Fixed Reality

How Real are Celebreality shows?

Australia doesn’t have a lot of Celebreality shows. There was the three seasons of Celebrity Apprentice,  one so far of I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here, and now they’ve announced Celebrity Big Brother, which only had one version way back in 2002. The US and the UK have a massive amount of Celebrity reality shows. I’m not sure if it’s because they have more celebrities to make these shows with, or if audiences are just more receptive in other markets.

Celebrity Apprentice Australia

Anyone who follows me knows how much I love celebreality. Sure, sometimes none of us know who the “celebrity” is, and whether they really qualify to be on a celebrity version of a show, but sometimes, those wild cards end up being the most interesting contender. People complain about these shows not having bigger celebrities, but lets be real, you’re never going to get an A lister, or probably even a B lister to go on one of these shows. Honestly, I think they’re far more interesting with lesser known, or past their prime celebrities. Famous people have a brand to protect. The up and comers, or those who have fallen from grace, don’t give a shit. They’re willing to get down and dirty. They’re going to let their real personality shine. They’re not going to attempt to maintain a persona for weeks on end, trying to make sure they don’t damage their reputation.

I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here.
I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here.

That said, there seems to be a huge difference in how the US and the UK cast these shows, and how their talent acts on them. The Americans always cast big, loud, brash characters, with the intent of putting a group of people together who they know will not get along. The entertainment is supposed to come from everyone yelling and scratching each others eyes out. Most of the US talent know what the network wants, and will immediately throw a diva fit, or start crying, or spend weeks antagonizing each other. Sure, it’s drama, but frankly, it bores the shit out of me. I’m sure it also bores other people, which is why the US versions of shows only last a couple of seasons, or are sporadically programmed.

The UK versions prefer to throw a bunch of people together who will be all nice and polite to begin with, until the close confines start to wear thin. Along with the challenges being set to them, they will start to become unhinged. The slow unravel is much more interesting to watch, and creates more water cooler conversations as you work out who is going to form alliances, and who will lose it next. I also find it refreshing that the UK celebs freely admit they’re going on the show to earn money, and raise their profiles. In other countries people all yabber on about how they’re on there to raise money for charity, or make up some other selfless reason to go on there. Sure, it’s great to raise money for charity, but don’t deny you’re also getting paid a wad of cash, and it’s great personal publicity.

Just like the Aussie version of these shows always have a token foreigner or two, the UK version also has a token US celebrity. Lately though, the UK version of Celebrity Big Brother has been having more and more US cast members, to the point they’re doing an actual UK vs US version. Earlier this year, they had a version with five Americans on there, including Perez Hilton.

Celebrity Big Brother UK. Do you know who all these people are?
perez dick face
Seriously, who draws dicks on pictures?

Now, while we all know who Perez Hilton is, I’m not sure a guy who got famous for a blog where he posts pictures of actual celebrities with dicks drawn on their faces really qualifies. Yes, he’s become as famous as the people he writes about, but the guy is an absolute fucktard, and doesn’t need more oxygen. I guess the people in the UK either didn’t get who he was, or they knew exactly who he was, and that’s why they cast him. He was the epitome of the US reality star. He was worse than when Heidi and Spencer Pratt went on IACGMOOH. The whole time he just set out to create drama. He didn’t possess an inside voice, and spent half the time in there screaming about how it was “The Perez Show”, while dancing around in his undies.  I didn’t like Perez before he went on there, and I absolutely hate him with a passion now. He was someone who went on TV to raise his profile, and ended up just destroying his brand. I wonder if he watched the show back afterwards and realized what a douchebag he was. Probably not. He’s probably still blaming it all on editing. He seems to thrive on people hating him though, so he probably thinks it was a win for him.

On the other hand, when it was announced Katie Hopkins was on the show, she was met with boos as she walked in. I only knew Katie as the woman who had some very nasty views on people, and thought she would be the queen bitch of the show, and that I would hate her. After the first couple of episodes, I actually started to really like her. Yes, she’s opinionated. Yes, she can be a bitch. Yes, she doesn’t like ginger babies, and yes, she’s a snob. Yet, I found her to be a very genuine person during her time on there, and I loved that she was the one person who took no shit from Perez. Now, when you’re one of the most hated women in Britain, and you look good compared to Perez, that should be a life lesson. I’m not the only one who thought Katie was much better than Perez. I found this online poll. She would have fared better if she had backed off a bit instead of always fighting with him, but c’est la vie. I’m sure everyone else was screaming on the inside. hopkins:perez

The fact these two were kept on there after Jeremy Jackson, the former child star best known as Hobie from Baywatch, and then Reg Holdsworth were evicted in the first week for bad behaviour, made many people watching at home ask if the whole show was manipulated. Perez claimed he was getting paid more than anyone else, and at one point also claimed it was in his contract he would make it to at least the final 3 episodes. Perez should have been evicted plenty of times, but because of the massive ratings, it appeared as if Big Brother was giving him immunity to keep him on the show for longer. Yes, at first it made for good ratings, but it pissed off a lot of the audience. Deceptive contacts are not good for shows. (It’s like when David Hasselhoff appeared on the Aussie version of Celebrity Apprentice, and claimed he had to leave for family reasons after the third episode. Then it came out he was only ever going to be in three episodes. Viewers were saying “Not happy Jan”.)

Katie Hopkins ended up making it to the end with Katie Price, who ultimately won the show. Pricey was a late intruder, and missed the initial fights. She was also hopped up on pain meds, and was totally laid back during her time. Some people found her very boring, but I thought it was nice to see someone not screaming. She was very much like late comer Freddie Flintoff who won IACGMOOH in Australia.

While it made for good entertainment initially, it started to get boring very quickly as a viewer, and I certainly can’t imagine how torturous it was for the rest of the poor celebrities living in that house. We as viewers could simply hit mute, or turn the telly off altogether when it got too loud. The rest of the people on the show had to live with it, 24/7. It’s no wonder that people walked out. I’m not sure I could have dealt with it. It’s a good thing they had cameras rolling non stop, or Celebrity Big Brother could have turned in Celebrity Cluedo real quick. Perez certainly loved to tell the producers people were threatening him. Of course, anytime he threatened someone, he was “just talking smack.”

Ideally, the best way to be on these shows is as the host. You get to see all the drama, meet all the celebs, but you get to go home to peace and quiet every night. Best of both worlds. Chris Brown and Julia Morris were fabulous on IACGMOOH, and who doesn’t love Ant & Dec? I’m currently girl crushing on Emma Willis. She has the most perfect pixie cut I’ve ever seen.

chris_brown_julia_morris Ant_and_Dec uktv-celebrity-big-brother-2015-presenters-emma-willis-2

It’s got to be tough casting these shows. You’ve got to find the right balance of eye candy, real celebrities, and of course, drama. You’ve got to be careful not to alienate your audience by having total drama queens like Perez, who have turned many people off CBB altogether. I’m guessing after this season’s bullshit, they’ll have a hard time getting people to agree to go on the next season. (or it will be very expensive to get them) They should probably go back to only having a couple of foreigners, not half the cast. Or throw a token Aussie in the middle of the two. I bet there’s a bunch of expat Aussie celebs living in the UK who’d jump at being on there. How many Neighbours and Home & Away people live there now? Surely one of them would do it.

I think that Australia does a pretty good job of casting these shows. While there’s a bunch of couch surfers who whine about there being no “big names” on there, the last few versions of Aussie celebreality shows have been pretty good. Having been out of country for so long, I don’t always know who some of the people are, but I get to know them, and love or hate them because of their time on there. There always seems to be a good mix of old and new talent, and they do a nice job of picking people who will be laid back at the beginning, and let the drama unfold naturally. Sometimes they’re a little too laid back, but it’s certainly better than the constant screaming that the US versions have.

It’s still a few months off, but I can’t wait to see who the Aussie’s pick for both Celebrity Big Brother and I’m a Celebrity. It’s a nice way for this expat to stay in touch with people back home, without trying to watch an actual long term drama. I can binge watch a whole series in a few days. I like hearing the accents, and seeing the interactions. It’s especially cool to watch people you know personally go on these shows. I think it would be awesome if they did an Aussie version of The Surreal Life as well. Of course, I’m still pushing for for any of these show to do an all Former Child Star version. (Of course, you’d be looking at an almost entire US cast there.)

Just remember celebs, if you decide to do one of these shows, don’t do a Perez. It might be ratings gold, but nobody likes an asshole.

So discuss. Who do you want to see on the next versions of these shows? Who would you hate to see on there? Is there another reality show you’d like to see a celebrity version of, or do you hate reality TV altogether?



Team Former Child Star!

How awesome is Maureen McCormick?



Anyone who has read my blog, tweets, or FB page knows I’m a sucker for reality TV. Especially Celebreality TV. Too many actors are these inaccessible people, who maintain a complete facade. It’s all about a “brand” and doing whatever one needs to do to maintain that brand, whether that’s really them or not. Celebreality TV destroys that. It breaks someone down to who they really are, bad editing or not. Sure, you can edit someone to look like an arsehole, by cutting clips together of things they’ve said, but if they hadn’t said them in the first place, then they couldn’t do that…

I love getting to see the real person. If you’re a good person, you’ve got nothing to worry about. If you’re an arsehole, then maybe celebreality isn’t for you. Or maybe it is. Some people LOVE to be the arsehole.

I know a lot of people say that shows like “I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here” are for C grade has beens, or like a lot of twitter people like to say, Who are these people? I don’t know any of them.” Seriously, if you don’t know who any of the cast are, then you need to get out more. I haven’t lived in Australia for 12 years, and even I know most of them. I’ll admit, I didn’t know Joel or Tyson, but I certainly know Chrissie Swan, Daddo, Merv, Leisel and of course, Maureen. If you don’t know who Maureen is, then I’m sorry, but, you’re an idiot. When you tweet you don’t know who these people are, it says a lot more about you than any of these people. Also, to those who say, “More like C list Celebrities.” A C list celebrity is still a celebrity. The show isn’t called “I’m an A lister, get me out of here.” Did people really expect that A listers would be on this show? Firstly, an A lister would never do a reality show. They limit themselves to very small talk show segments, where people don’t have enough time to see anything but their manufactured image. Also, A listers are busy. Or, they already have enough money they don’t need to go to the jungle for weeks. I’d much rather see a normal celebrity who is willing to have a go and make fun of themselves. People who are willing to let the public see the real them.

People think celebrities go on these shows simply for money, or to revive a career. Sure, that’s part of it. But if you were offered a chance to spend several weeks in Africa, wouldn’t you jump at it? I would. Most people pay thousands of dollars to go camping in Africa. These guys are getting paid to do it. Ok, so maybe they’re not on a fun safari, but they’re still in Africa. I’m sure they get a week there afterwards to enjoy it.

The big thing though, is it’s a challenge. I commend all those taking part in getting out of their comfort zones. For trying something new. For taking a chance on doing something out of the ordinary.  To face their phobias. It’s easy for a celebrity to say no. To just stay in their designer outfits, and go hang out on a red carpet. To eat in fabulous restaurants. It takes some balls to say “fuck it, I’m going to go slum it for a few weeks and eat slimy bugs and ostrich anus”. As hard as it will be for them now, it will all be worth it when it’s over. Too many celebrities are surrounded by yes men. They become lazy and complacent. They don’t have to push themselves. Sometimes they forget how strong they are. These challenges will push them, remind them that they’re strong. Remind them of how great their life is back home. Small things like a flat white will be a big deal. Hot showers, amazing. Going home to a warm bed, brilliant.

This show is designed to push people to their absolute breaking point. That’s the point. To make pampered celebrities squeal that they can’t take it, and want to go home to their comfy lives. I love watching it though and seeing these people remember how fabulous they have it. It reminds people not to take everything for granted. Sure, some of the challenges seem easy, and from the comfort of your couch you can scream at Laura to suck it up princess. But, if she genuinely has  a phobia of fish, maybe it was too much for her. We couldn’t smell it from home. I’m sure it was putrid. Let’s not forget these people are sleep deprived, food deprived and are being watched 24/7. After getting covered in filth, they have to try to get clean in a cold shower, with no privacy. How do you clean the fish guts out of your privates without taking your bikini off? Ugh. No thank you. Of course, I’m way bitchier than the rest of those people, so when I found out that she was in charge of our meals for the next three days, I wouldn’t be coddling her and telling her that if she can’t do it, it’s ok, we’ve got rice and beans, and then talking about her while she’s gone.  I’d go all drill sergeant on her and let her know that everyone is depending on her, and she just needs to put her big girl panties on and do it. Everyone is hungry, and she needs to man up. (Yep, I’d be the arsehole of the show)

It also teaches the audience not to judge a celebrity before the first couple of days. Everyone thought that Maureen was crazy, and she’d be the first to tap out. Then she showed she probably has the biggest set of brass balls in there. Never underestimate a child star. They have an amazing work ethic, will be the best team players, and will do what needs to be done. They’re mentally tough. They’ve probably been through way more than anyone can imagine. She was thrown into a group of people, and didn’t know anyone. It had to be hardest for her. Or maybe easier, because she didn’t have any preconceived notions.

I say good luck to everyone on there. May your efforts be worth it. May you learn a bunch about yourself. May you find your inner strength. Good on all of you for giving it a go! I think you’re all fabulous. Especially you Maureen.


More Celebreality!

Aussie version of I’m a Celebrity

So it was announced a couple months ago that Channel Ten and ITV have gotten together, and are making an Aussie version of I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here.

I’m sure they made the announcement so that all the potential talent would know it was coming up, and that this would happen:


Quite a brilliant move actually. Instead of hunting down potentials, only to be turned down, why not just have everyone who thinks they want to eat worms and be covered in spiders come to you? I can understand why everyone is lining up too. The UK version is a massive hit, and really does wonders with people’s careers over there. A “celebrity” gets to push their own personal boundaries, they get to help out a charity of their choosing, and they might make some new friends. (Or if you’re Peter Andre, an ex wife) With not  a lot of work in Australia, it’s seems especially appealing to even the B listers. Of course you’re not going to get A listers on there. They’re already working. Plus, honestly, they’d be boring. It’s always much more fun to watch someone who doesn’t have “a brand to protect”, or who thinks they’re way too special for this, and gets taken down a peg or two.  I do hope though, they don’t follow the US route and purposely pick a cast that they know will be a train wreck, like they did by putting Heidi and Spencer Pratt on there. It’s much more interesting watching the polite British who are so cordial to each other slowly unfold, than go straight in with the punches. I think there’s enough drama watching grown men cry while getting spiders on their face without having Heidi cry because someone took her dry shampoo…. I’m sure there will be a token foreigner on there. It seems like there’s always a foreigner on every Aussie celebreality show. – Please don’t put Speidi on there. Please.

I think it will be interesting having it in Africa. As long as nobody gets Ebola. I know there are people who think it should be filmed in Australia, since they already have a set there, but the whole point is to take people out of their comfort zone. Sticking a bunch of Aussie’s in the “outback” of NSW probably isn’t going to phase anyone. At least in Africa you’ve got some new wildlife. Plus, who wouldn’t want a free trip to South Africa?

celeb10So, good luck to everyone trying to get on there. Better watch some of the foreign versions of YouTube so you know what you’re getting in to! Ya’ll know I’m a sucker for celebreality, so I’ll be watching.

Just remember, chew, chew, swallow. 😉

If you’re a sucker for celebreality like I am, you can keep up with the new Aussie version of I’m a Celeb on Twitter, or go to their FB page.


Be a personality, just not your own.

When you’re not allowed to be yourself…

I’ve not had the privilege of meeting Charlotte Dawson in person, but we’ve communicated over social media, and I love her because she has been supportive of me and my journey over the last 3+ years. She has sent me messages off line, giving me a much needed boost when I was feeling low. I admire the fact that she’s so open, and that she’s not afraid to tell people who she really is. I think she’s beautiful and ballsy. That’s a rare combination.

It’s hard to find real people in the entertainment business. Everyone is always just a carefully crafted image. The audience knows this, and are always begging to see the real side of stars. That’s why people love Celebrity Reality shows, because you finally get to see some real personality shine through. It’s also why so many celebs don’t do reality. Because their REAL personality is carefully hidden, lest it hurt “their brand”.

People like Charlotte let others know it’s OK to be vulnerable. That we all have emotions. That we all have bad days. She shows that celebs have feelings too, and if you constantly tell us we’re worthless, that it affects us too, just like anybody else. I thinks she’s tremendously courageous for tweeting out when she needs help. I love that she posts random photos on instagram. I love that she lets us see the real her, and not just the carefully crafted glamour shots of her.

So reading that her management company is telling her they can’t represent her because she’s damaging her brand by being too real just saddens me. It tells me her company, and that of the people using her services are just completely out of touch with reality. We don’t want carefully crafted fake personalities. We want real people like Charlotte. We want people that we can relate to. People who show us that they’re human.

Shame on you Chic Celebrity Management.

Don’t worry Charlotte, you’ll find something better.



Dive in to Splash

So anyone who reads my blog knows I’m a bit of a reality TV tragic. I figure the format isn’t going to go away, so you may as well embrace it. Besides, some of it is interesting. A lot of scripted TV shows just don’t hold my attention anymore, or they become so predictable it’s boring.

So tonight, when presented with the choice of my old favourite NCIS, or reality selections including a Kardashian special, Hell’s Kitchen, The Voice or Splash, I started out on the Kardashians, well, mainly because I had been watching E! news and it just came on. That’s when I looked at the TV guide. 😉 Now since I’m not in the mood to actually pay attention to the TV, which NCIS requires, coupled with the fact that I can watch it again in repeats, preferably in a marathon on a lazy rainy day with my husband, I decided to give Splash another go.

Now, I know you’re all thinking I’m crazy. Yes, it’s a show about a bunch of kinda celebs diving into a pool. But I think Channel 7 may have been onto something when they picked this show up. I mean honestly, when the concept of Dancing With The Stars was first announced, how many of us were like, WTF? Really, a show about dancing celebs? Ballroom, Tango? Why do we care? But look how successful that show is. Well, Splash is kinda like DWTS, and here in the US, Splash is on at 7pm, and DWTS follows on the same channel at 8pm.

Now just like Dancing, you’ve got some TV types who are learning a new skill. One that’s way out of their element. What I didn’t expect was what a train wreck this show was going to be. You don’t really think of diving as a dangerous sport. However, there’s already been several people on the US version who’ve had serious injuries. Chuy, the little nugget from Chelsea Lately broke his foot in training. Last episode one of the guys overturned and smacked the back of his head and was really disorientated.. Tonight, someone flopped on their face and got a black eye. Seriously, a black eye. There’s lots of bellyflops and ouch moments. Let’s face it, we all like watching people hurt themselves. That’s why we love Jackass or those sports clips with all the car wrecks.

It’s also nice to see people who we think have everything show a human side. Kendra was terrified on the high board. She did the show to overcome her fear of heights, but it was too much for her. Some people made fun of her for not jumping, but I think a lot of people would back away on the 10m board. Just because you’re on TV doesn’t make you super human.

Just like DWTS, it’s about the competition, but it follows the same format of showing the rehearsals, and a peek into the personalities of the contestants.

If it’s got nothing else going for it, it’s on at dinner time and you don’t actually have to pay attention to it. You can have it on, and look up occasionally and know what’s going on. Let’s face it, sometimes we don’t want to have to actually watch, we just want some background noise on. After a long day at work, I don’t want to have to actually think when I get home and watch TV….

So make fun all you like of Seven’s upcoming Celebrity Splash, but I bet it rates well for the first couple weeks at least. If nothing else, people will watch the first episode to see how good, or bad, people look in their swimwear.


Shouldn’t talent shows be about the Talent?

Who is more important, the contestants or the judges?

I get that on some of these talent shows, the judges are super important. Especially shows like The X Factor or The Voice where the judges are also coaches. You really want high quality stars who can help mold and shape a contestants career. On shows like Dancing with the Stars, or even Celebrity Splash, you want judges who are technical, and who can actually judge the sport.

But then there’s some shows where I think you don’t necessarily need a big name judge, or even someone who is skilled in that area. For example, I don’t need to be able to cook an awesome apple pie to know a good one when I taste it. Maybe if you’re going to win a restaurant, you want a Chef as a judge, but a lot of chefs don’t actually run restaurants, they just cook there. Head chefs don’t even usually cook anymore. They just stand around yelling at people, or hide in their office. But do you need a model to judge models, or should you have a combination of judges? Photographer, agent, magazine editor, etc. It seems like on some of these shows they’ve got a variety of judges. Like Got Talent has a selection of people. Which is appropriate, because they have a selection of talents. It seems silly to only have singers as judges, if you’ve got dancers, jugglers, magicians and all kinds of other random acts. I get that the judges are also a big part of the show, and that’s why networks fight over celebrities and pay massive amounts of money for those sitting behind the desk. BUT, shouldn’t the talent be more important than the judges? They’re spending millions of dollars on judges, but the talent only gets paid if they win, and even then, it’s only a fraction of what the judges make. Yes, judges work every episode, and put their reputations on the line, but I think instead of fighting over Spice Girls and paying millions to steal them, get some lesser known judges, and maybe even unknowns, like actual talent agents, and put the focus back on the stage. When all these shows started, people like Ryan Seacrest weren’t famous. He had hosted several programs, but he wasn’t the megastar he is now. These shows made the judges and hosts famous, or at least revived the careers of several people. Wouldn’t it be awesome if these shows could also be a launching platform for the hosts as well? Rotate them out every few years so they can move on, and also to give the audiences something new.

People are whining about which judges are on what show, but I don’t think talent shows should really be about the judge. We already know they’re talented. If they weren’t, they wouldn’t be up there. We are all judging from home. Because I’m not getting a million bucks, does that mean I’m not allowed to have an opinion on if someone is good or not? Lets go back to focusing on why these shows exist; To showcase the new talent out there that hasn’t been discovered yet.


Can bad celebs be good again?

Can Lindsay ever be A list again?

Remember when Lindsay Lohan was the IT girl? Everyone thought she was the next big thing? She would have a long career, win awards and just have an all around awesome life?

Then, like most former child stars, she had a meltdown, and everyone turned on her. It’s not just Lindsay. Britney Spears, Corey Feldman, Corey Haim, Christina Aguilera, Drew Barrymore, Danny Bonaduce, Brad Renfro, Macauley Culkin, anyone from Diff’rent Strokes…. They all got built up, and then went through what all teenagers go through. They get rebellious. They experiment. They break the rules. But unlike normal teenagers, they’ve got a pack of paparazzi following them, documenting all of it. Which really, would only serve to make them even crazier.

Some of the lucky ones, like Drew Barrymore, made it out the other side. But that was before social media. People like Britney had her meltdown shown in real time, all over the world. No matter where someone goes now, there’s someone who can upload whatever they’re doing instantly, it can go viral within 24 hours, and even people in deepest darkest Africa can know what celeb just hit up a Starbucks on Hollywood Blvd.

With social media, blogging, FB, Twitter, the world has also gotten a lot more viscous. People are downright mean. A lot of people also seem like they’re hoping to see the stars fall.  Everybody fucks up. If someone was following you around constantly, documenting everything you said or did, we’d see that even you fuck up occasionally. I’m not perfect. I’ve said stupid things. I’ve done dumb things. I’ve said mean things about other people. But, I’m trying really hard to be a better person and be more empathetic. I’m trying to put myself in another persons shoes before I judge them.

I can’t imagine being Lindsay. Or any Hollywood celebrity these days. How does one try to fix it when they’ve got a bunch of people just waiting for them to fall again? How do you seek help, when you’ve got a problem, but you don’t want it splashed everywhere? How do you improve yourself, without looking like a tool? If someone enters rehab to take some me time, get it together, they’re blasted by the media as having a problem. How do you go to a retreat, heal yourself, without worrying that someone else there isn’t going to blab to TMZ about what you were doing there.

Right now, Lindsay is in so much debt, she’s got so many legal problems, it’s hard for her to work. But she HAS to work to pay off that debt. So her idiot parents make money off her any way they can, even if it means making her look bad. She doesn’t want to do reality TV, because she wants to be a respected actress. Nobody respects her as an actress anymore, because she is so stressed out that when she does work, she’s not great.

How can she take time off and heal herself, without people forgetting about her altogether. Hollywood is a fickle place. Disappear for too long, and people forget about you. People want to hire those that are in the media. If being followed by the paparazzi keeps you in the media, then some celebs are willing to make sure they’re getting their pic taken. It’s such a double edged sword.

You’ve got the problem with most kid actors that acting is all they know. They’ve lived a life of privilege. They go out and people know who they are. They’re used to having money. People say they should just disappear for a while. But where are they supposed to go? What are they supposed to do? They’ve got bills to pay like the rest of us. They can’t just sit at home and watch TV all day. They can’t just go get a job somewhere. Can you imagine if Lindsay decided to get a real job? What would she do? Party planner? Real Estate agent? Flipping burgers? So, she takes jobs where she can. Like Charlie is going to give her an episode on Anger Management. Of course, that episode will time nicely with Scary Movie 5. So it’s good for both of them. She can go on trips to Australia, and get paid to make appearances. – I wish I could get that gig! She gets offers to do shows like Dancing with the Stars, but turns it down. I really wish she would accept one of these offers. Sure, turn down reality stuff like Celebrity Rehab. However, DWTS could be good for someone like Lindsay. She’d get work. She could pay her bills. We’d get to see a different side of her. We’d get to see her doing something that doesn’t involve a court appearance. We’d get to know a little bit more of Lindsay each week. She’d get back into shape and could do more of her magazine shoots, paying more bills. Celebreality doesn’t always mean you’re washed up. Lots of people have used it to re-ignite a career after taking a break. Celebrities need sabbaticals too. At least singers can get a gig as a judge on one of the multitude of singing shows. They get paid huge amounts of money, it re-ignites their careers, helps sell albums, plus, we get to know them a little more. Britney stint as a judge helped her tremendously. Unfortunately, actors don’t get the same kind of opportunities to play judge, or even host.

I’ll be super interested to see how Lilo’s Aussie trip goes. I wish I was there so I could meet her. I’d take her to lunch, sit her down, and tell her that it’s all going to be OK. Even with all the shit going on, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. There is a way for her to come out of this on top.

There’s a lot of child stars who went off the rails for a while, and made it out. Not all of them are famous anymore. Just because they’re not acting anymore doesn’t mean they’re losers either. Many have chosen to live regular lives, and are much happier for it. Then there’s Drew Barrymore. She went through hell, and now she’s a successful actress, producer, has a cosmetics line and is happily married with a kid.

I just hope that the public, and Hollywood is willing to help Lindsay become the next Barrymore.

And Lindsay, if you ever do need a break for a week or two from the craziness, I’ve got a ranch in Texas with a bunch of POSTED signs on it. You’re welcome to come anytime.


Being Lara Bingle

Why So Much Hate Australia?

Since Channel 10 likes to geoblock, and nobody has posted it onto YouTube yet, I haven’t actually been able to watch Being Lara Bingle yet. However, since I do use Twitter and read the Aussie papers, even while being deployed with the Guard, I know that Lara Bingle has a reality show and that it started to air this week. I also know that there are plenty of haters out there.

I guess after all I went through in the last couple of years I shouldn’t be shocked by all the armchair heroes with internet access spouting hate towards anyone and everyone, but sadly, I guess I just still expect better from people and am saddened when I read so much bitterness and hate directed towards someone who is simply trying to live her life and be successful at it. When I read Australian papers and all the comments from the Aussie public, it actually makes me glad that I moved away. The Tall Poppy Syndrome in Australia was always ridiculous, but now it’s just sad. I’ve learnt to love America. It’s a place where people are encouraged to dream big and go for it. If you want to be an actor, a reality star, a business person or athlete, people will support you and encourage you and be happy for you if you make it. In Australia, everyone loves “the little Aussie battler” but the moment that person makes it, the minute they achieve their dreams, they become a pariah. They’re an arsehole. They’re a jerk. They’ve become too big for their boots. Are we still that angry over our convict past that we hate anybody who might be a step above us? (Even if it’s only a perceived step)

If you really don’t like reality TV, then don’t watch it. Go watch your high brow ABC or SBS series. Sometimes people want to just switch their brains off and enjoy something silly. Hence, why there are so many reality TV shows these days. Don’t kid yourself, MasterChef is a form of reality show. Most travel shows are a form of reality. Then there are actual reality shows, like the Kardashians, (who Aussie’s seem to love) there’s Jersey Shore, and now, there’s even Mrs Eastwood and Company. That’s right folks, Clint Eastwood, Actor and Director Clint Eastwood is on a reality show. I think when Clint Eastwood starts doing reality TV, we need to accept that it’s just a part of accepted mainstream television.

I also don’t like the famous for being famous cliche. Reality TV is just as much work as making a scripted TV show. Probably more. If you’re on a soap or drama, you go to work, film, then go home. You get to leave the cameras behind. Reality TV on the other hand means having a cameraman with you about 12-18hrs a day. There is no going home and unwinding. You’re always working. Even when Kim Kardashian goes on vacation, she’s working. Personally, I think being that famous would suck. What’s the point of having enough money to go anywhere you want if once you get there you can’t leave your hotel room because you’ll be mobbed?Plus, none of these people are actually famous for simply being famous. There was a reason they got a reality show in the first place. They didn’t just go out and pick some random off the street and decide to give them a reality show.

Anyway, back to Lara. Unlike Kim, who became famous for being friends with Paris Hilton, her dad representing OJ Simpson and then making a sex tape, Lara was a model who was the international face of Australia. Sure, she’s had some questionable relationships, and some other incidents. But if we’re honest, which one of us hasn’t fucked up at one time or another? The only difference is that most people don’t have their mistakes shown on national TV or the cover of the newspaper.Most people probably couldn’t handle that kind of scrutiny either. I was amazed at her control when interviewed on The Project or B105. I wouldn’t have been that polite….

Power to Lara. If she can make money at being herself, then why not? If you don’t like it, don’t watch it. Just don’t be a douchebag and act like you’re so intellectually superior that you think there’s no need for Being Lara Bingle and that it’s the downfall of society. Not everything has to be mentally stimulating. Sometimes, we just need a good laugh.

So Lara, good luck with the show. Milk it while you can. I hope they sell it to the US so I can watch it over here.


Celebrity Reality Shows

Celebrity Reality Shows

Cast of Surreal Life, season 1

Why do we love watching these celebrity train wrecks reality shows? How many celebreality shows are on TV right now? Here in the US, there’s dozens of them. Celebrity Apprentice, Celebrity Fit Club, Celebrity Rehab, Dancing with the Stars, I’m a Celebrity; Get me out of here, the Kardashians and all their spin offs, all the different Real Housewives, the Girls Next Door and the list just goes on…

Of course there’s never any A list stars on these shows. They’re busy working, or, have a team that doesn’t want them doing reality. The only time they’re allowed to speak in public is when doing publicity on a talk show and they have all the questions prepared up front.
Which is what makes Celebreality TV so fascinating. You never know what’s going to happen. For the most part, it’s not scripted. It’s filmed over a few weeks, so people can’t be all sunshine and light and fake being fabulous Miss Congeniality the whole time. You get to see people’s somewhat real personalities come through. I say somewhat, because it is TV and these are mostly actors. They are going to ham it up for the cameras and of course the editors are going to cut stuff up for dramatic effect.

Who doesn’t love watching Celebrities explode on shows like Celebrity Apprentice? Or take a bunch of has-beens and throw them into a house together like on the Surreal Life. I know there’s a bunch of high brow folk who claim they don’t watch anything that’s not on the ABC, but we know reality TV is their dirty little pleasure too. I know they watch, because even though they claim they don’t, they can list all the reasons why, including all the best bits of each episode…

We get to see our favourite TV stars and find out what they’re really like. We get to see if they’re total pretentious dickheads or if they’re just like you and me. Some stars are total Divas. Others are surprisingly down to earth. Also, the other great thing about Celebrity competition type shows is that instead of trying to win cash for themselves, the celebs are raising money for charity. What charity doesn’t need a couple thousand dollars and untold amounts of free publicity? The Hey Dad..! cast did Celebrity Family Fued back in the day and we got a day trip to Brissie and raised money for (I think it was) the Children’s Hospital. We didn’t win the big prize. I was the final quiz person, but we did raise a couple thousand dollars. They gave me a telephone for my appearance. I swapped it with Julie who actually needed a phone. They had giver her a beautiful gold fountain pen I liked much better. 😉 I remember it was fun because that was back in the day when you actually got to fly first class. Back when Ansett was still in operation.  I think the only other time I flew first class was on a trip to the Logies. Studios just don’t pay for good seats anymore. 🙁

Anyway, I’m pretty excited to see an Australian version of Celebrity Apprentice popping up. They’ve already got Pauline Hanson, who was on Dancing With The Stars. There’s some pretty good innuendos about who else will be on there. I’m not sure they’re going to have the same heated arguments that the US version does. Aussie’s are way too laid back for that kind of drama…. Still, I hope they end up showing the Aussie version here in the US.

I wonder what other kinds of Celebreality shows are in the works? Maybe they could do a Surreal Life Australia. I know just the has-been for that one. 😉