. The media used to tell us the news, and they also had an opinion column. These days, every journalists has an opinion, and wants to share it. I think it’s important to watch both CNN and Fox News, so you can see BOTH sides, and then know the truth is probably somewhere in between.

This brings me back to the SCOTUS hearing.

The Supreme Court Justice job is for life. One appointed, it’s a forever thing. Now, once on the Supreme Court bench, a judge is supposed to be impartial. They’re not supposed to lean Republican or Democrat, but people’s upbringing will shape them, and they’ll lean more conservative or liberal. Democrats are terrified that we’ll get in a judge who get’s rid of Roe v Wade, and I’m not sure what Republicans are scared of. Gay Marriage is already legal, and they haven’t made much of a fuss about anything else.

Trump selected a guy called Kavanaugh. Everyone hates Trump, and so it wasn’t a surprise that people were also going to hate his nomination. It’s also not a surprise that the Democrats were going to delay the nomination, hoping to hold off till after the election in November, hoping to get one of their own judges in there instead.

I honestly don’t understand why we need a Democrat or Republican judge when they’re supposed to be impartial, but whatevs.

I’m also not surprised someone in politics had some dodgy history. Let’s face it, most politicians are a little slimy, and we’ve all watched movies about privileged white kids in the 1980’s and know they’re not angels. They’re not all bad, but it’s shouldn’t be a surprise that high school kids got drunk and partied and took shit too far. If we’re honest, we’ve all got some skeletons in our closet that we probably didn’t write in our diary….

I am also not surprised that a woman was assaulted and didn’t report it at the time. I am not surprised by holes in a memory, or the ability to recall some things with laser focus and be total lost on other things. That’s how traumatic memories work. I am not surprised that other kids at a party that weren’t assaulted don’t remember the party. It was just another party to them. Your brain doesn’t hold on to insignificant events the same way it does for something like survival.

What I am surprised at, but probably shouldn’t be after my own dealings with the public, is the amount of hate being spewed at both sides. I had hoped that the #metoo movement might have taught both sides a few things, but it seems like it’s actually dividing people even more.

The Liberal side is screaming that they believe her. They don’t need proof, or witnesses, or to even hear her story. She said it, so it must be true.

The Republican side are saying she’s a liar. A crisis actor paid off by the Clintons. Her only job is to derail the SCOTUS nomination, and that the Libs don’t care if they destroy a man, as long as he doesn’t get the job.

Both sides are fighting back and forth, screaming at each other. All the people who associate with the party are fighting on Facebook and Twitter, telling people on the other side they’re horrible human beings, or they’re stupid, or wrong.

Meanwhile, I decided to just sit back and watch. I watched both sides attack each other. Then I watched both parties give their testimony at the hearing. I watched and listened.

I saw her tell her story. I saw both sides ask her questions. I saw them try to trip her up. I saw them try to rally behind her. I saw her try to answer questions while knowing the whole world was watching her, and I tried not to let my own memories of being questioned influence my judgement.

I watched him get in the chair. I saw his anger and emotion. I tried to think whether he was being hateful and defensive, or whether he was innocent and terrified and angry that he was being accused of something for a political agenda.

I watched as people on social media who had been victims assert she was either lying because she was too calm, or that they believed her because they had also been a victim.

I saw people claim he was too angry, and therefor was guilty. Others said he was angry because he was being falsely accused.

I watched as politicians on both sides claim that this wasn’t a court case, but then demanded both answer questions under oath. They’d say it was a job interview. Then say it was important testimony.

The whole thing was a complete shitshow. It was an embarrassment to both sides.

My takeaway from the whole thing was that it’s possible to be telling the truth, and also be a political victim.

Ford wrote to her political party, expressing concern over the SCOTUS nomination. The Senator held onto that information, on purpose, for political gain. They leaked her name, against her wishes. They then put her in a position where she had to testify with the entire world watching. They have taken a past trauma, brought it back to the surface, and then treated it like a tequila shot and added salt and lemon to it. They have made sure that she will now NEVER be able to move past it. It will forever be written history next to her name. She will spend the rest of her life with people bringing it up. Fellow victims will want to share their stories, others will always accuse her of lying. She will never get any rest from it.

Kavanaugh will also forever be remembered for this. It doesn’t matter whether he is innocent or guilty. If he didn’t do it, he still won’t be able to hold the job, because there’s too much contention. If he’s guilty, there’s still so may who will protest his innocence. There are psychologists who have stated that many adolescent males go through a period where they try to assert their sexual dominance in their teens and then once they go to college sort themselves out and aren’t predators. Then there are guys who are born rapey and stay rapey. I’m not sure which one he is.

I think it’s important that we find out if Kavanaugh tried to rape Ford, and if he did, he needs to be punished. I don’t think that a job interview is the place to do it. I don’t think that a room full of opposing politicians should be the ones asking questions, and I don’t think it needs to be done on live TV while the whole world is watching.

If I wake up remembering my worst day in court because of this, and reading about the millions of other women who have been triggered by watching this, I can only imagine the things that are going through the minds of the pair that are currently engaged in this battle. My heart goes out to both of them. Yes, I said BOTH of them. I feel for their spouses, their children, their friends.

Both parties have been used as political pawns.

If he is innocent, he has had his career and reputation ruined because the Democrats wanted to publicly destroy the Republican party. They could have done something about this weeks ago before he even got this far, and he could have been taken aside and charged by Maryland police. It would still have made news, and he wouldn’t have gotten the job, but it wouldn’t have been as spectacular for the Dems.

If she is telling the truth, she might eventually get her attacker charged, but at what cost? She has been used as a political tool. Instead of being empathetically listened to, and kept confidential like she asked, they decided to make her the face of this whole spectacle. They don’t care that she is getting death threats. They don’t care that she’ll have to move, or might not be able to continue her career. They don’t care that they made her publicly relive her worst memories. They pretend to care, but they’re too happy pushing her out there, too joyful in their act at bringing down the opposition. My heart aches for her. Millions of arm chair experts are picking her apart, trying to tie her to conspiracy theories, assessing whether she’s too emotional, not emotional enough, how much money she’s getting, who is paying her bills, and all the other bullshit.

Politicians need to get their shit together. They need to come together and work out what they have in common, instead of what divides them. They need to go back to having a BBQ in the middle. Regular civilians need to go back to being civil. We need to remember that we’re all friends and relatives, and we can have different beliefs and not be enemies. We need to go back to being able to debate and have civil discussions, and how to talk to each other, and how to listen to each other, not just put our fingers in our ears while yelling at the other side.

People need to learn how to take their bias cap off and watch something from an impartial standpoint. Learn how to put themselves in another person’s shoes, and see things from another point of view. People are so in need of being right, they don’t care if they’re wrong. They don’t care if they alienate people. They just want to live in their own bubble of confirmation bias.

It’s good to step out and engage with the enemy. You might find they’re not so bad. You might even find you make friends, and you no longer have to throw grenades over the fence.

The politicians will stop pandering to the extremes when people stop being out there. If the party is in the middle of the street, they’ll have to find their way in there too. They’ll have to start treating their constituents with respect, and not use them as political tools.

So please, be nice to each other. Look at each other as humans, not as a political party. Remember that you won’t change anyone’s mind insulting them or yelling at them. Grab a beer, have a conversation, and don’t try to rape anyone.

February 2, 2017

Fake News

There’s a fake news epidemic.

When I was young, journalists were expected to present the facts. If you turned on the news, you could expect that a reporter was going to tell you what was happening, and unless you were watching a talk show here somebody was expected to have an opinion, or reading an actual opinion piece in the paper, the news was supposed to be neutral. They presented facts, and you got to make up your own mind if and how to interpret that news. I’m talking about growing up in Australia. Many other countries were having their media manipulated, like in the 1950’s in the US with Operation Mockingbird. Propaganda presented as news. I think they were much more subtle about it back then, and people weren’t blasted by news 24/7 like they are now. Today, it’s reached ridiculously epidemic proportions, and either people don’t realize it’s happening, or they just don’t care.

I’m not sure how it started. It could be when we moved to 24/7 news, and people have to keep having things to cover. Does this mean that we’re now covering every little ridiculous thing that in the past wouldn’t even be thought of as news? I mean, I now see entire articles about one person’s tweet. Journalists trying to rile up other people by pointing out one twitter user saying something. I wonder how long they spend searching for just the right tweet to write about.

Could it be that we’re in this era of celebrity, where people don’t care about actual important events, as long as they know that Beyonce is having twins, or who got nominated for what award? Tabloids and trashy women’s magazines have been notorious for years for printing crap about a celebrity, stating “a source” told them, with the source either being said celebrity’s publicist, or someone else in the magazine’s office making it up. Have we gotten so used to TMZ and E! news that now we don’t hold our news reporters to a higher standard?

Or is there something more sinister at play? Are we being purposely manipulated in order to create change? Are people like George Soros paying off the media in order to create unrest in order to further their own personal gains? He has been shown to meddle in the media in both Europe and the US during elections in order to try to sway the public to vote for his prefered candidate. People are also saying that he’s paying for some of the more violent protests happening in the US right now.

I’m watching all the division and fighting happening right now in the US, and frankly, it’s stupid. It’s not helping anyone. Well, it’s helping someone, but it isn’t the general public. People protesting in the streets, setting things on fire, even the small scale fights on Facebook aren’t helping any of us. We are being manipulated. Someone higher up is trying their best the divide us. Our job is to take a deep breath and not let ourselves be sucked in by it.

It doesn’t matter which side you stand on politically, religiously or socially. Whether you’re conservative or a liberal, whether you’re LBGTQ or married to the opposite sex, pro-choice or pro-life, Catholic, Jewish, Muslim, Atheist or any other religious conviction. We’re ALL people. We all have needs and wants and desires. We all want to be happy. If we all talk to each other, we’d probably find that we all have similar wants and desires, at least the basic stuff.

I guess I’m an atheist libertarian, but I wasn’t raised that way. I think the church is an oppressive oligarchy used to suppress the masses, but I also think that a lot of people find great joy and happiness in believing in their chose deity, and therefore, respect their right to worship. As long as people aren’t telling me who and what to believe in, I don’t feel the need to tell them not to believe in anything.

Just like I’m married to a man, but I’ve been known to kiss a girl or two. Some of my friends are gay, some are straight, and some like a bit of everything. As long as everyone is a consenting adult, I don’t give a shit what they do in the bedroom. It’s none of my business. (Unless they’re personally inviting me to be in there) My friends Sean and Thomas getting married should be no bigger a deal to me that if Kacey and Shawn get married. It has no effect on my personal life or my own marriage whatsoever.

People need to stop worrying so much about what other people are doing, and start taking care of their own shit more. Stop believing everything that the big news outlets are telling you. If you’re interesting in something, do some research on it. Read more that one website. Read three or four. Read things that you would initially dismiss. It’s good for you to learn new things, and read opposing opinions. Instead of dismissing someone as being a racist/xenophobic/islamophobic/liberal etc, have a calm discussion. Ask them WHY they have their opinions. Ask them to explain it to you. If they say something you don’t like, instead of shutting them down, ask them to tell you more. Not just so you learn, but so they do. If they can’t explain it to you, it means they’re probably also simply parroting what they heard on the news, or from their friends, or parents. Discussion forces both parties to think, and maybe learn, and change. Screaming at each other like children doesn’t help anything. I have never changed my view on something because someone called me a name. I’m betting you haven’t either.

Instead of complaining about a situation, sit down and ask yourself how you can fix it. If you don’t like the current leader, what’s an adult way to change it? Is it waiting till the next election and voting them out? Is it going out and educating people? Is it getting involved and creating a bill? Is it sucking it up and actually running for a position yourself? Find a constructive, useful way to channel your anger and frustration. Running through the streets and rioting, burning shit down, punching people in the face, and getting arrested doesn’t solve anything. You’re just making it worse. For society, and yourself. If you don’t like a guest speaker, instead of turning up and booing them, either go and see if you can engage in actual conversation with them, or, just don’t go. Save yourself the agony. Just because you don’t like someone’s opinion, doesn’t mean others don’t, and frankly, others have just as much right to their chosen guests as you do. By protesting, you’re just giving that person you hate more of a voice. For example, I had never heard of Milo Yiannopoulos before he was banned from Twitter. There was all this fuss, so I googled him. Now that the kids at UC Berkeley have protested, a whole other group of people who had never heard of him are now looking him up. You wanted to silence him, but all you really did was give him a bigger audience.

fake corp news

So now we have to ask ourselves, who is benefitting from all this hate? Who is profiting from all the riots? Who is trying so hard to divide us, and why? Whether you’re a conspiracy theorist or not, you’ve got to be able to see that there’s something bigger at play here.

I’m not going to be a part of it. Screaming at my friends, protesting in the street, bitching at people on FB. It’s not healthy. It doesn’t help me, or you, or any of us, so I’m not going to be a part of it. Ask yourself what you’re getting out of it? Ask if you’re gaining anything by letting yourself get worked up? Is it giving you any benefit at all?

Then, if you truly want to go out and do something, do something useful. Go volunteer somewhere. Make your grandma dinner. Donate some money to a charity. Go meet with your local politicians and make useful suggestions, or volunteer with them. If you’re passionate about women’s right, donate time, cash or goods to a shelter, or if you feel the need to defend rights, maybe pick somewhere where women truly don’t have them. (Like the Middle East or Africa) Think people need housing, go volunteer with someone like Habitat for Humanity. Like animals? There’s plenty of shelters that need help. Find something constructive. Hashtag activism isn’t really activism. It’s lazy, and doesn’t help channel your rage into anything useful. Rioting and smashing down windows in Starbucks isn’t helpful either. Take that anger, turn into into passion, and do something great with it. Pick something that’s actually meaningful to you, don’t just jump on whatever the next twitter outrage is, then forget about it 10 minutes later when the next outrage hits. You can’t do anything useful if you don’t stick to it.

Most of all, open your heart and your mind. Embrace your fellow man. Don’t let yourself be manipulated by the man. Remember the golden rule, never Discuss Money, Religion or Politics in polite company, and it’s up to us to be polite company.

November 9, 2016November 9, 2016

Trump Won. Now What?

So last night was the US election, and this morning, you’d think that the world was about to end. On my facebook feed, there was a never ending stream of The Sky is Falling! and other such scaremongering.

Yes, Trump won. People had to know this was a possibility. I mean, he was on the ballot. The other choices were Hillary, Johnson, or as many people chose to ignore, another woman, Jill Stein. Let me start with that. There are a bunch of people crying about how we hit a glass ceiling, and how the world has gone backwards, because a man won the election. They made it sound like Hillary was the first women to ever run as a head of state. Never mind that there has already been 26 nations that have already had a woman run a country, people ignored that there was another woman on the ballot. Nobody cares that she lost. Then again, it seems nobody cared she was on there in the first place. I think a lot of people only voted for Hillary because she owned a vagina, which I think is a terrible reason to vote for someone. Vote for them based on their policies, or their record, not because of what’s in their underpants. Hillary didn’t lose because she’s a woman, she lost because people didn’t want another four years of the same thing.

Trump isn’t a true Republican, and he’s not a Democrat. I’m not really sure what he is politically. He’s a businessman who was also a reality star. He offered the people something different. Lots of people weren’t in love with what he was offering, but Americans truly believe that voting third party is a complete waste, and so while Gary Johnson had some good ideas, he really didn’t stand a chance. Much like we all loved Ron Paul back in the day. It just wasn’t going to happen.

So this morning I watched my friends lose their collective shit, crying over how they’re going to lose their healthcare, or get deported, or having their same sex marriages annulled, and I want to tell everyone to take a deep breathe, and relax.

Think back to every other election you’ve lived through, and especially since the advent of social media. Every single time, half the country loses their minds, crying it’s armageddon, that the economy will fail, that they’ll lose their rights, basically that their life is over. Then, a couple years later, those same people are complaining that the elected official hasn’t fulfilled any of their campaign promises, and that nothing is being done.

Presidents are figure heads. They can make executive orders, but they can also be struck down. Nobody walks into office and within a couple years has done all they said they would. That’s why you have the senate. There’s balance. Trump isn’t going to walk into office in January and annul your marriage, or take away your right to birth control. He has said he’ll make changes to Obamacare, but he hasn’t said what those changes are, so before you cry that you’re going to lose your healthcare, maybe wait and see what he’s actually trying to do, and then if what he wants will even pass congress, and then access your options. Who knows, since about the only thing I’ve heard him say about healthcare is that he’s going to make it tax deductible, it might actually be better for those self employed people who have to purchase their own and don’t get it through an employer. The thing is, we don’t know, so don’t give yourself an ulcer over it. Premiums already went up a ridiculous amount before he was elected, so you can’t blame that on him. I also highly doubt that insurers are going to go back to denying people with pre-existing conditions. If your insurer does, find another one who doesn’t.

As to the posts about foreigners feeling scared to be here in the US now, I haven’t met a single foreigner in real life who actually feels that way. I’m a foreigner myself, and I have plenty of other expat friends. (and no, they’re not all anglo.) We’ve all concluded that as long as you’re here legally, there’s absolutely no reason to be freaking out. Trump isn’t going to deport people here legally. I’m not sure why people think he hates foreigners, I mean, his wife is one. Is he going to start with her? No. Probably not. Will he get tough on people who are here illegally? Maybe. Do I think that’s a bad thing? Well, I spent three years working on a border program. I spent three years watching cameras, processing reports, analyzing data on the drugs, money, people and weapons that went back and forth. I saw Border Patrol agents who had a harder and harder time doing their job. I have a completely different perspective than most civilians. There’s a reason the USBP endorsed Donald. I do think that legitimate refugees have a place in society. I don’t think that paying a coyote to smuggle you across a border from a country that has no problems entitles you to live here when so many of us went through the legal process just fine. Basically, as long as your papers are in order, you’re fine. No different from the last guy.

I’m not scared of WWIII breaking out. I was actually more scared of the never ending war we could have endured if Clinton had won. She was very pro-war, and anti Russia. I don’t have a problem with a guy who actually wants to be friends with other heads of state, and who isn’t interested in another Cold War. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe Trump will start shit, but I’ll worry about that if and when it happens.

Maybe it’s just that I’ve spent the last couple of years really trying to teach myself to breathe and be calm and not get hysterical over every little tweet or FB post, or cause du jour, that I can sit back and watch this calmy. Maybe I prefer to take a moment and see the bigger picture, or let shit play out before I get my panties in a wad, but I really think people are way overreacting.

Don’t let crying celebrities and the 24/7 news media let you get all worked up.

Trump will be sworn in, and just like every other President, anything he tries to do will be blocked in the senate. It will be years before he can realistically achieve anything. So sit back, relax, and enjoy the show.

orange-new-black

March 25, 2015

Monica Lewinsky Ted Talk

Monica Lewinsky: The Price of Shame

If you haven’t seen the Monica Lewinsky Ted Talk yet, watch it here.

Most people just think of Monica as that intern that sucked a president’s dick. You don’t think of her as a person. As a real life, living breathing person, with feelings. Here, she makes you realize that not only is she a person, but a little bit of what she went through.

It brought me to tears.

She is absolutely right in her speech. “Public shaming as a blood sport has to stop.” People are so busy vilifying people online, but they’re not attempting to find a useful solution to situations. Even as recently as last week, with the John Laws drama. People called for him to be sacked, people called for him to be cast aside, but nobody looked at the bigger issue. Yes, Laws is a dinosaur, but honestly, even as a victim, there are times when I have no idea what to say to people. I have people share with me their abuse ALL the time, but sometimes, it’s in a situation you don’t expect, and it can throw you off guard. When you’re not expecting it, sometimes words fail you. Which is why I suggested sensitivity training. It’s probably something that ALL journalists and media people should do, because you just never know what someone will share with them. If it’s going to be live on air, they need to be prepared for it.

I think what really struck me about her interview is that I know what she went through. Certainly not on the scale she did. But, when I first went public about what happened to me, it was insane how I was attacked online. I had emails, tweets and blog comments telling me all kinds of awful things. The media dissected me. Talk shows discussed whether I was telling the truth, or if it was all a ploy to sell a scuba show. I woke up one morning to a morning show with a screen cut in four, as a bunch of people discussed my abuse. (Or lack of)

Maybe it’s hard for people to have empathy until they’ve been in such a situation. I know that I’ve certainly changed my habits over the last 5 years. I like to think I was always willing to give people the benefit of the doubt, but now, I really feel for people who have been the object of a lynch mob in the new media.

I hope you never have to go through what some people do. You can help by thinking before you tweet, text, comment or youtube your opinion. Remember, the person you’re dealing with, is a real live person, with feelings, just like you.

February 6, 2015

Team Former Child Star!

How awesome is Maureen McCormick?

Anyone who has read my blog, tweets, or FB page knows I’m a sucker for reality TV. Especially Celebreality TV. Too many actors are these inaccessible people, who maintain a complete facade. It’s all about a “brand” and doing whatever one needs to do to maintain that brand, whether that’s really them or not. Celebreality TV destroys that. It breaks someone down to who they really are, bad editing or not. Sure, you can edit someone to look like an arsehole, by cutting clips together of things they’ve said, but if they hadn’t said them in the first place, then they couldn’t do that…

I love getting to see the real person. If you’re a good person, you’ve got nothing to worry about. If you’re an arsehole, then maybe celebreality isn’t for you. Or maybe it is. Some people LOVE to be the arsehole.

I know a lot of people say that shows like “I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here” are for C grade has beens, or like a lot of twitter people like to say, Who are these people? I don’t know any of them.” Seriously, if you don’t know who any of the cast are, then you need to get out more. I haven’t lived in Australia for 12 years, and even I know most of them. I’ll admit, I didn’t know Joel or Tyson, but I certainly know Chrissie Swan, Daddo, Merv, Leisel and of course, Maureen. If you don’t know who Maureen is, then I’m sorry, but, you’re an idiot. When you tweet you don’t know who these people are, it says a lot more about you than any of these people. Also, to those who say, “More like C list Celebrities.” A C list celebrity is still a celebrity. The show isn’t called “I’m an A lister, get me out of here.” Did people really expect that A listers would be on this show? Firstly, an A lister would never do a reality show. They limit themselves to very small talk show segments, where people don’t have enough time to see anything but their manufactured image. Also, A listers are busy. Or, they already have enough money they don’t need to go to the jungle for weeks. I’d much rather see a normal celebrity who is willing to have a go and make fun of themselves. People who are willing to let the public see the real them.

People think celebrities go on these shows simply for money, or to revive a career. Sure, that’s part of it. But if you were offered a chance to spend several weeks in Africa, wouldn’t you jump at it? I would. Most people pay thousands of dollars to go camping in Africa. These guys are getting paid to do it. Ok, so maybe they’re not on a fun safari, but they’re still in Africa. I’m sure they get a week there afterwards to enjoy it.

The big thing though, is it’s a challenge. I commend all those taking part in getting out of their comfort zones. For trying something new. For taking a chance on doing something out of the ordinary. To face their phobias. It’s easy for a celebrity to say no. To just stay in their designer outfits, and go hang out on a red carpet. To eat in fabulous restaurants. It takes some balls to say “fuck it, I’m going to go slum it for a few weeks and eat slimy bugs and ostrich anus”. As hard as it will be for them now, it will all be worth it when it’s over. Too many celebrities are surrounded by yes men. They become lazy and complacent. They don’t have to push themselves. Sometimes they forget how strong they are. These challenges will push them, remind them that they’re strong. Remind them of how great their life is back home. Small things like a flat white will be a big deal. Hot showers, amazing. Going home to a warm bed, brilliant.

This show is designed to push people to their absolute breaking point. That’s the point. To make pampered celebrities squeal that they can’t take it, and want to go home to their comfy lives. I love watching it though and seeing these people remember how fabulous they have it. It reminds people not to take everything for granted. Sure, some of the challenges seem easy, and from the comfort of your couch you can scream at Laura to suck it up princess. But, if she genuinely has a phobia of fish, maybe it was too much for her. We couldn’t smell it from home. I’m sure it was putrid. Let’s not forget these people are sleep deprived, food deprived and are being watched 24/7. After getting covered in filth, they have to try to get clean in a cold shower, with no privacy. How do you clean the fish guts out of your privates without taking your bikini off? Ugh. No thank you. Of course, I’m way bitchier than the rest of those people, so when I found out that she was in charge of our meals for the next three days, I wouldn’t be coddling her and telling her that if she can’t do it, it’s ok, we’ve got rice and beans, and then talking about her while she’s gone. I’d go all drill sergeant on her and let her know that everyone is depending on her, and she just needs to put her big girl panties on and do it. Everyone is hungry, and she needs to man up. (Yep, I’d be the arsehole of the show)

It also teaches the audience not to judge a celebrity before the first couple of days. Everyone thought that Maureen was crazy, and she’d be the first to tap out. Then she showed she probably has the biggest set of brass balls in there. Never underestimate a child star. They have an amazing work ethic, will be the best team players, and will do what needs to be done. They’re mentally tough. They’ve probably been through way more than anyone can imagine. She was thrown into a group of people, and didn’t know anyone. It had to be hardest for her. Or maybe easier, because she didn’t have any preconceived notions.

I say good luck to everyone on there. May your efforts be worth it. May you learn a bunch about yourself. May you find your inner strength. Good on all of you for giving it a go! I think you’re all fabulous. Especially you Maureen.

April 14, 2014

A predators downfall

A Current Affair – Not just for ratings

There has been literally thousands of comments over the last few years on the coverage of our story about being molested by Robert Hughes. A lot of people have seen it for what it is, a great piece of investigative journalism, that has helped to expose the dirty secrets of the industry. Throughout the last four years, A Current Affair and it’s staff have been nothing but gracious professionals. They’ve been polite, they’ve been diplomatic, and more importantly, they’ve been friends.

When the story first broke, other networks tried to get in on it. I refused to work with a network that had put me in a position to be continually molested, and so they took great pride in slamming me several times throughout the process. Then, they’d think I had forgotten and ask me to do another interview. I especially loved the hypocrisy of them saying “whatever they’re paying you, we’ll double it”… They never understood it wasn’t about money. I simply wasn’t going to work with a network that let me down as a child, and then slammed me every time I refused to work with them as a result. Here’s a tip network execs, if you want someone to work with you, don’t publicly slag them off.

This whole journey has never been about money. Something some networks just don’t understand. The team at Channel 9 has been amazing. Tracy Grimshaw, Ben Fordham & Pete Stefanovic have been great to talk to on camera. You have to be able to trust someone to talk to them on camera, and I never for a minute doubted any of them. Behind the scenes, ACA has some of the kindest, most wonderful producers and staff around. (That’s you Stef and Grant) They literally held my hand, hugged me, and walked beside me through this whole process.

It saddens me when bitter trolls think that the only reason A Current Affair did this story, or continued with this story was because of the ongoing rivalry between 7 & 9 and think ACA just used it as a means to slam 7. I’m sure it was a great side effect that 9 could slam 7, but let’s face it, 7 deserves to be slammed…. However, what people don’t realize is there was much more to the story than just a dig at another network. People at ACA knew what was happening. They had heard accounts of abuse, and wanted to bring the story to light. They didn’t just cover the story, then disappear until it was over. They’ve stayed in touch over the years. (Unlike so many others) They were genuinely vested in the story. Ben McCormack was in court during the verdict, and called so I could hear it straight from him, while he was there.

I’ve got nothing but love and respect for the whole ACA team. In this episode, chronicling the journey of the last 4 years, they’re not grandstanding or gloating. They are genuinely happy and proud of what ACA has done. They’ve helped me find my courage and strength to bring my perpetrator to court, where he was found guilty. That’s a wonderful thing.

If you can watch this, and think that ACA is only about ratings, and not about justice, then it says a lot more about you than it does about them…

A Current Affair – A Predators Downfall

I think they deserve a medal for their work. Hopefully, they’re remembered at award season. 😉

November 7, 2013November 7, 2013

Be a personality, just not your own.

When you’re not allowed to be yourself…

I’ve not had the privilege of meeting Charlotte Dawson in person, but we’ve communicated over social media, and I love her because she has been supportive of me and my journey over the last 3+ years. She has sent me messages off line, giving me a much needed boost when I was feeling low. I admire the fact that she’s so open, and that she’s not afraid to tell people who she really is. I think she’s beautiful and ballsy. That’s a rare combination.

It’s hard to find real people in the entertainment business. Everyone is always just a carefully crafted image. The audience knows this, and are always begging to see the real side of stars. That’s why people love Celebrity Reality shows, because you finally get to see some real personality shine through. It’s also why so many celebs don’t do reality. Because their REAL personality is carefully hidden, lest it hurt “their brand”.

People like Charlotte let others know it’s OK to be vulnerable. That we all have emotions. That we all have bad days. She shows that celebs have feelings too, and if you constantly tell us we’re worthless, that it affects us too, just like anybody else. I thinks she’s tremendously courageous for tweeting out when she needs help. I love that she posts random photos on instagram. I love that she lets us see the real her, and not just the carefully crafted glamour shots of her.

So reading that her management company is telling her they can’t represent her because she’s damaging her brand by being too real just saddens me. It tells me her company, and that of the people using her services are just completely out of touch with reality. We don’t want carefully crafted fake personalities. We want real people like Charlotte. We want people that we can relate to. People who show us that they’re human.

Shame on you Chic Celebrity Management.

Don’t worry Charlotte, you’ll find something better.

October 14, 2013October 14, 2013

What’s the difference between being artsy and trashy?

Apparently it depends on whether you’re a former child star or not.

I was never a huge Miley Cyrus fan back in the day. I was too old to get into her Hanna Montana thing, and I don’t have kids that would have exposed me to her either. I did notice her when she started her transition from Disney child star to grown up performer.

It’s never easy going through the transition from teenager to adult. It’s even harder trying to do this when you’re got the whole world watching you. How many people can honestly say they never fucked up during that transition? Or did things that they didn’t regret later? Everyone has an opinion on all the current celebrities going through their transitions. I’d like to see half of these people last a day being hounded by paparazzi, being constantly scrutinized by every keyboard warrior, and how many times someone could call them a talentless slut before they broke down, let alone trying to go through the entire transition. It’s kind of weird that in the midst of this “Bullying Awareness” campaign that the media is bestowing upon us, they’re the ones doing the most amount of bullying on people like Miley Cyrus, Britney Spears, Justin Beiber and other stars trying to make a living. Hypocrisy much?

So here’s a few things I’ve noticed over the last few months:

If you started your artistic career as as adult, it’s ok to get nekkid in a film clip, but if you were a child star, apparently it’s not….

There’s also the speculation on what you can wear during a performance. Apparently people either have short memories, or you can do a nude outfit, as long as you use glitter to cover/accentuate your lady parts.

Apparently a nude suit is appropriate for the Olympics, but not for the VMA’s

Apparently it’s also OK to pose half naked on album or magazine covers, as long as you’re not a former child star…

Hell, you can even dress in skimpy outfits and dance with weird animals….

Katy-Perry-at-California-Dreams-Tour-Performance — Apparently this is OK..

Then there was Sinead O’Connor’s open letter to Miley. Look, maybe she was trying to be helpful, but when was the last time you took advice from someone who called you a prostitute? If I didn’t know you, and I wrote you an open letter calling you a misguided prostitute, who had no idea that you were being pimped out by your minders, do you think you’d say, Oh hey, Thanks Sarah. Or, would you say, Hey Sarah, go fuck yourself? – Be honest now. Maybe it wasn’t cool of Miley to insinuate that Sinead wasn’t totally together, but since Sinead is now up to her 5th open letter, she’s kind of proving her point.

Look, a lot of people don’t like Miley. They don’t like that fact that she’s growing up. They don’t like that she’s trying to find her own way. They didn’t like it when Britney grew up. They don’t like Beiber growing up. I don’t think anybody likes ANY child star that grows up in the spotlight. Nobody likes Lindsay either. I’m so grateful I left the industry and didn’t have to go through that transition in the spotlight.

But look, kids are like puppies. They don’t stay young and cute forever. They all grow up eventually. Just like a puppy who chews your shoes, and pees in the corner, teenagers are going to do the same thing, whether they’re in the spotlight or not. Some kids do it better than others, and some are just better at hiding it. It’s not fair to compare kid stars either. Just like regular kids, each has to find their own way, and you didn’t go through the same things other kids you went to school with. Famous kids are they same. They all have their own shit to deal with. Just because TMZ has told you where they are, doesn’t mean you know how they got there.

Oh, and for anyone who thinks Miley has no talent, watch this:

You’ll notice I left Lady Gaga out of the mix, because like Madonna, she’s made her whole career about shocking people with nudity. At this point, it’s neither shocking, nor new, but people seem to lap it up. Just Google Lady Gaga nude if you want to see how blase it’s become.

April 10, 2013April 10, 2013

Lindsay on Letterman

Lindsay Lohan on Letterman

So in case you misses it, Lindsay came back from Brazil, and went on to The Late Show with David Letterman.

I love Letterman. Have done since I was a small kid and we watched him thanks to the big dishes at the studio that picked up all the foreign channels. Well, actually, back then I used to think he was kind of mean to his guests. But Julie McGregor loved him, so we would always have him on in the green room. Then I went to Honduras, and it was like comfort food when I was there. I was older and started to get his humour. I think he also mellowed a bit. I couldn’t believe when Steve Vizard ripped off his show, right down to the pencil throws and arm twist drumroll. Then nine bought Letterman and he finally came to Australian TV.

A few years ago I was in New York for a work conference, and I actually got to go see Letterman live. It was awesome. Dave and I share a birthday, and I had always dreamed of being on Letterman one day. Preferably with Drew Barrymore there also. 😉 Maybe one day I’ll have a reason to go on there, but just getting to be in the audience was pretty cool. When we were there, Vince Vaughn was on talking about Couples Retreat.

One of my other favourite people is Lindsay Lohan. I know she’s troubled, and people like to pick on her. But I think she’s incredible pretty, and a very talented actress. I still have hope that she can turn her life around and be a working actress, without a bunch of drama. I really hope that rehab works out for her. She desperately needs to just go somewhere that she can just work on her issues and not be interrupted by paparazzi and E! news all the time. It’s tough to grow up in the industry. People make fun and say she gets it easy. I’d like to see how well most people cope with just one day of being followed and targeted and having everything they do scrutinized and displayed for literally the whole world to see.

Everyone has crazy years. It’s hard to go from kid to adult and not fuck up. Everyone gets into trouble. We all do stupid things. But not everyone ends up on the news everytime they do something other people don’t approve of.

But watching this interview on Letterman, I think Lindsay is going to be just fine. She comes across as very humble. She makes fun of herself. She talks about how she respects Charlie Sheen because he’s nice to the crew. (There’s a lot of actors that are dicks to crew or lesser actors)

I truly hope that Lindsay takes this opportunity to take time for herself, and works on her demons. I hope that all the media also gives her the opportunity to take a time out and leaves her alone to fix herself. It’s important that she is given space and time. The constant hounding by people just hoping to catch her fuck up is only going to make it worse.

I’ll be sending happy thoughts to Lindsay while she’s in rehab. I hope wherever she is going has an awesome staff like they do at Heal For Life. That place was amazing, and they can do in one week what it takes some places months to do. I wish I could send her there.

When Lindsay gets out, I hope people give her a break. I hope she continues working. I hope she finds peace.

And Dave, I’d still love to be on your show one day!

April 3, 2013

Fashion Week v’s The Logies

Fashion Disaster or Awesome Opportunity?

Lets face it, while the Logies are fun, and a cute little get together for Australian talent, along with the seemingly obligatory international act and guest presenter, the Logies isn’t a big deal outside of Australia.

Sure, everyone gets together, has a drink, there’s some awards passed out, but it’s not the Oscars, the Emmy’s, the SAG Awards or the Bafta’s. The event isn’t televised around the world, with hundreds of millions of people watching from all over the globe.

So when Australian Fashion week falls on the same week as the Logies, I can understand why the big designers aren’t falling over themselves to make sure the locals are wearing their stuff. They simply have a bigger event going on. One that WILL be seen all over the world.

But, while Alex Perry, J’Aton and the others are focused on Fashion week, this does leave enormous opportunity for up and coming designers to finally get a dress on someone. It’s hard as a new and emerging designer to get anybody to pay attention to your dresses if they’ve got some big name designer willing to gift a dress to a star. However, with all the big names not offering their wares, it’s a great time for actresses and their stylists to be making friends with the next up and comer, and start making long lasting friendships.

I hope all the young designers out there are also taking this opportunity to reach out and get their dresses on everyone. Trust me, while the girls can’t get a major designer, they’ll be very grateful to be getting a dress, especially one that they know won’t be worn by another girl that night. Or worse, that they have to go out and buy off a rack somewhere! You might get lucky, and if you get it on a star who then makes it to an awards ceremony in the US or the UK, they’ll remember you, and might choose one of your dresses again for the international awards, where you‘ll get big time exposure. My tip – looking at all the Home & Away people making it in the US right now, get your stuff on one of them. Any of them!

It’s also a golden opportunity for any of the stars who want to dabble in fashion to dress themselves. If I was walking the red carpet this year, knowing I wasn’t going to be constantly trumped by a Dior or Versace or Alex Perry, I’d totally take the opportunity to wear my own design. I’d design it, have it made, and swagger down that red carpet. I’d make sure I was photographed with everyone, especially the international guest, whose photos might make it overseas. A star couldn’t ask for a better year to wear their own designs.

I know I made fun of the Logies a little, but they are a good time, and excellent exposure for people within Australia. I hope everyone has a super fun time, whether they’re getting their drink on at the Logies, or oogling the beautiful new stuff at Fashion week.

I’m super jealous of those of you who get to attend both!