Are they the worst parents on Earth?

Well, maybe not, but they’re certainly not in line for any parent of the year awards either.

You see it all the time here. Child stars who are screwed over by their parents. Gary Coleman had all his money taken, Lindsay Lohan has two equally screwed parents. One’s in an out of jail, the other used her as a way to skip the line at clubs and get free ice-cream. Macaulay Culkin had some winner parents, fighting not over him, but his funds. There’s more screwed over former child stars than I can list.

Of course, there’s some good ones in the group. Unfortunately, it seems like it’s a 8/2 ratio. The eight being the bad parents. Most stage parents are like the ones in the Bruno video above. They don’t give a shit about their kids safety, or if the kid wants to do it or not. All they can think about is living vicariously through their kids, or paying the rent.

The average kid in Hollywood goes on 90 auditons for each one they get. They get told they’re not cute enough, they’re too fat, they sound funny. That’s so much rejection for a little person to deal with. Their parents keep dragging them to the next audition though, just in case this one is their “Big Break”.

I’ve met some great stage parents. When I was teaching acting classes, there was some parents who brought their kids along because they thought it would be a great way for their kids to learn some confidence, get to play with other kids, learn to speak in public. Then there’s the ones who don’t care that their kid hates the class. They want their kid to learn so they can pack off to Hollywood and live off their kid. They didn’t care how much classes cost, it was all just an investment in their future.

I think parents shouldn’t try to live vicariously through their kids. I also don’t think they should expect their kids to pay the bills. At least here in the US, they now have to put the majority of the money in trust, but there’s still ways around it. Kids can make millions of dollars and still be broke and unemployed when they’re 18.

It’s a parents job to protect their kids. If parents are expoiting their kids, and the kid is a working enough to support themselves, they should be able to emancipate themselves from their parents, like Michelle Williams did. Most working child stars act more grown up than their parents anyway.

Are you kidding me?

After yesterday’s post on Mary Kate talking about her childhood and seeing all the comments from people dissing celebs who don’t always appreciate the attention, I was amazed to find how many photographers are now latching on to the fake paparazzi thing. Take for example, Celeb 4 a Day. This is an entire agency devoted to making ordinary people feel like celebrities for a day, by stalking them with paparazzi for an hour. Seriously. For $250, they’ll stalk you for 30 minutes, snapping pics and asking you about yourself. If you want to feel like a mega star, you can spend $1500 and have your own bodyguard and publicist and 6 paparazzi who’ll follow you for 2 hours.

For $1500, Matt and I could spend a week in Mexico in a beautiful resort. Airfare included. Seriously, what kind of attention starved individual would pay $1500 for 2 hours to feel like a celeb? What’s worse, is that for 2 hours, it might be a lot of fun. Then said individual will try to work out how to be in the spotlight more. (Yes, I’m talking about you Kim Kardashian) Then, years later, when they are an actual celeb, they’ll start to hate the same paparazzi, the ones who they no longer have pay for, but who continue to stalk them.

A quick Google search shows that even regular photo studios are offering paparazzi packages. You just give them your regular schedule, and they’ll be hiding behind tress, waiting to take real life shots of you. Now, I’m a fan of candid shots, I like real life action shots much better than posed photos. However, calling it a paparazzi package and catering to people’s need to be famous just seems kinda sick.

I guess the grass is always greener on the other side. Those who live as ordinary citizens wish for the perceived glamour and lifestyle that stars get. Celebs wish they could just blend in and go get some Starbucks without being stalked. I guess since I grew up on TV, cameras were just part of growing up. I always longed to be an ordinary person. I’d hate to be a celebrity these days. Maybe the 2 hour package is long enough for people to realize it’s not that great. My Woman’s Day photo shoot was fun at first. It had been a while since I got to play dress up, and it’s always nice to have someone else do your hair and make-up. Matt didn’t realize just how long a photo shoot lasts and holding a smile for more than an hour is tiring! We both went home exhausted. I was very happy to go back to being a nobody again after that day. Well, until I had to fly to Oz and then hide out while there… After that, Matt said he had never seen me so happy to get back to San Antonio.

It’s a pity the Celeb 4 a day people aren’t in San Antonio. I’m a good photographer and it could be fun to be on the other side of the camera for a change….

‘I would never wish my upbringing on anyone’

This seems to be a recurring statement among former child stars. This time, it’s been uttered by Mary Kate Olsen, one half of the Olsen twins who grew up on Full House.

The twins started on Full House when they were only a year old. They appeared in dozens of movies and were self made millionaires by the time they were 10 years old. On paper at least, they’ve been producers since they were kids and are now successful entrepreneurs, with their own fashion line.

Like most Former Child Stars, they feel like they missed something from their youth. They didn’t get to do normal kid stuff. While other kids were out playing and having a good time, they were inside working, expected to act like adults.

Reading comments on the twins, especially in the article linked above, people just don’t get what it’s like to be a child actor. Everyone says, Boo Hoo, Poor you and think you’re a spoilt brat. Sure, she may have money, but money can’t buy you happiness. It can’t buy you love and it can’t buy your sanity.

Everywhere these girls go, they’re scrutinized. They’re followed by cameras. They’re being judged. Most people have no idea what it’s like to be constantly talked about. People have this obsession with fame and want to be rich and famous, but they don’t get what it really means. Just because you’re out there on Twitter and giving too much information on Facebook doesn’t have any correlation whatsoever to what it’s like to really be famous.

Growing up on television and in the public eye is way harder than people think. It’s hard enough going through puberty as it is, without the entire world discussing your first period or first bra. Imagine if your first kiss is scripted. Most people fondly remember their first kiss. What is that was taken away from you by some producer who wanted you to kiss someone for a scene? How do you find your first real boyfriend? How do you know they aren’t just there for the fame? How do you lose your virginity without wondering if you’re going to end up with a sex tape?

Being a child actor sucks. There’s a reason almost everyone in the industry says they’d never let their kids act and why most former child stars agree it wasn’t a good upbringing. There’s child labour laws preventing most kids from losing their childhoods to work. Somehow, that doesn’t translate to media. It’s OK for kids to work, to be treated like adults, to be exposed to adult situations. I don’t get it. I know it would be hard to make television or movies without kids, but I still think more should be done to keep kid actors as kids and help them get the most out of being kids. Growing up too quickly fucks a lot of people up. Just because you’re famous doesn’t make it any different. It just means more people get to call you a screw up.

You know how most people don’t like their in-laws?

Thankfully, I do not have this problem. Growing up in Oz, I had 11 cousins on my Dad’s side. I don’t know how many are on my Mum’s side. She doesn’t like her family, so we really didn’t get to know them. I only knew her parents because we would go stay with them and they used to babysit me a lot. I knew she had a sister that died when she was a kid, and an older brother. I found out recently that there was in fact 2 older brothers…. The only other person on her side that I ever talked to was my cousin Allan. I always liked him, but Mum didn’t like us talking to anyone from her family, so we didn’t see him much. She hates her family so much, she didn’t even go to her own dad’s funeral…

Dad was one of 3. He was the youngest. His oldest brother had 5 kids and his sister had 4. We spent most holidays together. My aunt had a pool and so Christmas was usually at her house so we could all splash around. I remember getting together for Xmas and Easter but not many other holidays. My brother is 6 years older than me. I love him with all my heart, but we’re really not that close. I am the baby of all the cousins. Like everyone, I have my favourites. (That’s you Matthew and Julie!) However, I’ve lived here for 10 years now, and not a single relative has visited me. I bet if I lived in Hawaii, LA nor NYC, I’d be swamped with visiting relatives. I do have one Aunt who does write me nice cards and emails me. Thanks Aunty Helen. I love getting mail from you. Otherwise, I get left out of the loop. A few years ago, someone had mentioned my uncle was sick. I was one the phone home and I asked about him. Turns out he had died about 4 months earlier and nobody bothered to tell me…. I had to tell my Mum she couldn’t email me when someone died, she had to pick up the phone and call… We all have Skype. They still don’t keep me in the loop.

Matt has a large family. His dad is one of NINE kids. So when we get together for holidays, it’s HUGE and they get together for every hallmark holiday. I first met them all at his family reunion. There was about 50 people there for me to meet all at once. Matt’s an only child, and his cousins are a few years younger or older, so there’s really not anyone right around his age he grew up with. He always preferred hanging out with the adults. They like to bicker amongst each other and play favourites. It’s quite amusing. His grandpa was a sailor in WWII and is one of the sweetest people ever. His grandma was a nurse. It’s like an old Hollywood movie.

The only thing I didn’t like about all the get togethers is that they are all huggers. They want to hug you when you walk in, they’ll hug you again when you leave. They may not seem like a big deal, but when there’s 40 people in a room, and they all want to hug you, it gets a bit much, especially when you’re not a hugger. I’m fairly big on my personal space. I don’t mind kissing someone on the cheek. I’ll gladly shake your hand. But I really don’t like to hug people. I’ve gotten used to it, and I’ll hug a close friend. But to have to walk around a large room and hug everyone is just silly. I almost had them trained to just shake my hand, but there’s one uncle who insists on grabbing that extended hand, pulling me in and bear hugging me. There’s one other foreign in-law. An Aunt from France. She’s not a hugger either. One day, they were talking about her behind her back, bitching about how she didn’t like to hug. That’s when I just let it out that I didn’t like to hug them either. They all looked at me like I was crazy. Oh well. At least I’m honest about it.

We used to hang out with them more, but lately, we’re taking them in smaller doses. Several of the Aunts have been mean to Matt’s mum, so we’re boycotting them. I’ve just learnt to accept their bickering and find amusement in it. Since his head injury, Matt’s not so tolerant. Funny how just as I get over the hugging, he says we don’t have to go anymore….

We do hang out with Matt’s parents a lot. I’d say we eat with them at least once a week. I’m not sure how to describe them. His Mom is a cross between Leave it to Beaver and the Mom on That’s 70′s show. She’s super nurturing and I don’t think I’ve ever heard a bad word come out of her mouth about anybody. So it was highly amusing the other day when they came over to dinner at our house and she saw the cookbook out on the table. Matt had wanted to see the recipe for potato salad which was in the book. But when she saw the title, she questioned it. It was the Australian Women’s Weekly Beginners Cookbook. Now, bear in mind, I had just cooked a roast duck. I’ve worked in restaurant kitchens for years, including some 5 star restaurants. I make killer dishes for the family get-togethers. So, she looks down, and ever so sweetly confused, says, “Why do YOU have a beginners cookbook?” I explain that I had asked my mother for a cookbook one year, with Australian recipes in it. Now, she gets even more confused. “Why would your mother buy you a beginners cookbook?” At this point, you can see that slight shake of the head, with that does that person know this girl at all? look. It was highly amusing. Matt had to explain that a lot of the recipes that I was looking for were in that book, but I was however happy that my mother in law recognized that I was in no way a “beginner” cook and had no qualms in saying so. Truthfully, I had been slightly thrown when my mother gave me the beginners book. For some reason, she thinks my brother is a gourmet chef and I just make crap food. I think my mother in law knows and loves me way more than my mother back in Oz. I’m grateful every day that I lucked out and got such a great MIL. So many people have horror stories about their MIL. I love mine dearly and we hang out even when Matt’s out of town on business.

So I quite enjoy being over here. Even though sometimes I get sick of having to be the one to cook all the time, I do enjoy that everyone over here loves my food. People always ask what I’m going to be bringing. Our friends ask when we’re doing another party, since I always cook. My Aussie friends always ask me to make meat pies and sausage rolls. After our friends go hunting, they bring me the deer to butcher, and then I make some great backstrap for us all.

Sometimes I wish I could see my relatives in Oz more often, but after 10 years here and having made the trip home several times and nobody coming here, I’ve gotten happy with the idea that at least over here people like me for who I am.  Who I really am, now. Not who I used to be, or who people perceive me to be. They don’t know about Hey Dad..! or that I’m some former child star.  My in-laws accept me for being some strange foreigner with weird taste in food who doesn’t like to hug. I accept them as weird Americans who like to be way too into each others business and personal space.  But, the most important thing is that we accept each other. Nobody’s perfect. I know I’m not. I don’t expect others to be. It’s our flaws that make us interesting and endearing to each other.

I just wish some people in my family back in Oz understood that.

It’s funny how life can be so surreal sometimes.

I’ve lived here in Texas for 10 years now. We’ve traveled a bit, including a couple of trips back home, but for the most part, I’ve spent the past 10 years being just your average Joe. Nobody over here really knows about my life back in Australia. The few people who do know that I was once an actress only really know because they’ve been to one of my parties where another Aussie Expat has let the cat out of the bag and said that once upon a time in a land far, far away, Sarah was on a popular TV show…. For the most part though, I just tell them it was on a long time ago and it’s not a big deal and they leave it at that. I’m so normal over here that sometimes even I forget that I was once an actress. I tell them “Hey Dad..! was like Full House and I was like Candace Cameron. Nobody’s heard of her since then either…. ”

So, when I’m out and about and look at my tweetdeck and see my own name come up, sometimes I’m like, “Huh?” Yesterday, I was out working at a promotion and saw a couple of tweets. I figured someone may have been slow on the uptake, or I had somehow come into Andy Blume’s wrath of hate again.  So when I clicked on the link and saw it was a new article, it was kinda strange.

really? Page 3? Surely there's something more important going on.

I sent the link to Matt and when I got home he told me he thought something was going on, since he had been getting calls all weekend from strange journalists looking for a story. He thought it was odd that people were all interested again. I had also received emails from a couple of journos, but forwarded them on to the Detectives at Strike Force Ruskin, since I’m not supposed to talk about the case at all while they’re still investigating.

It’s very strange when you’re in the news. It’s even weirder when you’re so far removed from it that you don’t even know it’s happening except when you happen across it like on Twitter or someone sends you a newspaper clip like the one above. It’s very surreal. It’s also amusing that it took journo’s over a month to find that blog post. Oh well, I guess it was a slow news day in Australia.

But, I guess at least the good thing is that they mentioned Bravehearts. I am super excited to be one of their Ambassadors. I’m going to be coming home in September to attend the White Balloon Day event. They’re going to be having a Celebs Who Say NO campaign and I get to be part of it. I’m not sure I really qualify as a Celeb, as I think of myself as just another has been Former Child Star, but I’m flattered somebody thinks so. If it means I get to do something good, I’ll take the title.

So, make sure you keep an eye out for any White Balloon Day events near you. It’s not to early to start planning something.

White Balloon Day is September 7th, 2010.  Go to the White Balloon Day website to see how you can get involved. It could be as simple as purchasing an official White Balloon Day Balloon to fly at work, wearing white that day, or attending on of the special dinners that are being organized. I’m going to be sitting at one of those dinner tables, so maybe we’ll get to meet in person. I like meeting new people!

So check back here to see more information about White Balloon Day and Bravehearts as I get more involved.

Many people wonder what’s wrong with Lindsay Lohan?

This week, she has been declared as “unbankable” and fired from her next production. She looks like a train wreck. She looks like she’s going to end up like so many other former child stars, and we’ll get a headline saying she has overdosed on crack.

I feel sorry for Lindsay. She was cute as a button when she started out. She was a pretty good actress and apparently fairly decent to work with. Her mother on the other hand, is a total wanna be celebrity and bad stage mother. Remember a few years ago, when you would see pics of Lindsay out clubbing with her mother, while she was still underage? What kind of mother uses her kid to go clubbing? What kind of clubs let an underage Lohan in?

Now that Lindsay is looking all washed up, Dina has moved on to the kid sister. Lindsay is left out in the cold. Nobody is there to take care of her, especially now that she’s not a cash cow anymore.

I can’t imagine what it would be like to be Lindsay right now. Everywhere she goes, there’s people just waiting for her to goof up, so they can splash it all over the internet and celebrity news shows. No matter what she does, it’ll be spun to make her look like a loser. People have no idea what it’s like to be constantly watched and ridiculed. To never be able to just try something and fail, like a normal human. If she gains 5lbs, there will be people talking about her getting fat. Lose the 5lbs, the media will be screaming of an eating disorder. Go out and have fun with your friends, a pap takes a bad pic of you, and you’re branded as being a drunk. She’s really in a no win situation right now.

People should lay off Lindsay. She’s had a crappy upbringing. She tries to keep working, but people just keep knocking her down, which just makes her spiral even further down the depression ladder.

I wish everyone could spend a week being hunted by the media, having people write awful things about you on the internet and being scrutinized by everyone who has access to the media before they ever judge another celebrity again. It’s not all red carpets and exclusive parties. Being famous can make you infamous. It can make you paranoid and crazy.

Next time, instead of judging Lindsay, give her a hug. She probably needs one.

I know I’m probably biased about Lindsay, since I can empathize with growing up in the media, even if I was nowhere near as famous as she is. It might also be because everytime I look at her I am reminded of a young Simone Buchanan back in her Secret Valley days. I used to love that show!

Maybe Lindsay just needs to come and spend some time in Texas, away from all the prying Hollywood eyes. Take a year off and just regroup. Nobody down here cares who you are. That’s why so many celebs keep second houses in San Antonio and Austin. They can be normal humans without ending up on TMZ…

Since I got an email less than an hour after WD released the article online, and I was made to feel bad about not naming the offender because it makes everyone look guilty, I’d like to say the following:

I did not go to the media looking to sell my story. They have been asking me to release my story for over 2 years now.

It obviously wasn’t a secret, since the media knew about it and came to me looking to publish the story.

The publication chose not to release his name for legal reasons. I guess they’re worried about a slander suit.

It was such a badly kept secret, that when I came back to Australia from my student exchange, the only questions I got at auditions were about that. In the end, I decided to not act anymore, since that was all anybody wanted to talk about.

I didn’t want to do the article, as it’s obviously a very personal story and I didn’t feel the need to rehash the past, but a wise person told me that if by doing the article, I can give strength to even one other person to come forward and say that it’s happening to them and it helps it stop, then I’ve done a good thing.

I know I was not the only person affected by inappropriate behavior in the entertainment industry. Many other Child Stars are abused, many far worse than I. But through a fear of not working, they don’t speak up. Instead, they end up on drugs or bad pornos. As we’ve seen in the last couple of years, many end up dying way too early. How many Former Child Stars do you see making it as normal adults? There’s a reason they’re so screwed up.

It’s not Show Play, or Show Fun, it’s Show Business and it’s not a place for unattended children.  I hope that by coming forward, I can educate some parents on making better decisions for their children. I hope that other children can find the strength to stand up for themselves.

What happened to me was NOT my fault. I’m sorry if it makes the innocent look guilty. But I’m not going to feel guilty for speaking up and breaking the silence. I just wish I had done it 20 years sooner.

It’s only March, and Corey Haim is the third Former Child Star to die this year… I’m sitting at the office, trying not to openly cry at the thought of yet another great child actor who was simply used up and cast into the wind.

I’m not sure who to blame for all the pint size stars who end up struggling as adults. Is it the studios, the agents, the parents? Who was supposed to be taking care of these people, protecting them, making sure they were raised right? It seems as if the only child stars who turned out OK were the ones in John Hughes movies. He obviously treated those kids with respect and took care of them. All the others were just used up while they were cute and then tossed aside.

The hardest part about being a kid actor is you’re expected to work like an adult, behave like an adult, but still be cute like a kid. People get greedy. They are in charge of you. They don’t always do what’s in your best interest. Thankfully, these days in America, there’s some safeguards put into place to at least protect kids money, although there are ways around it. But when you’re a kid and you’ve got a tonne of money and then it’s all gone, it’s hard to go out and get a real job. Someone like Corey Haim or Macaulay Culkin can’t just go down to the local McDonald’s and get a minimum wage job. Well, they could. If they’d get hired. But then when you do get hired, it’s for the freak factor. But, after a while, the boss gets mad, because while you’re busy signing autographs, nobody is flipping those burgers. So then the boss gets mad and fires you. So now you can’t even keep a minimum wage job. No wonder some of those Former Child Stars turned to porn….

I hope no other Former Child Stars die this year. It’s making me nervous…. How many of us are going to just wind up as some byline about the trappings of fame as a youngster. Maybe more people should be working out what to do to help these kids, instead of just writing about them after they’re dead.

RIP Corey. You will be missed.