Fixed Reality

How Real are Celebreality shows?

Australia doesn’t have a lot of Celebreality shows. There was the three seasons of Celebrity Apprentice, one so far of I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here, and now they’ve announced Celebrity Big Brother, which only had one version way back in 2002. The US and the UK have a massive amount of Celebrity reality shows. I’m not sure if it’s because they have more celebrities to make these shows with, or if audiences are just more receptive in other markets.

celebrity-apprentice-australia — Celebrity Apprentice Australia

Anyone who follows me knows how much I love celebreality. Sure, sometimes none of us know who the “celebrity” is, and whether they really qualify to be on a celebrity version of a show, but sometimes, those wild cards end up being the most interesting contender. People complain about these shows not having bigger celebrities, but lets be real, you’re never going to get an A lister, or probably even a B lister to go on one of these shows. Honestly, I think they’re far more interesting with lesser known, or past their prime celebrities. Famous people have a brand to protect. The up and comers, or those who have fallen from grace, don’t give a shit. They’re willing to get down and dirty. They’re going to let their real personality shine. They’re not going to attempt to maintain a persona for weeks on end, trying to make sure they don’t damage their reputation.

I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here. — I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here.

That said, there seems to be a huge difference in how the US and the UK cast these shows, and how their talent acts on them. The Americans always cast big, loud, brash characters, with the intent of putting a group of people together who they know will not get along. The entertainment is supposed to come from everyone yelling and scratching each others eyes out. Most of the US talent know what the network wants, and will immediately throw a diva fit, or start crying, or spend weeks antagonizing each other. Sure, it’s drama, but frankly, it bores the shit out of me. I’m sure it also bores other people, which is why the US versions of shows only last a couple of seasons, or are sporadically programmed.

The UK versions prefer to throw a bunch of people together who will be all nice and polite to begin with, until the close confines start to wear thin. Along with the challenges being set to them, they will start to become unhinged. The slow unravel is much more interesting to watch, and creates more water cooler conversations as you work out who is going to form alliances, and who will lose it next. I also find it refreshing that the UK celebs freely admit they’re going on the show to earn money, and raise their profiles. In other countries people all yabber on about how they’re on there to raise money for charity, or make up some other selfless reason to go on there. Sure, it’s great to raise money for charity, but don’t deny you’re also getting paid a wad of cash, and it’s great personal publicity.

Just like the Aussie version of these shows always have a token foreigner or two, the UK version also has a token US celebrity. Lately though, the UK version of Celebrity Big Brother has been having more and more US cast members, to the point they’re doing an actual UK vs US version. Earlier this year, they had a version with five Americans on there, including Perez Hilton.

cbbuk-2015 — Celebrity Big Brother UK. Do you know who all these people are?

perez dick face — Seriously, who draws dicks on pictures?

Now, while we all know who Perez Hilton is, I’m not sure a guy who got famous for a blog where he posts pictures of actual celebrities with dicks drawn on their faces really qualifies. Yes, he’s become as famous as the people he writes about, but the guy is an absolute fucktard, and doesn’t need more oxygen. I guess the people in the UK either didn’t get who he was, or they knew exactly who he was, and that’s why they cast him. He was the epitome of the US reality star. He was worse than when Heidi and Spencer Pratt went on IACGMOOH. The whole time he just set out to create drama. He didn’t possess an inside voice, and spent half the time in there screaming about how it was “The Perez Show”, while dancing around in his undies. I didn’t like Perez before he went on there, and I absolutely hate him with a passion now. He was someone who went on TV to raise his profile, and ended up just destroying his brand. I wonder if he watched the show back afterwards and realized what a douchebag he was. Probably not. He’s probably still blaming it all on editing. He seems to thrive on people hating him though, so he probably thinks it was a win for him.

On the other hand, when it was announced Katie Hopkins was on the show, she was met with boos as she walked in. I only knew Katie as the woman who had some very nasty views on people, and thought she would be the queen bitch of the show, and that I would hate her. After the first couple of episodes, I actually started to really like her. Yes, she’s opinionated. Yes, she can be a bitch. Yes, she doesn’t like ginger babies, and yes, she’s a snob. Yet, I found her to be a very genuine person during her time on there, and I loved that she was the one person who took no shit from Perez. Now, when you’re one of the most hated women in Britain, and you look good compared to Perez, that should be a life lesson. I’m not the only one who thought Katie was much better than Perez. I found this online poll. She would have fared better if she had backed off a bit instead of always fighting with him, but c’est la vie. I’m sure everyone else was screaming on the inside.

The fact these two were kept on there after Jeremy Jackson, the former child star best known as Hobie from Baywatch, and then Reg Holdsworth were evicted in the first week for bad behaviour, made many people watching at home ask if the whole show was manipulated. Perez claimed he was getting paid more than anyone else, and at one point also claimed it was in his contract he would make it to at least the final 3 episodes. Perez should have been evicted plenty of times, but because of the massive ratings, it appeared as if Big Brother was giving him immunity to keep him on the show for longer. Yes, at first it made for good ratings, but it pissed off a lot of the audience. Deceptive contacts are not good for shows. (It’s like when David Hasselhoff appeared on the Aussie version of Celebrity Apprentice, and claimed he had to leave for family reasons after the third episode. Then it came out he was only ever going to be in three episodes. Viewers were saying “Not happy Jan”.)

Katie Hopkins ended up making it to the end with Katie Price, who ultimately won the show. Pricey was a late intruder, and missed the initial fights. She was also hopped up on pain meds, and was totally laid back during her time. Some people found her very boring, but I thought it was nice to see someone not screaming. She was very much like late comer Freddie Flintoff who won IACGMOOH in Australia.

While it made for good entertainment initially, it started to get boring very quickly as a viewer, and I certainly can’t imagine how torturous it was for the rest of the poor celebrities living in that house. We as viewers could simply hit mute, or turn the telly off altogether when it got too loud. The rest of the people on the show had to live with it, 24/7. It’s no wonder that people walked out. I’m not sure I could have dealt with it. It’s a good thing they had cameras rolling non stop, or Celebrity Big Brother could have turned in Celebrity Cluedo real quick. Perez certainly loved to tell the producers people were threatening him. Of course, anytime he threatened someone, he was “just talking smack.”

Ideally, the best way to be on these shows is as the host. You get to see all the drama, meet all the celebs, but you get to go home to peace and quiet every night. Best of both worlds. Chris Brown and Julia Morris were fabulous on IACGMOOH, and who doesn’t love Ant & Dec? I’m currently girl crushing on Emma Willis. She has the most perfect pixie cut I’ve ever seen.

It’s got to be tough casting these shows. You’ve got to find the right balance of eye candy, real celebrities, and of course, drama. You’ve got to be careful not to alienate your audience by having total drama queens like Perez, who have turned many people off CBB altogether. I’m guessing after this season’s bullshit, they’ll have a hard time getting people to agree to go on the next season. (or it will be very expensive to get them) They should probably go back to only having a couple of foreigners, not half the cast. Or throw a token Aussie in the middle of the two. I bet there’s a bunch of expat Aussie celebs living in the UK who’d jump at being on there. How many Neighbours and Home & Away people live there now? Surely one of them would do it.

I think that Australia does a pretty good job of casting these shows. While there’s a bunch of couch surfers who whine about there being no “big names” on there, the last few versions of Aussie celebreality shows have been pretty good. Having been out of country for so long, I don’t always know who some of the people are, but I get to know them, and love or hate them because of their time on there. There always seems to be a good mix of old and new talent, and they do a nice job of picking people who will be laid back at the beginning, and let the drama unfold naturally. Sometimes they’re a little too laid back, but it’s certainly better than the constant screaming that the US versions have.

It’s still a few months off, but I can’t wait to see who the Aussie’s pick for both Celebrity Big Brother and I’m a Celebrity. It’s a nice way for this expat to stay in touch with people back home, without trying to watch an actual long term drama. I can binge watch a whole series in a few days. I like hearing the accents, and seeing the interactions. It’s especially cool to watch people you know personally go on these shows. I think it would be awesome if they did an Aussie version of The Surreal Life as well. Of course, I’m still pushing for for any of these show to do an all Former Child Star version. (Of course, you’d be looking at an almost entire US cast there.)

Just remember celebs, if you decide to do one of these shows, don’t do a Perez. It might be ratings gold, but nobody likes an asshole.

So discuss. Who do you want to see on the next versions of these shows? Who would you hate to see on there? Is there another reality show you’d like to see a celebrity version of, or do you hate reality TV altogether?

May 20, 2015May 20, 2015

Tiny Living Laundry

I bought a Laundry Pod.

I’ve been living in an RV for a while now. I was originally in my vintage Airstream part time while I was working, and I would go home on weekends. Last year, we sold the house, and we bought a much larger toy hauler fifth wheel RV, and Matt is now enjoying tiny house living as well. We really love it. We live in an RV park, which is a tiny gated community, with a pool, spa, rec center and on site laundry. You know when you were a kid and you went on holidays to the caravan park, and how you could just relax and enjoy life, and you didn’t have to mow lawns, or clean the pool, or do any hard work, you just sat around playing with the other kids, and life was awesome? Well, it’s basically that. Except we’re adults, and we drink and BBQ with the other adults. (And no, it’s not a trailer park. There’s one of those down the street.)

The only thing I don’t love about the RV is doing laundry. We actually have a space in the RV for a washer/dryer combo unit, but we’d prefer to have the closet space. Besides, the RV park has a coin laundry. It’s not so bad in summer, when it’s just the other full timers who live here, plus, you know, people who are vacationing, but in winter, it’s crazy busy. (We’re in South Texas, and in winter all the Yankees flock to the South to get away from the cold. We call them Winter Texans, or Snow Birds.) Anyway, there’s 4 washers, and 6 dryers in the laundry room. When Matt and I go away, we generate a fair bit of laundry, but I only ever do 2 loads at a time, because I don’t want to be that asshole that hogs all the machines. Without fail though, every time I go down there, there’s an old lady who is on her phone, slowly spraying all the delicates, and hogging all four machines. It’s become a running joke. Then you have to trek up and down the park, waiting to put your laundry in. Then walk back down again to move it over, then come pick it up. I normally walk. Matt hops on the John Deere gator to go down there…. (It’s more fun than a golf cart 😉 )

I love the tiny house movement, and all the efforts people make to downsize, make a smaller footprint, and generally go green. Most of my clothes I hand wash anyway, so I decided to get a laundry pod. I’d seen quite a few different little off grid washing machines online, but this looked like the easiest to use.

I was super excited when it arrived today. (I had ordered it online) I had just put two loads in at the laundry when it arrived. It was Matt’s cargo shorts and the towels, so not stuff I would wash in the pod, but I opened it up right away and did a couple of loads of my own clothes to try it out. I’m a fan of the Meyers Clean Day laundry soaps, especially after the owner of the park said she always knows when I’m doing laundry because the scent goes upstairs. (Thankfully she said it was a good smell!) The small bottle is easy to store in our tiny space too. It’s not super sudsy, and does handwashing very nicely, without leaving a bunch of residue.

So basically, the Laundry Pod is like a giant salad spinner. I put the soap in, added some water, added the clothes, some more water to make sure they were covered, and gave it a spin. I let the clothes soak for a while, then gave it another spin. It’s kind of a workout, and if you spin for long enough, it’s like doing cardio. When you think they’re done, turn the knob on the bottom, and water flows out of the hose, which comes out from underneath. You can tuck it away when you’re not using it. Then, add a little bit more water to rinse. Spin again, open drain, and then spin like crazy to get all the water out. Just like the spin cycle on a regular washing machine.

I hung my clothes on one of those folding clothes dryer racks. Thankfully, I can set it up behind one of the RV slideouts so nobody else can see my laundry. The other cool thing about being in a toy hauler RV is I can put the rack back there in the garage to dry clothes even in the rain.

I wouldn’t say it was easier than washing and drying clothes in the regular laundry, but it did mean I could gently wash all my clothes and hang them to dry like I prefer to do anyway. I’ll probably still do most of Matt’s clothes, and of course the sheets and towels down there. But at least for my clothes, I’ll be saving a shit tonne of water. I only used a couple gallons of water to do a load. Apparently a regular machine can use 30 gallons of water for a load. That’s a crazy amount of water. I tried it out today in my tub, but I could also do it outside and use the grey water on my plants. So double green points. It also saves me some green. Doing laundry is expensive. It’s $1.25 a wash, and another $1.25 to dry. With this, I don’t even pay for electricity. Just the water I need to quench my thirst afterwards! (and the small amount of water for washing)

It’s probably not practical for large households, but if you’re like me, and doing the tiny living thing, or need something for camping, your holiday house, or the inevitable zombie apocalypse when we all have to go off grid, this seems like a pretty useful little gadget. It’s small enough for apartments and dorms, and probably even people fulltiming on boats. I’ll have to do laundry more often, instead of letting a whole pile of clothes build up, but that’s ok. I need to cull a bunch of my wardrobe anyway.

I know, I’m easily amused, but it’s always the small stuff that makes me happy.

May 19, 2015

Hollywood Body Dismorphia

The obsession with women’s figures

I’m so glad I’m no longer in the spotlight. I enjoy eating, and I don’t center my life around the gym. I’m not fat, but I’m no supermodel either. Even though I fluctuate between a US size 4 and 6, by Hollywood standards, I’d be obese. I would be fat shamed, ala Selena Gomez, who dared to put on a couple of pounds. Something most women do. Especially when they’re on vacation, or heaven forbid, get past the age of 18.

selena-gomez-bikini-before-after — Taken from a site body shaming Selena by showing her weight gain.

All over the news lately I’ve seen unflattering pics of Selena. Yes, she gained a few pounds, but I certainly don’t consider her fat. She’s just lost tone. But the media will tear her apart for “getting fat” and letting herself go.

Most actresses and singers who became famous as pre-teens go through it at some stage. Britney Spears was body shamed when she had a couple of kids, and didn’t immediately go back to being a size 2.

normal_Britney Spears — Apparently Britney was very fat here. I think most women would be happy to look like this.

Others simply changed shape, as most females do when they get older. It’s called puberty. Your body changes. You don’t stay stick thin forever. You develop curves. Not everyone does it gracefully.

On the other end of the body dysmorphia scale, you’ve got a bunch of clearly obese actresses, which the media chooses to label as “curvy.”

Melissa-McCarthy-and-Rebel-Wilson_Plus-Model-Magazine — Hollywood’s definition of “curvy”

Everywhere you look, the media is describing women like Melissa McCarthy and Rebel Wilson as “curvy” instead of calling them fat. The word FAT is only used to describe women who used to be skinny, and have gained 10lbs. Women who are morbidly obese aren’t allowed to be called that, and are defined as curvy. I don’t get it.

Curvy means you have curves. As in, you have boobs, butt and a defined waist. Think hour glass.

sofia-vergara-emmy-awards-0916-400_0 — Sophia Vergara is the traditional definition of curvy

Sofia Vergara is curvy. Marilyn Monroe was curvy. Jessica Rabbit was curvy. Rebel Wilson is NOT curvy. Of course, all the classically curvy women can be labeled as curvy, skinny or fat, depending on whether the editor feels like praising or shaming them.

nicole-richie-weight-fluctuations-pp-sl1 — Poor Nicole Richie. She can never win. She’s always either too fat or too thin, according to the media.

This may come off as fat shaming, but it’s not meant to be. I just think that we should call a spade a spade. Stop calling obese women curvy, and stop calling thin women fat. Don’t fat shame girls taking some down time while you’re praising much bigger women.

It’s no wonder so many young girls have body dysmorphia. The media is constantly bombarding women with conflicting standards of what’s acceptable weight. When really, a person’s weight shouldn’t be anybody else’s business but their own. If you wanna be fat, be fat. If you wanna be a gym junkie, and love working out, then go for it. If you wanna be a normal looking girl, who enjoys hiking, and also some french fries, then do that. As long as you’re happy with how you look, then it shouldn’t matter what TMZ or Vogue thinks. We should be talking about these people’s talents, NOT their looks.

But, if you’re going to discuss their weight, then at least be real about it.

May 7, 2015

An Open Secret

An Open Secret finally to be screened.

Director Amy Berg made a documentary about a subject that nobody in the entertainment industry wants you to see.

You can see more about the movie at the official An Open Secret site here.

The movie had trouble finding distribution initially. Nobody in Hollywood wants this exposed. Even though everyone knows about the casting couch, people like to pretend that it’s just young starlets who are willing to sleep with a producer to get a part. Nobody wants to admit that it goes much deeper. That very young children are being abused. That young boys are being abused.

It’s important that people see there’s more to Hollywood than red carpets and award ceremonies. It’s great that someone went ahead and made a film that exposes some of the darker truths of the industry.

A concern though is whether the boys in the movie are prepared for the release. Yes, they spoke publicly, they agreed to make a movie, but are they ready for the backlash? The scrutiny? The doubters and trolls? The death threats?

I know first hand what it’s like to go through a very public accusation. I know the doubt, the threats, the victim blaming first hand. It’s hard. Harder than I could ever have imagined. Thankfully, I found a support network a couple years in, with A Minor Consideration.

We’d really like to make sure the boys in An Open Secret know that we’re all there for them. They can contact us anytime.

AMC is there for ALL kids in the industry, past or present. If you need help, if you need someone to talk to, contact AMC.

May 5, 2015

The Emporer’s new dress

Naked is the not so new black

So everyone is just in awe of Beyonce being almost naked on the red carpet at the Met Gala, in her mosquito net with sequins attached in just the right places.

Beyonceredcarpet — Beyonce at the Met Gala 2015

I get it. She has an amazing body, and wants to show it off. With two other people there in nearly identical nude dresses, I wouldn’t really say that she’s doing anything that amazing. Even bigger LOLs at the peeps who are trying to claim that Kim Kardashian ripped off her look. It’s kind of hard to rip off someone’s look, when you’re at the same event.

kim-kardashian-jlo-instagram — Kim K and JLo in matching sheer booties

Even more amusing, is all the haters trolling Jelena Karleusa. All of Bey’s fans are directing hate at the Serbian singer, because apparently since people in America are unfamiliar with her work, she is “a nobody” and that people in the US would never copy her. Actually, if you were a big star in the US, and were going to copy anyone’s style, it would be smart to pick a sassy singer from overseas who none of your own fans had heard of.

Beyonce’s dress already has comparisons. The bride to be in Coming to America, and Left Eye Lopez from TLC.

The sheer dress trend, or as I like to think of it, The Emperor’s New Red Carpet dress, is hardly new and groundbreaking. It’s been done so many times, it’s actually quite boring to me. Cher has been doing the naked sequin look forever.

Think Rihanna was risque when she did the nearly naked dress on the red carpet? Nope.

Cher showed off her nipples way before Rihanna

Now, Jennifer Lopez has been almost naked on the red carpet more times than in actual opaque fabric. Here’s just a few of her outfits.

Then there’s all these people. Some, like Natalie Portman or Nicole Kidman that you wouldn’t expect to see if sheer outfits. Some are more tasteful than others….

It seems the only real difference to whether people approve of your outfit is whether the commentators over at Fashion Police like you or not. It always amazes me that a dress on one person could be seen as “Fashion Forward” while if another celebrity wore the same thing, they’d be fined for looking like an idiot.
Case in point, Sarah Jessica Parker. If anyone else turned up in this headgear, people would be rolling on the floor with laughter. Somehow, no matter what SJP wears, it’s “just amazing“. Ugh. Sorry, I’ve never been a fan of her style. I guess at least she tried to go with the Chinese theme, which is more than can be said for any of the sheer outfits.

Maybe there’s a mosquito problem on the red carpet, and that’s why they’re all wearing this long sheer mosquito netting stuff. I get that these women spend hours hitting the gym, and are proud of their bodies, but, why can’t we just like you because you can sing, or dance, or act? Can’t we just respect you for your talent, without expecting you to be nearly naked on the red carpet?

May 5, 2015May 5, 2015

A Secret Safe to Tell – Video

A Secret Safe to Tell

Naomi Hunter, who wrote the book, A Secret Safe to Tell has made a video reading of her book. It’s a book about a child disclosing their abuse secret. Watch it with your kids.

A Secret Safe To Tell Video

May 1, 2015May 1, 2015

Drug Dealer deaths

Two Aussie’s are heros?

I’ve stayed away from talking about the death of the two men executed in Indonesia. Two men who were drug traffickers. Two men who took drugs into a country that they knew had a death penalty if caught.

bali nine duo — Andrew Chan and Myuran Sukumaran. Photo: Anta Kesuma

These two men, Andrew Chan and Myuran Sukumaran, are convicted drug dealers. They never claimed to be innocent, and were executed, with the possibility of being innocent. They knew what they were doing. They moved drugs. Drugs that kill people. People seem to forget, while mourning the death of these two, that these two may have caused the death of other people as well.

I know I’m prejudiced. I spent three years working on the Mexican border, in an intel office monitoring illegal activity. Human trafficking, money laundering and narcotics. I think people in Australia, who are the largest consumers of illegal drugs, have no idea what goes on to get those drugs to them. People just live in a happy bubble, and think their coke and heroin just magically appear on their local dealers door, where he gives them a little bit to party with. What people don’t see, is the thousands of people who are killed each year. Not even from taking drugs. Hundreds of thousands of people have died in the drug war. Cartels in Mexico have killed over 60,000 people in 6 years. They kill each other over turf. Over trafficking routes. Over exportation lines. It’s insane what people just in Mexico do to keep the flow of drugs going, and it’s not just Mexico. It’s happening all over the world. So if just Mexico has 60k dead in 6 years, you can imagine how large the number of dead in the global drug trade.

I’ve seen the executions. I’ve seen the torture. I’ve seen what people are capable of doing to each other in the name of drugs. Things a person should never, ever see. Things that will give you nightmares. So when I see these two drug dealers being elevated to martyrdom status, it just makes me angry. These two dealt in death. These two contributed to the war. If they hadn’t been caught, they may have ended up executed not by the government of Indonesia, but by another drug trafficker.

I understand that people think these two have reformed. That they repented, and were no longer bad boys. However, I’m betting anyone will say that they’ve reformed when faced with an execution. The calls on the Australian government, and Tony Abbott in particular to “grow a pair” and “go save our boys” was ridiculous. First off, the Australian government went above and beyond to try to have these two pardoned. Second, Indonesia is a massive country, with a population that far exceeds that of Australia. Diplomatic relations means you can’t just send in a Seal Team to rescue them. Third, they’re not “boys”. They were grown men, who knew what they were doing was wrong. Fourth, could you imagine the anger if another government jumped on a jet to Australia and demanded that their countries prisoners should be handed over and set free?

I understand that Australian’s don’t agree with the death penalty. I agree that it doesn’t work. It’s not a true deterrent. However, people know that Indonesia has a death penalty, and if you’re stupid enough to take drugs in anyway, then you’re going to be given the death penalty if you’re caught.

Instead of creating scholarships in their name, as the Catholic University is doing, making these two out to be Saints, maybe the government could do more to teach people about the effects of drugs, and stop the trade in drugs. Maybe Australians should educate themselves, and see that when they do a little coke on friday night, and they think they’re not really harming anyone, they should take a look around the world and see where that coke came from, and how many people died to get it to them.

http://www.borderlandbeat.com/ has some interesting articles in English that show the effects of the drug trade in Mexico. If you can read Spanish, or use the Google translation tool, have a look at http://www.blogdelnarco.com/ Don’t watch the videos unless you have a strong stomach… I haven’t included any graphics here, because they are too graphic for most people, but all you need to do is an image on search Mexico drug deaths, and you’ll see a bullet to the heart was a quick death compared to most.

March 30, 2015

Sprint’s Deceptive Trade Practices

Why can’t Sprint unlock an iPhone?

So back in 2012 I bought an iphone 5 from Sprint. They assured me that I could use the phone anywhere in the world, and they could unlock the phone. Now, they did unlock it internationally (or they say they did, I haven’t tested it yet), but I’m trying to get them to unlock it domestically. I am well and truly out of contract, and live in an area with crappy Sprint coverage. So, I’m going to change providers. I don’t want to upgrade to a new phone, because there is nothing wrong with the phone I have.

Phone support gives me a “code” that I need to take to the next provider. But the other providers have no idea what to do with it. Even Apple says that Sprint has to unlock the phone themselves. Each customer care person gives me a totally different reason on why they can’t unlock it, and that it’s someone else’s dept.

I got a new SIM card from another provider, but they said that Sprint had to unlock the phone. They had no idea what to do with the code.

I go home, and call up phone support.

So the guy from the call center today said to take my code to the Sprint store, where they would hook it up to a computer, and they would unlock it.

I drove to the store, and they said they they weren’t a “tech” store, and that I had to take the phone home, and insert the new SIM card, and then connect it to itunes. – No, that didn’t work.

I get online, and talk to the chat people. Again, back to have the new people unlock it.

Twitter people tell me that the phone can’t be unlocked with the MSL. THEY have to do it.

So back on the phone to customer support. She’s trying to tell me I have to take the code to the new carrier, and I explain all the bullshit I’ve already been through today, and that her code is worthless. So now I’m waiting while she tries to find out if there’s another way to do this…

Sprint Legal tries to tell people that even if they do unlock the phone, it probably won’t work on another provider. So they’re trying to tell me that when I bought the phone, and asked if I could use this phone anywhere, and they told me yes, they were either lying because it can’t be used anywhere, or they’re lying now. Honestly, I don’t understand how a phone can be used in Taiwan, India, Australia, South Africa or Italy, but it can’t be used on another provider within the USA. It’s deceptive trade practices. They can unlock the phone, but they choose to just send people round and round till they give up. Now I understand why the FCC had to step in and make a law forcing carriers to unlock phones. If customers have paid for them, are are not longer under contract, it’s wrong to not hold the phone hostage to that network.

Meanwhile, I’m not sitting here waiting for the customer service people to call back and give me their latest excuse for why they can’t unlock my phone….

And they just called back, and she keeps telling me that I need to go to AT&T, and give them the code, and then they’ll unlock it.

Sprint, you suck. You’re breaking the law by not unlocking my phone, and I’m betting there’s enough other unhappy people out there to start a class action lawsuit.

March 25, 2015

Monica Lewinsky Ted Talk

Monica Lewinsky: The Price of Shame

If you haven’t seen the Monica Lewinsky Ted Talk yet, watch it here.

Most people just think of Monica as that intern that sucked a president’s dick. You don’t think of her as a person. As a real life, living breathing person, with feelings. Here, she makes you realize that not only is she a person, but a little bit of what she went through.

It brought me to tears.

She is absolutely right in her speech. “Public shaming as a blood sport has to stop.” People are so busy vilifying people online, but they’re not attempting to find a useful solution to situations. Even as recently as last week, with the John Laws drama. People called for him to be sacked, people called for him to be cast aside, but nobody looked at the bigger issue. Yes, Laws is a dinosaur, but honestly, even as a victim, there are times when I have no idea what to say to people. I have people share with me their abuse ALL the time, but sometimes, it’s in a situation you don’t expect, and it can throw you off guard. When you’re not expecting it, sometimes words fail you. Which is why I suggested sensitivity training. It’s probably something that ALL journalists and media people should do, because you just never know what someone will share with them. If it’s going to be live on air, they need to be prepared for it.

I think what really struck me about her interview is that I know what she went through. Certainly not on the scale she did. But, when I first went public about what happened to me, it was insane how I was attacked online. I had emails, tweets and blog comments telling me all kinds of awful things. The media dissected me. Talk shows discussed whether I was telling the truth, or if it was all a ploy to sell a scuba show. I woke up one morning to a morning show with a screen cut in four, as a bunch of people discussed my abuse. (Or lack of)

Maybe it’s hard for people to have empathy until they’ve been in such a situation. I know that I’ve certainly changed my habits over the last 5 years. I like to think I was always willing to give people the benefit of the doubt, but now, I really feel for people who have been the object of a lynch mob in the new media.

I hope you never have to go through what some people do. You can help by thinking before you tweet, text, comment or youtube your opinion. Remember, the person you’re dealing with, is a real live person, with feelings, just like you.

March 19, 2015

How do you educate the ignorant?

What’s to be done with John Laws?

I’m feeling kinda conflicted over the whole John Laws thing. While part of me is rejoicing that people are up in arms over his pitiful interview, I fear that it’s going to turn into a lynch mob. People are already demanding he be fired, and while I certainly wouldn’t shed a tear if he was let go, I know it’s just not going to happen. So we need to find a realistic solution.

John Laws is old. Very old. His views are archaic, and honestly, I’m surprised anyone still listens to him. But then I went to pot luck dinner an hour ago at the RV park where I live, and the old people were discussing about how the government was wasting time talking about putting a woman on currency. So I guess there are still people who think the way Laws does…

Anyway, Laws has the Golden Microphone. He still pulls in millions in advertising. The station is simply not going to fire him. They’re probably secretly loving all the publicity. They’ve got thousands of people listening now who probably didn’t even know John was still alive. So, what’s to be done?

This is now the second time Laws has done a truly awful interview with a sexual abuse victim. This time, he said that a couple people had tried it on him when he was a lad, but he pushed them off. So it is because he was able to escape an encounter that he has no sympathy? Or is it more? Is it that he doesn’t know how to deal with it, so he gets defensive and brash? When he went on to the next caller, he talked about how abuse ruins lives. How people are affected forever by it, so it’s not like he doesn’t understand. He just has absolutely no tact when it comes to dealing with the victim.

I was discussing it offline with Peter Ford, and he said the station assured him that they had arranged for help for Brian. Because let’s be honest here, Brian is the real issue. Everyone is focusing on Laws, but what about Brian? The man was left weeping, and when Laws asked him to say Thank You, my heart sank. Many abusers make their victims say the same thing. I hope the station is truly getting help for Brian, and not just saying it to save face. At first I thought we needed to find Brian, but being a recluse, the publicity might just make it worse. I just hope he sees all the angry people out there, and understands that people DO care. He has people he can turn to, and he has places where he can go for help.

It’s awful that Brian went to the police back in the day, and he was told to move on. I’m so grateful that we’re finally moving on from those days. (Well, in the last couple years anyway… One of the other Hey Dad victims had been to the police previously too) I truly hope that if anyone was to go to the police now, that something would be done about it. That if someone was to call up a radio station (well, anyone except John Laws) and that they would be treated with respect. They would be heard, and talked to with empathy and compassion.

Honestly, I don’t know what to do about John Laws. He won’t be fired, so we have to come up with a way to make him see what an archaic, soulless man he comes across as. I know sensitivity training sounds weak, but it’s a good start. Maybe sit down with a few victims? (although I doubt any would sit down with him)

All I know is that while I’m so glad to see everyone so angry over this, I know that there has to be a way to fix it. For all involved.

Of course, if he was fired over this, I wouldn’t cry. He’s way past retirement age, and he’s got zillions of dollars, so it’s not like we’re sending an old man to the unemployment line. Plus, they fired those awful people from X Factor NZ fired for their tirade. Surely this is just as horrible.

You know what? Go ahead and fire him. Make an example of him. But make him do the sensitivity training first.

For the record – I don’t think that firing someone everytime they say something is stupid is the answer. If it was, everyone would be fired at some point. But John Laws really should bow out after this one.

Most importantly, let’s think about Brian, and all the other victims of abuse out there. Think about how YOU might react if someone opens up to you. We can all learn from this. We can all think about how we’d react if someone disclosed their abuse to us, and how to make sure that we don’t end up treating them like Laws did to Brian. We’ve all said something stupid, or something insensitive, or something we regretted and wished we could take back. Let’s use this as an opportunity to grow, and not just one to vent our anger on a stupid old man. Let’s turn this negative into a positive.