Category: rant

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Can someone give me a reason to NOT have a sex offender registry?

It’s a few years now since Derryn Hinch came to the US, trying to get support for an Australian version of Megan’s Law. Unbelievably, it’s still not a thing in Australia. Western Australia has a form of a publicly accessible list, and while it’s a start, I still don’t think it’s as good as the ones I have available here in the US.

At the time Derryn came to the US, I was in Texas. Texas has a phenomenal Sex Offender registry. You can search by name, address, or see the most wanted sex offenders. When we had an exchange student, we were able to look at the map, and see names, photos and addresses for sex offenders on her route to school. We didn’t alarm her, we just told her there was a couple places she should avoid. There was no vigilantism, there was no picketing, there wasn’t burning bottles thrown at people’s houses. It’s just a tool, like any other, that lets you stay informed, and keep your kids safe.

We’ve moved to Florida, and they are way more pro-active here. They put up signs out the front of people’s houses in some counties. There are hundreds of pretty licence plates for cars here, with everything from the space shuttle to manatees on them, but if you’re a registered sex offender, you have one choice. Lime green. Makes it pretty easy to spot a sex offender cruising past a school… Their driver’s licence also identifies them. Schools here make visitors sign in with ID. This clearly identifies an unwanted.

I want someone to give me a valid reason Australia doesn’t have a sex offender registry. A real reason. Not some bullshit excuse about vigilantes. There’s 300 million people here, and everyone has access to the sex offender registry, and there is NO hunting of pedophiles. There’s no burnings at the stake. There’s no vigilantism. I call bullshit on that excuse.

The other excuse I constantly hear is about how some poor 18 year caught sexting with his 16 year old girlfriend ends up on the sex offender registry, and has to pay for life for their one indiscretion, and you know, “kids are kids”. I’m going to call BS on this one too. Every single sex offender tries to play this card. They were all some poor teenager caught with their girlfriend. Nobody ever admits they raped a kid. Matt’s mom had a kid who moved in next door to them, who was on the sex offender registry. In Texas, they’re legally obliged to tell the neighbours they’ve moved in. They tried to pull the whole “it was a misunderstanding with his girlfriend’s parents” crap, but a quick look at the sex offender registry, which actually tells you what the person did, let us know he raped a 12 year old.

Here’s the other thing about the US registries. They actually list what the offence was. They don’t name the victim, or go into explicit detail, but you can see whether someone really did get caught with their close to consensual girlfriend, or if they violently raped a child, or a man, or a woman. If you really did get popped for sexting, wouldn’t you want people to be able to see that, instead of just being a general sex offender?

Seriously, there is no reason to object to a sex offender registry. It’s a tool for keeping everyone safe, not just kids. Australia needs to step up and start protecting the innocent, not the offenders. People should be allowed to make decisions on how to keep themselves and their families safe, and you can’t do that without information.

Here’s the interview with Derryn from a few years ago. It’s all still relevant now.

 

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Kids on reality TV

 

The Child Labor Reality

I’ve gotten into heated discussions with people over whether kids working in the entertainment industry is comparable to child labour. The way I see it, if you’re working, you’re considered labour, so any kid working is child labour. Others try to say I’m insulting the child labourers of third world countries, because their PC definition of child labour is restricted to kids working in factories in places like Bangladesh or Honduras. Sure, kids working in third world countries have it rough, but if you think that kids working on TV are all living a life of luxury, and making a huge amount of cash for later in life, you’re sadly mistaken.

Some places like California have laws set up for kids, many places don’t. So while your ten year old can’t go work at a store, or even on the family farm, you can send them off to work on a movie set, where contrary to popular perception, the work is much less than glamorous. Filming can be long, hard, and tedious, and sometimes even dangerous. You might be working outside in snow in winter, or in the heat of summer, with no AC, or even shade. You might end up working with a sex offender, and good luck getting anyone to do anything about that. Animals normally have a handler, and laws to protect them, making sure they get breaks for water, and to rest. Kids in most states do not even have that.

Now, there’s a huge crop of reality shows based around kids. These ones have even less protections. Most reality shows are scripted, and it’s not just cameras following kids around. Jon from Jon & Kate talked about how they would do retakes if the shot wasn’t right, and they might have the kids up at 2am, outside in the snow, trying to film. He got tired of it, and wanted to protect the kids. Kate didn’t care, she was making money, and getting famous. Even better, the kids were exempt from their own contracts in the beginning, so all the money was going to the adults.

imageI could argue the child labour issue of kids in the media till I’m blue in the face, but it’s probably just easier to let Paul Petersen do it. He’s my personal hero, and he’s been fighting for kids in the industry for years. Paul started A Minor Consideration, and here he is on CBC radio, discussing the laws. It’s about 12 minutes long, but very worth your time.

Listen here: http://www.cbc.ca/player/Radio/ID/2671225973/

 

A Minor Consideration is there for all current and former kids in the industry. If you’re a product of the industry and need help, contact AMC. If you want to help out, you can make a tax deductible donation, or attend our first ever Gala event in August. All money raised goes to helping fight for the rights of the innocents of the industry.

www.aminorconsideration.org

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Wild Horses Movie Review

Wild Horses
wild-horses-movie-poster

Have you ever seen a movie so horrifically bad, you feel compelled to warn others not to waste two hours of their lives?

This movie, Wild Horses, stars Robert Duvall. He’s an American legend. Usually, his stuff is amazing. Somehow though, in between writing, directing, and starring in this movie, he completely failed. His biggest fail was casting his wife as one of the main characters. Luciana Pedraza, aka Luciana Duvall, plays a Texas Ranger so wooden, Pinocchio looks real by comparison. The only other movie she has been in was another Robert Duvall movie. Look Robert, I get you love your wife, but that doesn’t mean she can, or should, act in your movie.

I wanted to turn the movie off after the first 10 minutes, but I held out for James Franco and Josh Harnett.  (Also, there’s a Tropical Storm happening, so I can’t go play outside) Even these two couldn’t save the film. The scenes involving them were slightly better, but I just felt sorry for them being in this movie, and trying to act off the rest of the cast. Franco acted his ass off 127 Hours, and he didn’t have anyone to act with in the majority of that movie. I guess that’s easier than trying to act off people who are just terrible actors. The casting director of this film should be thrown out of the Casting Directors association. Did he even have these people read their lines before giving them their jobs? The other “Rangers” and cast members seems to have taking acting lessons from William Shatner, but forgot to use facial expressions.

The movie wasn’t helped along by my other pet peeve in movies; filming locations that aren’t remotely like the place that they’re set. I know the Texas Film Commission fucked up a few years ago by taking away film incentives, so now all these movies that are set in Texas go film somewhere else, but seriously, how do you make a movie that is supposed to be set on the Rio Grande in Texas, in Utah? Sure, Texas and Utah might both have some rocky regions, but I can assure you that nowhere along the Mexican border does it look like the Mountains of Utah. There’s no mormon tabernacles, and I laughed my ass off when the fictional LaBelle County Sheriff car was parked, and they forgot to take the Utah license plate off of it.  Also, why do people think that every movie set in Texas needs to be all about cowboys wearing wranglers and Stetsons. I was so confused when I moved to Texas and there wasn’t cowboys everywhere. Every Hollywood movie made me think there was nothing but horses and oil rigs in this huge state. Sure, there are cowboys, but that’s not all there is. It’s such a cliche.

So, save yourself the time, and the frustration, and probably your voice as you start screaming at the screen. Find something else to watch. Pretty much anything that Duvall, Franco or Harnett are in. Anything would be better than this. I guess at least Matt was amused, but I think he was watching me watch the film…. Let’s just say, I got more animated than anyone paid to be in this film.

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Celebrity Sex Offenders

The Who’s Who of Celebrity Sex Offenders.

When I first talked about being molested by someone on set, people acted like nobody in the industry was capable of being a sex offender. Which is just silly. Just because celebrity sex offenders get away with it in crazy numbers, doesn’t mean they’re not capable of doing it. It’s not like it’s unprecedented either. Plenty of celebrities were accused before me, and with the flood of people being outed lately, hopefully, more and more of them will have to face their crimes.

So lets have a little recap of who all these creepers are. Not everyone here has been charged with a crime. The Americans, besides having a statute of limitations which prevents charges being laid, are in particular very good at having cases thrown out, or settling out of court.

Since Josh Duggar is all over the news today, lets start with

 The “Reality Star” creepers.

 

The Directors

The Actors

 

The Singers

The UK Sex Offenders

The Australians

 

I’m not even going to try to do sports people, there’s just too many of them. Jerry Sandusky and Mike Tyson probably being the two most famous to actually serve prison time, both for rape.

Who have I missed on here?

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Incest is ok if you’re a christian apparently

Christians defend Josh Duggar

I’m starting to see why it’s taking a Royal Commission to bring out all the molestation scandals. Religious folks have been systematically brainwashed to think that molestation is OK, as long as the perpetrator asks God for forgiveness.

While a bunch of religious folk condemn gays and lesbians, are are very anti-gay marriage, they find it totally appropriate to defend child molesters and people who commit incest. It’s terrifying.

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Religious people love to tell atheists that without God they’re going to go to hell. Which is funny, since we don’t believe it in. But at least the atheists are all on the internet condemning rape, child molestation and incest. You don’t need God to understand that this shit is wrong. Asking the invisible friend for forgiveness is NOT the same thing as asking your victim for forgiveness. Just because your magical invisible friend tells you he’s forgiven you, doesn’t mean the important people, the victims, have.

I know there’s a lot of good people out there who are religious who also condemn this behaviour, but it just floors me that people are seriously defending this guy, pulling the “He who is without cast the first stone” bullshit. Well, I’ve never molested a kid, so I’m going to go ahead and throw that stone.

jd6Also, for all you sick people trying to justify his actions by saying he was a teenager, and that’s normal… Um, it wasn’t on the playground with another kid, where it was consensual. It was his fucking sisters, and they weren’t OK with it. This are a family who supposedly wait to even KISS on their wedding day. So you can’t even kiss before marriage, but it’s OK to stick your fingers in your fingers in your sister’s vagina? No. Just no.

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Drug Dealer deaths

Two Aussie’s are heros?

I’ve stayed away from talking about the death of the two men executed in Indonesia. Two men who were drug traffickers. Two men who took drugs into a country that they knew had a death penalty if caught.

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Andrew Chan and Myuran Sukumaran. Photo: Anta Kesuma

These two men, Andrew Chan and Myuran Sukumaran, are convicted drug dealers. They never claimed to be innocent, and were executed, with the possibility of being innocent. They knew what they were doing. They moved drugs. Drugs that kill people. People seem to forget, while mourning the death of these two, that these two may have caused the death of other people as well.

I know I’m prejudiced. I spent three years working on the Mexican border, in an intel office monitoring illegal activity. Human trafficking, money laundering and narcotics. I think people in Australia, who are the largest consumers of illegal drugs, have no idea what goes on to get those drugs to them. People just live in a happy bubble, and think their coke and heroin just magically appear on their local dealers door, where he gives them a little bit to party with. What people don’t see, is the thousands of people who are killed each year. Not even from taking drugs. Hundreds of thousands of people have died in the drug war. Cartels in Mexico have killed over 60,000 people in 6 years. They kill each other over turf. Over trafficking routes. Over exportation lines. It’s insane what people just in Mexico do to keep the flow of drugs going, and it’s not just Mexico. It’s happening all over the world. So if just Mexico has 60k dead in 6 years, you can imagine how large the number of dead in the  global drug trade.

I’ve seen the executions. I’ve seen the torture. I’ve seen what people are capable of doing to each other in the name of drugs. Things a person should never, ever see. Things that will give you nightmares. So when I see these two drug dealers being elevated to martyrdom status, it just makes me angry. These two dealt in death. These two contributed to the war.  If they hadn’t been caught, they may have ended up executed not by the government of Indonesia, but by another drug trafficker.

I understand that people think these two have reformed. That they repented, and were no longer bad boys. However, I’m betting anyone will say that they’ve reformed when faced with an execution. The calls on the Australian government, and Tony Abbott in particular to “grow a pair” and “go save our boys” was ridiculous. First off, the Australian government went above and beyond to try to have these two pardoned. Second, Indonesia is a massive country, with a population that far exceeds that of Australia. Diplomatic relations means you can’t just send in a Seal Team to rescue them. Third, they’re not “boys”. They were grown men, who knew what they were doing was wrong. Fourth, could you imagine the anger if another government jumped on a jet to Australia and demanded that their countries prisoners should be handed over and set free?

I understand that Australian’s don’t agree with the death penalty. I agree that it doesn’t work. It’s not a true deterrent. However, people know that Indonesia has a death penalty, and if you’re stupid enough to take drugs in anyway, then you’re going to be given the death penalty if you’re caught.

Instead of creating scholarships in their name, as the Catholic University is doing, making these two out to be Saints, maybe the government could do more to teach people about the effects of drugs, and stop the trade in drugs. Maybe Australians should educate themselves, and see that when they do a little coke on friday night, and they think they’re not really harming anyone, they should take a look around the world and see where that coke came from, and how many people died to get it to them.

http://www.borderlandbeat.com/ has some interesting articles in English that show the effects of the drug trade in Mexico.  If you can read Spanish, or use the Google translation tool, have a look at http://www.blogdelnarco.com/ Don’t watch the videos unless you have a strong stomach… I haven’t included any graphics here, because they are too graphic for most people, but all you need to do is an image on search Mexico drug deaths, and you’ll see a bullet to the heart was a quick death compared to most.

 

 

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Sprint’s Deceptive Trade Practices

Why can’t Sprint unlock an iPhone?

So back in 2012 I bought an iphone 5 from Sprint. They assured me that I could use the phone anywhere in the world, and they could unlock the phone. Now, they did unlock it internationally (or they say they did, I haven’t tested it yet), but I’m trying to get them to unlock it domestically. I am well and truly out of contract, and live in an area with crappy Sprint coverage. So, I’m going to change providers. I don’t want to upgrade to a new phone, because there is nothing wrong with the phone I have.

Phone support gives me a “code” that I need to take to the next provider. But the other providers have no idea what to do with it. Even Apple says that Sprint has to unlock the phone themselves. Each customer care person gives me a totally different reason on why they can’t unlock it, and that it’s someone else’s dept.

I got a new SIM card from another provider, but they said that Sprint had to unlock the phone. They had no idea what to do with the code.

I go home, and call up phone support.

So the guy from the call center today said to take my code to the Sprint store, where they would hook it up to a computer, and they would unlock it.

I drove to the store, and they said they they weren’t a “tech” store, and that I had to take the phone home, and insert the new SIM card, and then connect it to itunes. – No, that didn’t work.

apple

I get online, and talk to the chat people. Again, back to have the new people unlock it.

sprint

 

Twitter people tell me that the phone can’t be unlocked with the MSL. THEY have to do it.

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So back on the phone to customer support. She’s trying to tell me I have to take the code to the new carrier, and I explain all the bullshit I’ve already been through today, and that her code is worthless. So now I’m waiting while she tries to find out if there’s another way to do this…

Sprint Legal tries to tell people that even if they do unlock the phone, it probably won’t work on another provider. So they’re trying to tell me that when I bought the phone, and asked if I could use this phone anywhere, and they told me yes, they were either lying because it can’t be used anywhere, or they’re lying now. Honestly, I don’t understand how a phone can be used in Taiwan, India, Australia, South Africa or Italy, but it can’t be used on another provider within the USA. It’s deceptive trade practices. They can unlock the phone, but they choose to just send people round and round till they give up. Now I understand why the FCC had to step in and make a law forcing carriers to unlock phones. If customers have paid for them, are are not longer under contract, it’s wrong to not hold the phone hostage to that network.

Meanwhile, I’m not sitting here waiting for the customer service people to call back and give me their latest excuse for why they can’t unlock my phone….

And they just called back, and she keeps telling me that I need to go to AT&T, and give them the code, and then they’ll unlock it.

Sprint, you suck. You’re breaking the law by not unlocking my phone, and I’m betting there’s enough other unhappy people out there to start a class action lawsuit.

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Knox Grammar

Royal Commission and Knox Grammar

The Royal Commission into Child Abuse has been uncovering a lot of horrific stories of abuse in Australia. I think while it’s devastating that so many people have been abused, and some of their stories are heart wrenching, some of the reactions to the abuse have been much worse.

Knox_Grammar_School_Logo.svgHearing people discuss the abuse at Knox Grammar has kind of shocked me. There are plenty of people online who seem to imply that these kids deserved it because their parents sent them to a fancy pants grammar school.

I’ve been to both public school, and private school. When I attended Meriden, Knox Grammar was in our circle of friends. We all huddled together on the train station. We attended the same functions. Just because we were private school kids, didn’t make us any less human. It didn’t make us any more deserving of abuse. To suggest that the parents of these kids are to blame because they were more interested in sending their kids to a grammar school than a state school is appalling. I don’t care if you have a beef with private schools getting money from the government. I don’t care if you once hated a kid who went to a private school. I don’t care if you’re secretly jealous that you didn’t get to attend a private school.

Nobody, and I mean nobody, deserves to be abused. Whether you’re a millionaire’s daughter attending Ascham, a janitors kid on a free scholarship at Knox, or a middle class kid attending the local state high school. No matter your status, or income bracket, all children deserve to grow up, free of abuse.

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AskHerMore

Why I’m conflicted over the #AskHerMore campaign

So it started in 2014. People thought that there was sexism on the red carpet at awards events, because people asked women about what they were wearing, but didn’t ask men the same questions.

I get that women want to be treated as equals. It must annoy married couples who walk the carpet, or attend junkets, and when they compare questions at the end of the day, she was asked questions about whether or not she wore spanx, and he was asked about what role he wants to take on next. I get it, the women don’t want to be reduced to nothing more than a mannequin.

But I’m also conflicted. These are people who are on a red carpet, attending an awards ceremony. They are people who play make believe for a living. It’s not like they’re at an event celebrating scientists, or nobel laureates, or even a charity event. These are not people who have found a cure for cancer. They’re not celebrating that they’re ending world hunger, or putting in a bunch of water wells in remote areas. It’s a bunch of people who work in the entertainment industry, patting each other on the back over who made the best entertainment. Sure, some of the movies are about good causes. Some help to bring light to important issues. Some winners even used their acceptance speech time to bring light to their causes and campaigns.

The red carpet however, has evolved over the years to become it’s own little event. There are probably millions of people who watch the red carpet festivities, and then switch off the rest of the event. Honestly, I don’t give a shit who wins best actor, or best movie. I do like to see some of the behind the scenes people recognized. There are thousands of people involved in making a motion picture. The actors are just a few of them, and yet, they get all the recognition.

People enjoy the red carpet. Everyone loved watching Joan Rivers on the red carpet, (I can’t believe they left her out of the Memoriam section) and then people spend days discussing who wore what.  Fashion Police is always most popular at awards season. When an actor is in a movie, they are told what to wear, what to say. Seeing people on the red carpet you get to see old Hollywood glamour. We see people dress up, and hopefully, a little sense of a persons style. Truthfully though, these days, most people just have their stylists do everything for them. The fashion industry spends months preparing for Red Carpet season. They devote weeks making dresses that these women will wear on the Red Carpet, hoping that will translate to sales down the line. Designers provide gowns, sometimes worth thousands of dollars to these people. It’s not just the women either, plenty of male actors are not only getting free suits, but they’re also being asked on the red carpet “who are you wearing?”  George Clooney is always being asked what he’s wearing. Jewellers drip these people in necklaces and bracelets. There are millions of dollars in diamonds at one event alone.

The whole reason that designers are providing these outfits to these actors is because they know they will be asked, “Who are you wearing?” It’s priceless advertising. If we stop asking these people who they are wearing, will designers slowly decide to stop providing stars with outfits and fittings for free? Will we go back to the days when you had to actually shop and pay for your own dress?

People's Choice Awards dress. 1992?
People’s Choice Awards dress.
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Another one of Mum’s creations.

When I went to The Logies, and the People’s Choice Awards while on Hey Dad, nobody was gifting dresses. You had to get your own. One year, I went in a tuxedo, with a brightly colored cumberbun and bow tie. Usually though, my mother made my outfits. Bless her, for all we don’t talk, I do admire her seamstress skills. She made almost all of my clothes growing up, even my school uniforms. She made my high school formal dress. Sure, I look like Princess Diana, but I didn’t look like anyone else there. Plus, Princess Diana was a trendsetter, so it’s OK. However, I doubt that if I were to attend a red carpet these days, that my mum would be willing to make me a dress. Which means I’d either have to go shop on my own, spend days trying to find the right dress, hope nobody else bought the same dress, have it tailored, and then, if I was asked on the Red Carpet who I was wearing, I’d have to decide whether to give free advertising to a company that I had paid to wear, or simply give the “it’s vintage” answer. <- Yes, when someone says It’s vintage it means they bought their own dress. Or, I could hope that I don’t get asked Who I’m Wearing. Hmm, maybe the campaign is for people who got snubbed and weren’t provided a dress. I hadn’t thought of that…

Anyway, I know it’s shallow. I know it makes women feel objectified. I know it’s the new thing to not want to be asked what you’re wearing, or at least ask more than just just. It has been tried before though. Here’s an excerpt from The Hollywood reporter. Ryan Seacrest tried eliminating the “Who are you wearing” question in 2010, and was criticized heavily for it. “Hey Ryan, Talk to the Dress” read a New York Times style column headline that detailed the backlash from fashion bloggers. “It was almost like he wasn’t that interested in the designers,” designer Nicole Miller said. “He seemed more interested in the celebrities and their careers.”

Maybe people are ready now to have more questions on the red carpet than just ones about fashion. Or maybe people should just accept the fact that the Red Carpet IS all about the outfits, and save the deep and meaningful conversation for their actual interviews with talk show hosts and magazines… Or they could get a blog and bitch, I mean, discuss all they want like I do here. The Red Carpet is always optional. If you’re really offended by the current line of questioning, you could boycott it altogether.  You could  always just avoid people like Giuliana Rancic who you know is going to ask you that question, and stick to the more serious reporters. Or, you could learn to move a conversation in the direction you want. Let them break the ice with a question about your outfit, and then steer the conversation towards your chosen charity, or cause, or attempt at world domination. You’ve only got about 90 seconds though, so try not to get too deep.

scallopedneckline
She even put the tartan as beading on the sleeves.

 

Otherwise, I hope your mum is skilled enough to do this type of scalloped neckline.

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Very angry

Wanna know how to get me upset?

Wanna know how to piss of a victim of abuse? Wait until another person goes public about their abuse, and then suggest that they’re just doing it for money for fame.

BSI don’t think people grasp the concept that not everyone wants to be famous. Not everyone is looking for that 15 minutes. Some people just want to be heard. They want justice. They want to right a few wrongs.

Everytime I see a new person who is being investigated, for just a minute, I’m so happy that others are following in my footsteps, and are taking on the high profile untouchables. But that joy doesn’t last very long, because it only takes a few minutes for the doubters to come out. All the people who think the only reason a person would ever speak up is because they want to be the next Kim Kardashian, or they want to pad their bank accounts.

Except for me, I can’t recall the last public figure who actually named another public figure, and then went to court. Corey Feldman spoke up about the industry, but didn’t name specific people. There’s a few others in the US who have spoken up, but unfortunately, the US has a statue of limitations. If a person doesn’t press charges pretty quick, then it just becomes slander if they name someone. Over here, people will speak up to let others know it’s happened, or is still happening. I have spoken to several other former kid actors over here in the US who have been through abuse. Some spoke up, some didn’t. They all know how terribly hard it is to live with, being judged. Every little thing you say will be over analyzed, picked apart, recorded, and then, if you’re lucky enough to make it to court, it can and will be used against you. Ever drunk tweeted Simon Cowell? Well, you can bet your arse that will come up in court. Ever said you thought a certain party would be fun to attend? Oh, you must be making up a story of abuse so that you can hob nob with the other actors then.

Most public figures simply don’t say anything. They don’t want to get involved. It’s messy. Contrary to popular belief, it doesn’t help your career. Not all publicity is good publicity. Corey has been steadily working for years. Not box office gold, but he’s still working. Think his going public about him and Haim being abused helped his career? Pfth. He copped so much shit after that, I’d be surprised if he ever talked about it again. Imagine trying to speak up and have Barbara tell you “You’re ruining an entire industry.” Think I helped my career by standing up? I was slowly finding my place in life. I was just getting my shit together. Then I went public. I couldn’t make a comeback to TV if I wanted to these days. No one would hire me. I was asked to do Celebrity Apprentice the first year, but my “minders” told me not to do it, because it would look bad if we went to court. Now it’s over, I won’t get anything either. There’s not a lot of work for people who speak up against their own. Right now, it’s “too soon” after court. Next year, I’ll be long forgotten.

As a public figure, you’re not supposed to talk about how hard the journey is, in case others who are thinking of speaking up hear you, and decide not to. There’s so much pressure to constantly say the right thing. Everyone is watching, waiting. So many people put demands on you. They’ll all use your name publicly, as if they’re right there with you, when in most cases, they haven’t checked in on you for months. When it’s over though, they all give you a pat on the back, publicly of course, then move on to the next cause. You’re left standing there, life in tatters, not knowing where to go, who your friends are, or what to do next. Can you do what you want now without people watching and speculating? If you decide to go back to TV, will it be used against you in an appeal? Will people come out and think, well, she must have been planning this all along? Or do you just go crawl back under the rock you were dragged out from? Give up on everything?  Some days that seems much easier.

So if it’s that hard for people who are used to the public scrutiny, I can’t imagine what it would be like for a non public person. Funny though, with all these people pointing foul, and claiming anyone speaking up must be doing it for fame or money, I couldn’t name a single person off the top of my head who has spoken up against Robert, Rolf, Jimmy, Max or now Cliff. Can you? Do you know who any of these people are? There are literally hundreds of people who went to police about Jimmy Saville. Hundreds. Can you name any of them? What about Rolf? What about Robert? Do you even know how many people were involved in the Robert investigation? Think it was just the five that went to court? Nope. That’s just the ones who had enough evidence the police could lay charges. There was more. Many more of us. But apart from his niece, who didn’t get charges laid, do you know who any of them are? Do you think we somehow all came out of this four year ordeal better off? Are we now all rich and famous? Are we driving around in Bentleys, on our way to the Yacht Club? Are we drinking with the hipsters in Ibiza? Am I back in Oz, working on a TV show? Better still, did I manage to convert my infamy in Oz to a career in Hollywood? Yeah, cause that’s just what a producer here is looking for…. A has been child star from a foreign country who pressed charges against her on screen dad, while implicating her producer and network. Gosh, I have no idea why I don’t have people from Hollywood offering me stacks of cash for  a reality show. – Yes, that was sarcasm. (Which you’ll learn you need to point out for when your blog posts come up in court)

What about any of the other cases? Are any of those people better off? Have they made a wad of cash? Are they on Oprah? Or DWTS? Or anything?

No. Nobody presses charges against a celebrity for sexual abuse to better themselves. At least not financially. It certainly doesn’t help with your street cred either. It just makes people uncomfortable. Nobody knows what to say in front of you. People at work will be paranoid that you’re now the sexual harassment lawsuit girl. People will think you magically got a bunch of money. Not sure where from. I didn’t get any victims of crime money. The govt slashed it while the police were investigating. Robert’s lawyer made a big deal about spreading the rumor that his client was bankrupt. (Of course, he’s still got enough for an appeal though) Not that I could sue anyway. While there’s no statute for criminal charges, one for a civil suit passed well before we went public. We can have the dates waived with a court order, but after being through court once, I doubt most people have the energy left to fight again. I know I don’t. I do hope all the girls in the Rolf Harris case can band together for strength and follow through on their case for compensation. They probably won’t get much after lawyers fees, etc, but hopefully it’s enough they can pay for counseling, or at least a time out to de-stress from the court proceedings.

I know I’m rambling on at this point. I guess all I really want to say is, before you open your mouth and declare that someone must be getting unfairly targeted for being a singer, actor, sportsperson or whatever, stop and think. Do you even know who the victim is? Do you know anything about them at all? Do you have any idea of what they’ve been through, or what it must be like for them to now be speaking up? Do you really think there’s anything to be gained by them pressing charges? Most importantly, when you open your mouth with your doubts, who else are you hurting? Are you questioning your own loved ones? Would they have told you something that was happening to them, but now won’t, because they think that you’ll think they’re just making it up? Are you passing judgement on a friend who may have been through abuse, but hasn’t shared that with you?

When you declare someone must be doing it for fame or fortune, it says a lot more about you than about the victim. It says that it’s something that you’d consider doing. That whole thing about robbers being worried about being robbed, or hitmen being killed, cheaters being cheated on, etc…

Most of us just want to stop the pain. We want to make it right. We want an apology. We didn’t make a consensual sex tape that “accidentally got leaked”. We were abused, against our will. We’ve already been stripped bare and had our emotions played with. We don’t need it again while already going through a shitty experience. Don’t be that person who pokes someone who’s already on a ledge.

 

 

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