Jan 122013

A chance for ALL our voices to be heard

I’m so happy that Julia Gillard is pressing on with the Royal Commission into child abuse. I’m so grateful for people like Detective Inspector Peter Fox who had the balls to go on television and talk about it when no-one else would. I’m grateful to all the people from all the different support groups that kept up the fight for all these years.

When I was asked to go public, I wasn’t sure about it. I was tired of seeing other kids in the industry falling to pieces after all they had been through. I knew I didn’t want any other kids to go through what I did. I was very fortunate that I was able to speak in magazines and on television about my abuse. I copped a lot of shit about it. Hell, people on the whirlpool forum are still bitching about me having gone on TV to talk about it. I’m glad I did it though. The last three years have changed me so much personally. Being able to talk about it, being able to let it go and not keep it inside anymore has changed my whole outlook on life. Sure, there were super hard days, there were days when I was so heavily criticized I wondered if I had done the right thing.

I was grateful I had started a discussion. I was happy that people were finally openly talking about abuse, even if they were bitching about me while doing it. The main point was, it was no longer a taboo subject.

My only sadness was when people commented that while it was great that I could talk about it, because I was given that platform where I could, what about all the other victims out there. The ones who weren’t famous enough to go on TV and talk about it. What about them? Would they ever be given that opportunity to speak? It’s true, it’s not fair that some people get the opportunity to be heard while other don’t.

Well, now they have. I’m so glad that EVERY victim of child abuse out there will be given the opportunity to tell their story. That we can all go forward, we can all add our piece. We can all seek a little bit of justice.

I hope that everyone uses this opportunity to be heard. I know it can be tough. It can be very scary to talk about your past. It can be horrific reliving it while talking about it. It can be soul baring. But it’s totally worth it. It might take a while for you to realize the difference the talking has made, but it will make a difference.

I urge all of you to take this opportunity to tell your story. Do it for yourself. Do it for the others before you, and do it for the others behind you. If we all stand up and talk about the past, hopefully the ones in the future won’t have to….

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Oct 222012

Elvis is Alive and I’ve pissed him off!

I’ve been too busy to do anything to my website lately, but today I had a few minutes and I thought I’d clean out the tonne of spam. There was a couple of legitimate comments in there, including one from Elvis…. Apparently he’s not a happy camper.

We all had a good laugh about it at the office. I guess if I piss the Pedobears off this bad it means I’m doing something right.

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Jul 272012

Connecting with famous people through Social Media.

I love the internet. I love Social Media. I even used to work at a SEO company, and actually got to sit on FaceBook and Twitter all day long. I wrote blogs for several companies and helped  others understand Social Media and how to incorporate it into their business.

Since going public with the past a couple years ago, Social Media has been a mixed bag of fish for me. It was pretty vindicating using television as a medium to share my story. I had been abused in a television environment, so using it as the tool to go public and share what happened to me was a great way of taking that tool and re-purposing it.

As the story broke in Woman’s Day, I was still in Texas. I didn’t even know it had been published, till I saw it online on the WD website. Internet forums starting to go crazy with the story. I was watching the ACA and TT websites as they had coverage of interviews with other people. Then ACA sent Peter Stefanovic to my house in Texas to interview me. We used Skype to stay in contact with people in Australia, trying to figure out just how crazy big things had blown out of control. We were all watching forums like Whirlpool Hey Dad scandal thread. (Which is now several hundred pages over 3 different threads) Twitter went crazy. Hey Dad actually trended for a little bit there. People made all kinds of FaceBook pages. It seemed like everyone who had access to a keyboard had an opinion on the issue.

I got lots of emails, both good and bad. I had people commenting on my website. I was watching the twitter feed to see what people were saying.

I am now very sensitive about what I say about other people on Social Media. I know that people, even celebrities and famous people, or those like me who are simply in the news, do actually read the internet. We do use Twitter. We can see what people are saying about us. Unfortunately, about a good 80-90% of it is negative…

Before saying how much you hate someone on Twitter or in a forum, think about how YOU would feel if someone said that about you. Then imagine you’re reading that while you’re already under a whole heap of stress. It was hard enough going public, laying my soul bare, telling people about my past, without then having thousands of people judge me and post everywhere that I was simply a money grubbing publicity whore seeking an extra 15 minutes of fame and a way to sell Going Down. I was trying to do the right thing. I was trying to speak out about abuse. I was using the medium I was comfortable in, since that was what I knew. I was trying to make an impact, getting the message out there. I had expected there to be some negative reaction, I didn’t expect to see people slamming me on places like Expecting Mothers message boards. I could only imagine what they would be like if their kids came to them for help one day….

Anyhow, over the last couple of years I’ve changed a lot. I have a new outlook on life, and a new outlook on Social Media, as well as celebrities.

I just want to remind people that celebrities and other people in the spotlight are people too. They have good days and bad days. They have feelings, just like you and me. Just like you wouldn’t like it if a bunch of people talked shit about you, celebs aren’t immune to people talking smack about them. I’m sure Liesel doesn’t appreciate people talking about her figure while she’s preparing for the Olympics, (she’s a fucking swimmer people, not a Victoria’s Secret Model) or even Rihanna tweeting that her performance sucked in Sweden, when they didn’t know her Grandma had just died. There are so many cases I can think of when people are coming down on others when all they really need is a hug. I love that Sophie Monk, Piers Morgan and Ricky Gervais are witty in replies, but I’m sure they’re not totally immune either.

Being mean on Twitter is just another form of cyberbullying. Celebs aren’t immune.

So, I thought these Jimmy Kimmel clips were funny. It’s a great way to remind people that Celebrities are human just like us. It’s presented in a funny way, but it has a good meaning behind it. There’s a few of them on YouTube. Go watch, and next time, think before you tweet.

BTW, I’m @shrimptank on twitter.

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Protecting the Guilty

Posted by Sarah on July 22, 2012 at 12:41 pm Laws, Life, hey dad sex scandal, media 6 Responses »
Jul 222012

What about the victims rights?

So when I went public with my case, there was a couple of things I wanted to achieve. I wanted to make parents aware of what really goes on in the industry, I wanted people to take better care of their kids, and I wanted to change some laws. That was over two years ago. I’m not supposed to be blogging or talking about the case. I’m supposed to be silent while the police are investigating. At first, it was frustrating. I had been asked to go public, I did. It turned into a media circus that I wasn’t prepared for. However, I found my strength, and made it through a couple of the hardest weeks of my life, and I found the courage to stand up and scream. Unfortunately, right as I found that courage, I was asked to shut up and go hide under a rock. At first I was pissed off. Why ask me to go through that, get me fighting, and then ask me to hide again? It was very frustrating. Occasionally I would break my silence, only to get angry calls from Australia, reminding me to be quiet. Eventually I simmered down. I’ve changed a lot over the last 2 years. I have found a quiet strength in myself I didn’t know I had. I’ve also learnt patience. I now figure I waited 17 years to go public, what’s a couple more years for the police to do a thorough job? Thankfully Australia doesn’t have a Statute of Limitations on rape or child assault cases, unlike the US.  The Jerry Sandusky case took investigators 2 years, and that guy is never gonna see light again, so I’m ok with the wait. At least I got to scream his name out load. I got to tell everyone. I got to warn others of what he’s like. I also empowered many more girls to come forward and speak of their own abuse. I’ll never be able to express how awesome it is to receive emails from other girls who tell you that you gave them to strength to tell their own stories. Other women and men tell me that because I spoke up, they found the strength within themselves to tell their families of their own abuse. Many have been to the police and laid charges against their attackers. Some of them have even already been to court. Knowing you started a chain reaction makes you feel that you had a purpose in life. I still hope to change laws in Australia. I want to make the entertainment industry a safer place for kids. I want to make the world a safer place for kids. I would like Australia to set up a sex offender registry like we have in Texas. I want offenders to have their faces, names and addresses on a website where people can go and see if there’s any bad people living around them. I don’t believe any of the bullshit about vigilantes. We used the site when we had our exchange student so we could make sure she was safe on her way to school. We saw there was an offender on her route. We advised her to avoid going near that house. We showed her the photo of the guy so she would recognize him in case he tried to approach her. It wasn’t to scare her. It was just a self defense system. I use it when I’m on the road to make sure I don’t have some rapist next door to me, who seems nice asking for a cup of sugar…

I also don’t believe the crap about naming the offender will let people know who the child is. Considering that most pedophiles molest about 60 kids before they’re even caught, how could naming the one offender lead to his victim being known? The registry just has a general offense, such  as lewd act with a minor, or aggravated sexual assault of a child. It doesn’t name the child. It doesn’t say whether it was a relative or stranger. All it does is warn others that the person is a threat and to keep their kids away from them.

I hope one day to also get rid of the stigma attached to being a victim. I hate the world victim. I am no longer a victim. As a small child, a very sick individual did bad things to me. That is in no way my fault. I tried to do something about it. I told other people. Unfortunately, some equally worthless adults, much like Joe Paterno were involved. The culture of the stigma surrounding child abuse led to the silence, and therefor allowed more abuse to occur. We need to teach kids it’s not their fault. We need to empower them to speak up. We need to stop treating people like victims and like they’re contagious. We need to help them find their strength again. We need to teach them that shit happens, and we’re going to help them get over. I have no doubt that what happened to me made me who I am today. I’m also sure that speaking up 2 years ago has changed me tremendously. I found my strength. I found my voice. I became a warrior.

So while I spend my days being a literal warrior wearing my uniform, and channel my energy into my job in a Law Enforcement Intelligence Center, which is great because I get such a buzz every time we send out a BOLO and we actually capture some predator, occasionally I read some article which makes me want to come out screaming again. It’s hard to be patient when I read shit like this:

US girl faces jail for naming attackers

A KENTUCKY teenager is facing contempt of court charges for tweeting the names of the two teens who pled guilty to sexually assaulting her, in a case that inspires questions about the uses of social media in the legal system.

Seventeen-year-old Savanna Dietrich tweeted the names of the boys in response to the frustration she felt over her attackers plea bargain.Now, Dietrich could face an $US500 ($481) fine and up to 180 days in jail for the act if she is found guilty of being in contempt of the court. Her contempt hearing is scheduled for July 30. According to Dietrich, the sexual assault occurred when she passed out at a party last year.

Her attackers then molested her, and they also allegedly videotaped the incident and shared it with their friends online.

After Dietrich visited police with her parents, the juvenile defendants were charged with first-degree sexual abuse and misdemeanor voyeurism, reports the Louisville Courier Journal. But Dietrich says she was extremely unhappy with the “slap on the wrist” plea bargain her attackers were given.

Enraged, she took to her Twitter account determined to publicly expose the boys for their act. “They said I can’t talk about it or I’ll be locked up,” one of her tweets read. “So I’m waiting for them to read this and lock me up. ____ justice.

“Protect rapist is more important than getting justice for the victim in Louisville.”

She reiterated in a Courier Journal interview that she was fully prepared to pay the price for her actions. “I’m at the point, that if I have to go to jail for my rights, I will do it,” Dietrich told the Louisville paper. “If they really feel it’s necessary to throw me in jail for talking about what happened to me … as opposed to throwing these boys in jail for what they did to me, then I don’t understand justice.”

Here’s a girl was was attacked, the guys taped it and posted it online. So not only did they violate her originally, but then she was humiliated again by having it shown to others. She went to the police, and the guys were given a slap on the wrist. So she goes public, and names her attackers, who one would assume would already be known, given they themselves used public domain to share their video of the attack, and she’s the one facing jail?

What the fuck is wrong with society? If these douchebags are using the internet to share their attack, she should be able to use the same internet to shame them. Their names and faces are already out there. Give her the chance to reclaim her power, her voice. Let her vent. I don’t care if her attackers were also teens and should be protected. They’re not going to turn 18 and suddenly become model citizens. They’re going to go off to college and prey on girls at frat parties.

We need to stand up as a society and change the laws. We need to start protecting the innocent. We need to teach kids to protect themselves. We need to give those that have been victims their self worth back. We need to take it away from those that do wrong.

I’ve received emails from actors here in the US letting me know they’re following my case in Australia. Unfortunately the US has a Statute on childhood abuse. However, I’m pretty sure if my case goes well, you’re going to hear a lot more people stand up and start talking about their own abuse. Hopefully then the younger ones will feel empowered to stand up for themselves too. It sucks to be a test case, with the fear of letting people down, but it’s also wonderful knowing I’ve had a positive impact on so many people, and could change some futures.

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Aug 232011

If you can’t be a good example, you’ll have to be a horrible warning.

I know what it’s like to be in the media. After going public last year, I really know what it’s like to be in the media. I know what it’s like to have every thing you say dissected, questioned, checked over and then be re-quoted incorrectly.

There’s thousands of pages on forums and blogs with people talking about what I did last year. A lot of them aren’t nice. If you have a few hours of your life to waste, drudge through the 100+ pages on the Whirlpool site. Do a Google search on me or the Hey Dad Scandal and then click blogs or discussions. It’s amazing at how many sites there are. Some of them are very supportive of me, some of them are downright scary. Like a site for expecting mothers who all call me a publicity whore. I hope their babies never come to them looking for help…. Then of course, there’s Andy Blume.

Now, at first look, Andy really is a professional c*nt, as he puts it. The first time I found his site in April of last year, as I was in the middle of the media circus, I couldn’t believe what he wrote about me. Then, as things settled down, I read through the rest of his site, to see what kind of troll he was. To be honest, a lot of Andy’s posts made me laugh, as they do a lot of other people. Andy says what a lot of people think, but don’t have the balls to say. Sure, he’s rude. Yes, he’s tasteless. But 10 years ago when I left Australia, being Politically Correct wasn’t in full swing yet. People could still take the piss out of themselves. My favourite are when he writes letters to big companies complaining of their terrible service or products. I never know if he really sends off what he’s written on the blog, or a toned down version of it, but a lot of us wish that’s what we could say. It’s what we tell our friends. It’s what we’re thinking as we write the polite version. So, after about 6 months, I forgave Andy. I understood his posts about me were part of his online character. If he had said something nice about me, people would have said, WTF Andy? We tweeted back and forth and when I did the one year update on ACA, he actually sent me a message warning me he was now going to have to do another post. I was prepared for it. It was actually pretty tame. Some of his friends made fun he had gone soft….

I’ve been working in SEO and Social Media for a few years now. Maybe it’s because I get to read so many white papers and sites on What Not To Do in Social Media and how to not lose your job with what you post on Twitter, but I thought everyone understood that what you do online affects what happens to you in real life. Employers are now looking at what you post on Facebook, Twitter and other social media sites before they hire you. What you do online can get you fired. Maybe it’s not fair and maybe it’s not catching on that fast in Australia, but in the US, many companies will give you a fact sheet on “appropriate use” of social media, and give regular reminders throughout the year. Lots of people here are laid off because of something they did online.

You don’t have to be tweeting at work. You don’t have to say anything bad about your employer. But, if you post pictures of your late night binge at some club and then call in sick the next day saying you have the flu, expect someone might see it and you’re going to get called on it.

Back in the day, there was a lot more anonymity on the internet. Today, it’s all open. A lot of young people don’t realize that what they post now will come back to haunt them. The best phrase I ever heard was “Once tweeted, never deleted” because even if you delete it off your stream, it’s cached somewhere for someone to find. You don’t even have to post something, one of your buddies could do it and tag you. Or, you could post something anonymously, but through the powers of IP tracking, the IT gurus can still work out it’s you.

Pictures on FB are held on a server for over 6 months, even if you delete them. Pick a photo, copy the URL of that page, then delete the pic. A month later, go back to that URL… Your pic is still there. Also, a lot more people have access to your private pages, and even private messages than you think. I know the police have been reading my private messages. Basically, never say anything on the internet that you wouldn’t want on a postcard or displayed on a billboard.

I’m conflicted on the Andy Blume situation. At first I thought it was funny he got caught out. But I also felt bad for him. I try not to harbor resentment against anyone and I made my peace with Andy and his blog posts about me last year. I think he should have known better than to tweet while tramming, but he was called up on it a month ago and had stopped. I give him credit for using his real name on the Internet instead of hiding behind some fake alias to be such a huge douchebag. It’s a sign of how politically correct Australia has become when you can’t just have a laugh and move on, but instead have to get offended over every little thing. All of us have done something that someone else would think makes us a horrible person. ALL OF US. Before we judge others and hate upon them, we should think about ourselves and what we’ve done in life that others might not approve of. (You know, that whole glass houses thing)

I’m sure Andy will be OK. Someone will probably offer him a job on TV…. but it’s got to suck being fired in this economy.

At this point, I’m not sure if everyone will see Andy as a warning not to tweet about their jobs and make sure they’re always PC, or if this will make people go back to having anonymous avatars and fake names. Frankly, I’m not sure which of the two is worse.

Good luck Andy. I hope you find a new job. Just remember, people are watching you now….

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Naughty boy Andy!

Posted by Sarah on August 17, 2011 at 8:32 pm Australia, Life, hey dad sex scandal, media 3 Responses »
Aug 172011

When the past catches up to you…

Today, while on FB, I noticed a picture attached to a newspaper article link and I immediately recognized the photo and I just had to laugh.

Andy Blume wrote an awful blog post about me last year. People commenting on his blog weren’t much nicer. I followed Andy on twitter and we bantered back and forth. He actually warned me before he wrote his second blog post.

I often wondered if Andy was really a tram driver. I wondered how someone could tweet while driving and get away with it. I guess this week he took a pic of someone who really didn’t like it. Or he crashed into them.

The Herald Sun wrote a story on Andy and reported his blog and twitter account to Yarra Trams. There’s even a second opinion piece…

Oh Andy, I guess now you’ll know what it’s like to be on the Internet and have people judging you.

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Hello Brazil!

Posted by Sarah on March 9, 2011 at 8:05 am hey dad sex scandal No Responses »
Mar 092011

I woke up to my tweetdeck showing a whole bunch of tweets in Portuguese with my name in the middle of it. Apparently BBC news in Brazil picked up the story. Checked out my website, and there’s a bunch of little Brazilian flags showing my hits from down there.

So I just wanted to say Olá to everyone in Brazil and I hope you’re having a great time at Carnival. I hope to make it down your way one day.

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Sarah MonahanThe year in review.

Even though “the scandal” broke in March and there has been a media blackout since, I still managed to make quite a few lists at the end of the year.

Here’s a few of them:

Where the story broke; We made number 4 on the most read articles on the Woman’s Day site.

Since we were the highest rating story of the year, I kinda expected the ACA one… Cool video of the top moments of theyear. LOVE the dogman!

Channel nine also had a video with the Top TV moments of 2010.

We made Scandal of the Year in the Sydney Confidential Awards.

Even the New Zealanders put me on their list!

Who Magazine put me in their “Newsmakers” section for the December 2010 issue, Best and Worst of 2010.

Even Google trends shows the Hey Dad Scandal made the number 5 spot.

Of course, while nobody wants to make end of year lists for Scandals,  it was great to see the nation talking about Child Abuse, and I was very honored to become an Ambassador for Bravehearts.

Of course, someone had to include us on a not so nice list… The Wankley’s.  Honestly, I think Tracey Grimshaw is a lovely woman. The entire staff at Channel 9 was very professional, and I’m very grateful that they handled the case the way they did. Because so many people came forward to ACA, who were put in touch with the police, the police have been conducting their investigation for many, many months now. It meant it wasn’t just a he said/she said and the detectives didn’t have to go track down hundreds of people from 20 years ago. They had a slew of people coming to them instead. It amuses me the way the people who say I shouldn’t have spoken to ACA because it’s just about dodgy builders and supermarket prices can’t be pleased when ACA actually does hard hitting stories. Oh well. Boo hoo for them.

Now, I just sit back and wait while the police finish their investigation…. Hopefully, next time I make a list, it will be for something happy.

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Sep 032010

National Child Protection Week

A study has just been released in Australia that says that just one third of Australians would call police if a child told them they were being sexually abused.

The results, released on Wednesday, showed that 48 per cent of people would not take action in clear-cut examples of child abuse for fear they might be wrong, while 42 per cent said they did not think it was their business. But most of the 22,000 people surveyed by the National Association for Prevention of Child Abuse and Neglect (NAPCAN) believed child abuse was a serious issue.

Since March, when I went public with my own history of abuse, there has been literally thousand of blogs, forums and tweets discussing my case. So many people couldn’t believe that it had been allowed to happen. People are outraged. People all claim that they would have done something. However, if you were really put in that spot, would you have? This study shows, maybe not.

People have judged me for going public. A lot of people are upset by the “Trial by Media”. However, I wouldn’t have done it any differently if I had to do it over again. By going public, it has forced people to talk about it. It’s forced people to think about what they would do if confronted by the same situation. It made witnesses come forward and talk to the police about it. People who otherwise may have been too scared to speak, in case they heard the infamous, “You’ll never work in this country again” line. Unfortunately, TV in Australia is a tiny community. People are terrified of speaking out of school. It’s very easy to be blacklisted and never work again. I have no doubt that if this was not public that many people would still be denying knowledge of the situation because they’d be scared to talk about it.

I really hope that by speaking out, that parents are thinking very hard about whether to put their kids into acting or modeling. I hope that if they are in the biz, they’re watching their kids like hawks.

I hope that people will get the courage to speak up if they see abuse. If a kid tells you something is not right, go investigate it for yourself if you don’t believe them. Then go to the police. Then get your kid some help. Call Bravehearts or any other child advocacy group.

Don’t let happen to your kids what happened to me. Don’t be the 2/3rds of Australia that would just look the other way. Even if it’s not your kid. It’s your job to protect them. They came to you, they asked for your help. Do the right thing and get them the help they need.

Go to the Bravehearts website to learn more about Breaking the Silence on Child Sexual Assault.

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Aug 172010

I’m headed to Florida!

So after the whole “Hey Dad Sex Scandal” broke, I decided I wasn’t going to do any work on Going Down for a while. I didn’t want people to think the only reason for going public was to create publicity for the show, so I decided to just put it on hold for a while.
Then, with the end of summer fast aproaching, I started to feel a little depressed that I didn’t get any diving in this year. So, I was so excited to see that at least David was doing some exciting stuff with the Formula H2O racing. After blogging about it, we talked on the phone, and he says, “Why don’t you come down and film it?”  I thought about it and it sounded super exciting. A weekend in sunny Ft. Lauderdale, filming some cool scuba adventures. I was thinking, I can’t really put my life on hold forever, waiting for this to go to trial. I have to get on with life. So, I said, let me talk to Matt.

So, having decided I wasn’t going to let Oz hold me back, the only thing left was dealing with the financials of going. It’s pretty last minute. It’s already Tuesday, and the event starts Friday. Last minute tickets are super pricey, and I’m super cheap. err, Frugal. It’s what makes me a good producer. So I look at tickets. We could get down there for just under $400 each. But then there was still hotel, car, gear and diving. I was still on the fence.

Driving home, stuck in traffic, I remembered that Matt’s Mom had offered us reward tickets she had on Southwest. I wondered if she still had them and if they had weird restrictions like you had to book them 2 weeks in advance and only on a full moon. So I got home, told Matt about filming in Florida, and asked if his Mom still had the tickets, if he wanted to go. He said he had to work, but that I should go. So I called his Mom and she said to get online and find the flight I wanted and she’d get the ticket.

We then headed off to a big family dinner. It was Matt’s great Aunts birthday. About 20 people all got together for some BBQ. I was in a super good mood and was so happy when Matt’s grandpa, who’s just adorable told his sister that I was his favourite grandkid. He melts my heart!

Then it was off back home. I was looking at the host hotel everyone is staying at and they didn’t have prices listed on their website, which made me nervous. I got on travelocity, to see reviews and to get an idea of prices. Then, like he was reading my mind, David emailed and said to call the hotel direct and tell them I was with the racing group. Their price was $59 a night. Score! It’s right on the beach too.

So then all I had to worry about was diving. It’s not cheap in Texas. Since I was flying back Monday midday, I would be able to dive Saturday and Sunday. The scuba shop sponsoring the event, South Florida Diving was running two dive trips for $55 a day. Both days are only $110. That’s so cheap!

David then emails and says there’s going to be a bunch of underwater cameras, and they’re willing to share film, so all I have to worry about it filming topside. Then of course, editing. 

So, I’m stoked. I get to go to Ft. Lauderdale, which I’ve never been to before. I get to go diving. I get to see some cool Formula H20 Racing. I get to spend the weekend with David and his girl Dee. I get to do some filming for Going Down and I don’t have to worry about breaking my budget. Thanks Mom!

Life is good.

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